Anonymous wrote:I have a 17 year old dad, am 50, and have the following thoughts:

1. 16 candles was cringey at the time and the least favorite of the Hughes movies with my friends

2. My DD was horrified by it and the other John Hughes movies. Likes Real Genius though (but not Top Secret or Fletch). You wanna freak ourself out? The original Ghostbusters is VeRY bad in many ways

3. Her name was Baby to show how sheltered she was by her family - Swayze didn’t give her the name. She was also very clearly interested in him and he was reluctant - he did not stalk or rape her in any way. DD approves.

4. We DID know what date rape was. We also did not think the police would help us. Two of my friends were date raped in college, and neither would press charges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember thinking Long Duck Dong was offensive. But the rest seemed completely normal.

I don't want to make this political, but when the Kavanaugh stuff was happening I had a hard time explaining to my younger friends that date rape wasn't something we had words for. Girls were blamed for making poor choices and we all took that at face value--it would have been unthinkable for many of us to call the police or tell your parents. Thank goodness times have changed.

This. My college roommate was messing around with a guy and he didn’t stop when she asked him. We didn’t have words for it. It wasn’t considered rape, nor consent. There was nothing to do but try to forget about it. If she hadn’t been a virgin that might have been easier. He probably was one too.

To my eternal regret I didn’t have the emotional maturity or the words to support her at the time...going to the police (or more likely campus security) would not have helped. We just didn’t talk about it after that weekend. I couldn’t handle it and didn’t know how to help.

How old are you people? I'm 51, about to mark my 30th college reunion, and we certainly knew what date rape was when I was in college. We absolutely "had words for" it. I realize that awareness has expanded and some norms have in fact changed, but unless you're elderly, date rape was already well understood decades ago.

I am 50 years old. I'm glad your experience was different, but don't assume that it's universal. The overwhelming tone was that women should dress and behave to protect themselves at all times, and any woman who didn't had already consented to whatever happened afterwards. I was in college before I heard "no means no," and that was kind of radical.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just watched the movie with Millennials and Gen Z (ages from 37-22). We were all absolutely horrified by the blatant racism against Asians and sexism of the film. We could not believe how the movie glorified date rape culture (the main guy giving the nerdy guy his passed out girlfriend to do whatever he wanted with her...) and how alot of the men were just plain predators...

Don't get me started on a non-consenting woman being forced down the aisle to get married.

We were all wondering if this was actually funny in the 80s. Did anyone see anything wrong with this or was this just the way it was back then?

Isn't exhausting perpetually on the hunt for things to be triggered by? Or is this just purely performative to show us how keenly virtuous and "woke" you are? Get a life.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sad everyone is denigrating 80s movies. Because if you do that, your throwing our (sexist) music under the bus too. And if you so that, then you lose our spirit.

What I loved about the 80s is that we were scrappy and fun and a little wild. We did outrageous things and it was OKAY.

It was acceptable back then. It is not today, and I'm glad. Having sex with someone who is passed out is considered rape now. It wasn't back then.

I’m glad about that too, but I still love the 80s movies.

I haven't watched 16 Candles in a long time but I remember liking it when I did see it - typical 80's flick. I don't really remember the movie very well tbh so I can't speak about the controversial scenes being discussed here. But I want to point out that even back in the 80's it was NOT o.k. to have sex with or otherwise take advantage of a passed out person.

It's a movie. We knew that back then.

We knew it was bad but it was legal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember thinking Long Duck Dong was offensive. But the rest seemed completely normal.

I don't want to make this political, but when the Kavanaugh stuff was happening I had a hard time explaining to my younger friends that date rape wasn't something we had words for. Girls were blamed for making poor choices and we all took that at face value--it would have been unthinkable for many of us to call the police or tell your parents. Thank goodness times have changed.

This. My college roommate was messing around with a guy and he didn’t stop when she asked him. We didn’t have words for it. It wasn’t considered rape, nor consent. There was nothing to do but try to forget about it. If she hadn’t been a virgin that might have been easier. He probably was one too.

To my eternal regret I didn’t have the emotional maturity or the words to support her at the time...going to the police (or more likely campus security) would not have helped. We just didn’t talk about it after that weekend. I couldn’t handle it and didn’t know how to help.

How old are you people? I'm 51, about to mark my 30th college reunion, and we certainly knew what date rape was when I was in college. We absolutely "had words for" it. I realize that awareness has expanded and some norms have in fact changed, but unless you're elderly, date rape was already well understood decades ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was funny and a bit racy, but was bothered by the Asian stuff because my best friend was from the Philippines and got a lot of rude comments.

