I wouldn’t allow my children to leave my sight out in public with anyone they just met, even someone their own age. I always say “It’s my job to keep you safe, so I need to be able to see you.”

I mean you would have been fine letting your kid wander off with another 7 year old?

Anonymous wrote:Mom to older child (in friendly voice): What did you find?

Older nondangerous child: It’s a spider web and it’s really really big and I’m pretty sure it’s a black widow like I saw on tv and did you know that their venom can kill a water buffalo in like two seconds?

Older sketchy child: It’s a secret. They have to come with me to find out.

Mom (either way): Sounds exciting! Let’s all go check it out, guys.

Mom (to own kids, later, in a calm voice): You know, I went with you to look at the spider web because it was an older kid inviting you to go somewhere you couldn’t see me. Just like you should never go with a grownup without checking with me yourself, you need to do the same thing if an older kid or teenager asks you to come with them. I need to say OK first, or I need to go with you.

Thanks, this is helpful. It helps to have the language. My kids are very inquisitive. So what would you say if they asked why they shouldn’t go with a grownup or older kid?

-op

Op here, and this happened several months ago but I still think about it and wonder if it it was something innocent or something more sinister. DH was with me and we both stepped in when they started walking away, and I asked him for a double check on my spidey sense, and he completely agreed with me, there was something off about the older boy. And DH isn’t normally the overprotective type.

I followed and watched for a while. The weird thing was, as soon as they followed him to a new section, he’d try to lure them away again to another area. And the thing he wanted to show them was just a fountain. The third time he got them to follow him, they actually went out of a cave/room area and were about to be completely out of sight.

And by his demeanor, I meant the way he acted, not his skin color. He was white, not that it matters. He didn’t seem like he was on the spectrum or had any social impairment that I could see, but it did occur to me as a possibility. I go out with my kids to playgrounds, parks, museums, etc all the time, and I never had a complete stranger who was significantly older try to befriend my younger kids. Same age range, yes. Neighborhood kids that we know, yes. But not complete strangers.

My 4yo is confused however, about who is safe to talk to and who is not. In the past I told him it’s fine to play and talk to other kids and always ok when I am there. Of course I don’t want my kids to be afraid to talk to other children. Or to think that all strangers are dangerous. But I also want to do what I can within reason to keep my kids safe. But how? What’s the age when it becomes stranger danger?

Yes suspicious.

Sister in law works in trafficking. Your kids will leave with kids easier than adults as shown. Always trust your gut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does saying you are concerned with this...

"and also his general demeanor"

mean?

She means black.

+1

I don’t think he sounds that suspicious if he said that right in front of you and like others I doubt he was 10-11 if he wanted to talk to your kids. My 9 year old is a girl and everyone always thinks she’s 11-13 and she is not. Either way , I wouldn’t let my kid go anywhere out of my sight with a stranger by themselves.

Mine know the rules. They would have wanted to see, but would have took off running to get me immediately (bc at least the older you me would have realized they wouldn’t be able to see me, therefore I wouldn’t be able to see them). The arm-pulling, “come ooooooon!” type of situation...

Mom to older child (in friendly voice): What did you find?

Older nondangerous child: It’s a spider web and it’s really really big and I’m pretty sure it’s a black widow like I saw on tv and did you know that their venom can kill a water buffalo in like two seconds?

Older sketchy child: It’s a secret. They have to come with me to find out.

Mom (either way): Sounds exciting! Let’s all go check it out, guys.

Mom (to own kids, later, in a calm voice): You know, I went with you to look at the spider web because it was an older kid inviting you to go somewhere you couldn’t see me. Just like you should never go with a grownup without checking with me yourself, you need to do the same thing if an older kid or teenager asks you to come with them. I need to say OK first, or I need to go with you.

I'd be 100% scared he was luring them away to a waiting adult with a van nearby for child trafficking. I wish I were joking.

OP, you were spot on. I would have yelled.

was he on the spectrum?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not suspicious at all. Likely an outgoing 10 year old who found something neat and wanted to show it to other kids. Why couldn’t you all just go with him together to see what it was? Obviously if he was up to no good he would have changed his mind once an adult was involved.

+ 1

Why not just say "c'mon kids, let's see this cool thing..."?

This is what I would have done.

You are completely right. Unfortunately, statistics show that abuse happens in this exact scenario, an older, stronger child preys on a younger weaker child, especially trying to lure them to go with him to a different location.

Parents please be aware as the OP was. These are the shocking facts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the thing that was really cool?

We’ll never know.

Sounds suspicious OP. I would have said, sure, if I go with them they can go see something cool.