Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 09:50     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Anonymous wrote:Your body, your choice.

I’d probably try in your shoes just to know what it’s actually like vs what I think it’s going to be like. Hormonal breast tenderness (like what I get during my period) is a much different feeling than breastfeeding.

But regardless, just not wanting to is a good enough reason not to do it. Your DH needs to back you on this because it sounds like this could just be beginning of unsolicited parenting advice from his relatives. He needs to shut it down now.


Stop telling her to try. What? Is her baby going to die if she doesn't try!!! SHE. DOES. NOT. WANT. TO NURSE.!!!??
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 08:45     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Anonymous wrote:I am expecting a child ( gender unknown) on November 8. I have decided I don't want to breastfeed for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is I have a hormone disorder that has resulted in super tender breasts and nipples that feel as if they are bruised. It has become much worse since being pregnant, and I know it will be even worse if I breastfeed. I know it may seem selfish, but I feel its the best choice for myself and my child. My husband doesn't agree, and feels that I should at least give it a chance. He argues it's the healthiest - it is, but formula is just as good. He comes from a family with women who are big advocates for breastfeeding, and all have felt the need to give their unsolicited advice.

I'm starting to feel what should be a private and personal choice isn't. I feel I'm being made to feel guilty or bad about my decision. It's really hurtful that my own husband doesn't support me. His family is giving me breastfeeding supplies, even though I've asked them to stop. I'm very hurt and I don't know what to do.



I am sitting here with a cup of coffee, sitting across from my beautiful, smart, hysterically funny formula feed 3 year old. I am tearing up and not even going to bother reading the rest of the comments. I really hope mine will help you to see the best way forward.

Breastfeeding for the first 6 months is recommended...yeah, if it is a wonderful experience for everyone. With your situation it will simply not be a wonderful experience. But you know what will be? Holding your beautiful baby, holding him or her close to you and starring into their eyes as you feed. As far as your DH goes, you need to do what is best for your health and he needs to understand that. You IL's need to knock it off. Here is what I did with unwanted stuff. Large black tote in the closet with a lid. Crap goes in the tote and tote went to a family shelter.

Congratulations on your upcoming baby! Hang in there momma!
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 08:45     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. Formula is not as good as breastmilk.
2. Moot point because it’s your choice.
3. Keep an open mind but say whatever you need to keep everyone off your back.


Breastmilk benefits are way overstated. They are only minimal and reap no longterm benefits.

Man, the insecurity is real.


No insecurity for me. I think you're insecure that you got wrapped up in this " magical" illusion that breastmilk is somehow superior than formula. I've cared of numerous infants that were both breastfed and formula fed. Surprisingly, many of the breastfed kids were always sick, and had delay issues. I know that isn't the case with every breastfed baby though. The formula feds I cared for tended to get sick less often. I worked with two families where the EBF kids were much sicker than the formula fed kids. I've also worked with kids who couldn't gain weight on breastmilk, and had to have formula.

Studies have shown the benefits are overblown. There are no long term benefits. You can't tell which kid was breastfed or formula fed when they're in preschool. If you want to breastfeed, that is fine, but formula is an adequate alternative.


I have to agree. My kids are the sickest kids ever it seems, and I breastfed the first until 15 months, and the second until 12 months! Yeah, I’m a little bitter.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 08:13     Subject: Re:I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Dear OP,

I am sorry your family is making it so hard for you. My mom did not breastfeed me and I turned out just fine (healthy, ivy, advanced degree, etc). I hope you can talk to your husband about how his and his family's comments make you feel. There is nothing wrong with formula. Please don't let anyone guilt you into something that's not the right choice for you. Parenting is hard enough. Good luck on this journey!

Hugs.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 06:54     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
You absolutely don’t have to breastfeed. Your baby will grow and be healthy no matter how you feed him/her. I would not stock up on formula first, the hospital will send you home with some ready to feed bottles (2 oz, so perfect for a newborn), and my OB’s office usually has some formula samples out so maybe pick up a few of those if you can. There’s no telling if your baby will need a “sensitive” or a specialty formula or will be ok with regular formula, so you don’t want to waste a bunch of formula your baby ends up not being able to eat.

