Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 10:40     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
When kids are older, you can have a get a way if your kids want to go to sleep away camp.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 10:33     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:Do you just not go away?

My parents are local but are disabled, so they aren’t an option for long-term care. ILs are semi-local, but I don’t trust their judgement for long periods of time. They are the “fun grandparents”, and the every time we try a long visit, they come back exhausted, sick and puking from the junk food and late nights.

So we have never taken a longer trip. I’m OK with this but I think DH would like to go away. We are close to the age of away summer camps, but not quite. So do you just wait?

At 3 months we started taking the kids to the Caribbean, they were babies. Did you never think of this OP? You don’t have to wait, you can take them IF you wish.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 10:32     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
OP, did it not occur to you that you can take the kids?
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 10:30     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get that out of your system before you have kids. It isn’t about you anymore once you have kids, don’t be so selfish. Seriously.


A weekend alone with your spouse once every few years is obviously the height of selfishness.


Yes, it is.


This
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 10:27     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Our parents live abroad, but it would never have occurred to us to go on a long trip without our kids. It didn't occur to my BILs who live close to my MIL and could have asked her to babysit. We want to spend time with our kids, OP. To each his own, but I confess I don't understand why people have kids if it's just to leave them at home while they off gallivanting.

No one on this thread but you is talking about a long trip.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 09:01     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Our parents live abroad, but it would never have occurred to us to go on a long trip without our kids. It didn't occur to my BILs who live close to my MIL and could have asked her to babysit. We want to spend time with our kids, OP. To each his own, but I confess I don't understand why people have kids if it's just to leave them at home while they off gallivanting.


You seriously can't conceive of a married couple wanting to spend time with just each other for a day or two? I feel sincerely sorry for your husband.


Save your sympathy, he would never think of leaving his kids. My own parents never left me to travel somewhere either, and that was a joint father/mother decision. My friends don't leave their kids either. We all travel with our children. What weirdo are you that you automatically think the man wants to leave his kids behind? Sexist much?


Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 08:58     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
How long is a longer trip? We might do an overnight without our kids, or maybe two, but neither of us has much desire for a lengthy trip without kids. Which is good, since our local family is unreliable and our reliable family is not local. We once had overlapping work trips and flew in said reliable family for the three days we were both away.

If you mean an overnight, hire a sitter. I used to do that for families I babysat for. Maybe two nights at the most. It is what it is.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 08:42     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We just don't go away as a couple. We have taken the kids on trips, but that's different. They are too young for a sleep-away camp, but this is definitely something that we may consider down the road.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 08:18     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Our parents live abroad, but it would never have occurred to us to go on a long trip without our kids. It didn't occur to my BILs who live close to my MIL and could have asked her to babysit. We want to spend time with our kids, OP. To each his own, but I confess I don't understand why people have kids if it's just to leave them at home while they off gallivanting.


You seriously can't conceive of a married couple wanting to spend time with just each other for a day or two? I feel sincerely sorry for your husband.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 08:16     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:Not that there’s anything wrong with going away without the kids but for plenty of people, probably the majority, it’s not really a financial choice.


Fixed it for you. Unless you're talking about people who genuinely cannot afford to go away at all, then people are making a choice to spend their money going away as a family instead of as a couple. I'm not saying that's the wrong choice, I'm just saying the whole "we can't afford it" scenario generally means you are choosing not to spend your money on it because you are spending the money elsewhere. Again, not a problem, but not really the issue.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 07:44     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Start using a regular babysitter who would be open to overnights, that way you establish trust and a relationship. I was a helper in the evenings in college and I would watch those kids on overnight trips if the parents were out of town.

Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 07:34     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We won't go away without the kids with some close relative like a grandparent, we just don't feel comfortable with that. For times when a grandparent wasn't available, we have 1) gone on International vacations, sometimes taking a grandparent us for date nights and 2) used sleep-away camp.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2019 06:16     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We only go away for one night at a time. Grandparents can handle that ok. If we go away for longer we take DD


Why don't you hire a sitter.

We love our kid.





If you REALLY loved her, you would nurture your marriage.


We do. Date night is perfect. We don’t need a vacation away, thank god our marriage is strong.


So, so smug. Lol.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 21:33     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We only go away for one night at a time. Grandparents can handle that ok. If we go away for longer we take DD


Why don't you hire a sitter.

We love our kid.





If you REALLY loved her, you would nurture your marriage.


We do. Date night is perfect. We don’t need a vacation away, thank god our marriage is strong.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 21:32     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We don’t have a lot of vacation time and what we have his family centric and I’m okay with that.