But when my 9 and 12yo kids watched it with me they labeled it as date rapey. So I tried again with the Breakfast Club which was better. I should have stopped there- they thought Dirty Dancing was creepy, DD thought Patrick Swayzie was a pedophile and Goonies was a flop too.

I think that's a bit much. How many people here have big age gap? He was supposed to be 24 in the movie. He was 34 IRL, and she was 26 IRL. 18 and 24 in the movie.

But he didn't look 24, he looked 34. Until I read your post, I had no idea his character was supposed to be younger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was funny and a bit racy, but was bothered by the Asian stuff because my best friend was from the Philippines and got a lot of rude comments.

But when my 9 and 12yo kids watched it with me they labeled it as date rapey. So I tried again with the Breakfast Club which was better. I should have stopped there- they thought Dirty Dancing was creepy, DD thought Patrick Swayzie was a pedophile and Goonies was a flop too.

I think that's a bit much. How many people here have big age gap? He was supposed to be 24 in the movie. He was 34 IRL, and she was 26 IRL. 18 and 24 in the movie.

But he didn't look 24, he looked 34. Until I read your post, I had no idea his character was supposed to be younger.

I thought he looked in his twenties...maybe not 24 but not 34. And his character was so obviously that age. Plus, he was such an amazing dancer that who else could have made the part so awesome. I loved that movie and still do. Rapey...as if...Baby knew what she wanted and got it. And he treated her with respect. No ruining Dirty Dancing!

who knows, who cares. The final scene in Dirty Dancing still elates me!

I always thought the plot was predatory & her being named "Baby" certainly didn't tamp down that theme. Or maybe that was the intent. Who knows.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was funny and a bit racy, but was bothered by the Asian stuff because my best friend was from the Philippines and got a lot of rude comments.

But when my 9 and 12yo kids watched it with me they labeled it as date rapey. So I tried again with the Breakfast Club which was better. I should have stopped there- they thought Dirty Dancing was creepy, DD thought Patrick Swayzie was a pedophile and Goonies was a flop too.

I think that's a bit much. How many people here have big age gap? He was supposed to be 24 in the movie. He was 34 IRL, and she was 26 IRL. 18 and 24 in the movie.

But he didn't look 24, he looked 34. Until I read your post, I had no idea his character was supposed to be younger.

I thought he looked in his twenties...maybe not 24 but not 34. And his character was so obviously that age. Plus, he was such an amazing dancer that who else could have made the part so awesome. I loved that movie and still do. Rapey...as if...Baby knew what she wanted and got it. And he treated her with respect. No ruining Dirty Dancing!

who knows, who cares. The final scene in Dirty Dancing still elates me!

I always thought the plot was predatory & her being named "Baby" certainly didn't tamp down that theme. Or maybe that was the intent. Who knows.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sad everyone is denigrating 80s movies. Because if you do that, your throwing our (sexist) music under the bus too. And if you so that, then you lose our spirit.

What I loved about the 80s is that we were scrappy and fun and a little wild. We did outrageous things and it was OKAY.

It was acceptable back then. It is not today, and I'm glad. Having sex with someone who is passed out is considered rape now. It wasn't back then.

I’m glad about that too, but I still love the 80s movies.

I haven't watched 16 Candles in a long time but I remember liking it when I did see it - typical 80's flick. I don't really remember the movie very well tbh so I can't speak about the controversial scenes being discussed here. But I want to point out that even back in the 80's it was NOT o.k. to have sex with or otherwise take advantage of a passed out person.

It's a movie. We knew that back then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember thinking Long Duck Dong was offensive. But the rest seemed completely normal.

I don't want to make this political, but when the Kavanaugh stuff was happening I had a hard time explaining to my younger friends that date rape wasn't something we had words for. Girls were blamed for making poor choices and we all took that at face value--it would have been unthinkable for many of us to call the police or tell your parents. Thank goodness times have changed.

This. My college roommate was messing around with a guy and he didn’t stop when she asked him. We didn’t have words for it. It wasn’t considered rape, nor consent. There was nothing to do but try to forget about it. If she hadn’t been a virgin that might have been easier. He probably was one too.

To my eternal regret I didn’t have the emotional maturity or the words to support her at the time...going to the police (or more likely campus security) would not have helped. We just didn’t talk about it after that weekend. I couldn’t handle it and didn’t know how to help.

How old are you people? I'm 51, about to mark my 30th college reunion, and we certainly knew what date rape was when I was in college. We absolutely "had words for" it. I realize that awareness has expanded and some norms have in fact changed, but unless you're elderly, date rape was already well understood decades ago.