Oh and get a Baby Brezza - it’s awesome! It makes a perfectly mixed and warmed bottle in like 30 seconds. So helpful for the middle of the night.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 05:39     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Pp again. Oh and I myself was bottle fed as my mother got mastitis within 3 weeks of my birth and her milk dried up after they gave her medicine for it.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 05:38     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
OP. You and your baby will do great not breastfeeding. Your dh nees to be supportive of you and your body othwrwise it'll become very hard going forward with everything else you need to decide for the baby.
As far as focumla choice, I think ready to feed is recommended for newborns until some weeks and then you can switch to powdered kind (it's less sterile since you have to mix it).
The big plus of formula is that anyone can feed the baby. Your dh can take some night feedings and his family can come and feed the baby too on their visits (if that's ok with you)
I'm now nursing my second child and while I find it easy and not painful, it's brutal that I'm the only food source and can't wave her side for more than an hour in case she gets hungry (yes I can pump etc but not starting that until I have to).

Stop telling people your plan, hang in there in your pregnancy and enjoy the baby when she gets here.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 05:11     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Anonymous wrote:Your body, your choice.

Fed is best.


This +100.

I probably can't add much to what has been said, but here's a slightly different twist on "fed is best." I had to have a c-section with my 2nd baby b/c of severe complications. Normal delivery was out of the question. I spent a total of two weeks in the hospital and she spent a month in the NICU. Obviously a full-term, normal delivery without complications would have been optimal according to statistics and experts, but you know what?

At the end of the day there's a healthy, sweet nine year old on the planet, and her mother is alive to raise her.

It's just not going to matter in a couple of years and your husband needs to get on board.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 04:03     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. Formula is not as good as breastmilk.
2. Moot point because it’s your choice.
3. Keep an open mind but say whatever you need to keep everyone off your back.


Breastmilk benefits are way overstated. They are only minimal and reap no longterm benefits.

Man, the insecurity is real.


No insecurity for me. I think you're insecure that you got wrapped up in this " magical" illusion that breastmilk is somehow superior than formula. I've cared of numerous infants that were both breastfed and formula fed. Surprisingly, many of the breastfed kids were always sick, and had delay issues. I know that isn't the case with every breastfed baby though. The formula feds I cared for tended to get sick less often. I worked with two families where the EBF kids were much sicker than the formula fed kids. I've also worked with kids who couldn't gain weight on breastmilk, and had to have formula.

Studies have shown the benefits are overblown. There are no long term benefits. You can't tell which kid was breastfed or formula fed when they're in preschool. If you want to breastfeed, that is fine, but formula is an adequate alternative.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2019 01:09     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
OP, breastfeeding is not just good for your baby, there are health benefits for you too. That said, some people are unable to bf for many reasons - health conditions, not being able to produce milk, having had mastectomies, being the victim of sexual abuse or assault... there are many reasons. And it is good we have formula that is healthy now.

You don't have to bf if you can't. Your baby will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2019 23:43     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Tell your husband to go right ahead and breast feed then.

Oh, wait.....

Tell his family you've heard their opinions and aren't interested. Give back whatever supplies they have given.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2019 23:39     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
Your body, your choice.

I’d probably try in your shoes just to know what it’s actually like vs what I think it’s going to be like. Hormonal breast tenderness (like what I get during my period) is a much different feeling than breastfeeding.

But regardless, just not wanting to is a good enough reason not to do it. Your DH needs to back you on this because it sounds like this could just be beginning of unsolicited parenting advice from his relatives. He needs to shut it down now.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2019 23:36     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
You are the only one who has a vote on this.
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2019 23:23     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
discovermagazine.com/1995/feb/fathersmilk468
Anonymous
Post 10/06/2019 23:09     Subject: I Don't Want To Breastfeed..
1. Normal boobs. Nursing hurt like a b!tch for a couple of days, then was AWESOME. Recommend 10/10.

2. Wasn't breastfed. Love my mom. Super bonded. Have Harvard PhD.

Whatever you do will be PERFECT!!!!!