Anonymous wrote:We are in the tightest labor market the world has ever seen.

If someone doesn't have a job after a year, it is because they do not want one.

If I were you, I would start thinking about harvesting this guy's organs, because that may be all he is good for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!

But doesn't the SAHP usually grocery shop? Do the laundry? Drop off the dry cleaning? I SAH with four kids, and I normally do all of that. Sometimes DH goes to the dry cleaner himself, and he is definitely willing to throw in a load of laundry or pick up something at the grocery store, but I think it's pretty common for the SAHP to take care of most household admin tasks.

There are definitely many posts by SAHMs on here about how overwhelmed they are, they can barely find time to shower, they are struggling with running around all day after a 1 year old and keeping them safe and just can't get everything done. If they told us their husband has a list of things he wants done and they just can't get to it - I doubt people would be telling her to shape up and just get done whatever it is her husband wants done around the house - that depressed or overwhelmed or not, she is expected to run around after the kid all day, get all the household work done, fulfill her husbands list of things like getting the lawn mowed and oh - she should also be job hunting and going on interviews and getting a job while doing this too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!

Employment is defined as "the state of having paid work". A SAHM is a mother. She is unemployed. Being a SAHM is simply a lifestyle choice.

If you actually read anything the OP posted you would see that even though her husband is unemployed he is not doing anything in the household. A SAHM typically takes care of the household duties. If the husband wants to be a SAHP then he should be taking care of household duties.

OP your husband is maybe depressed however this is grossly unfair that you have to work full time and take care of the entire household as well. I would be sitting down and having one hell of a conversation with your husband. It's time he picked up the slack or goes to see a doctor for a check up.

Anonymous wrote:I work. my wife stays at home. If she was like your DH and not getting the domestic stuff done, I would be pissed she wasn't pulling her weight. There can be tough days with a one year old but not every day.

Also, the SAHD role almost never works and this is why. Even when done well, women look at him as unemployed.

My husband is currently unemployed, and has been for over a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!

But doesn't the SAHP usually grocery shop? Do the laundry? Drop off the dry cleaning? I SAH with four kids, and I normally do all of that. Sometimes DH goes to the dry cleaner himself, and he is definitely willing to throw in a load of laundry or pick up something at the grocery store, but I think it's pretty common for the SAHP to take care of most household admin tasks.

+1. DH would have probably been annoyed if I watched the kids but did literally nothing else and demanded two hours (!!!) of daily alone time. Ha! Two hours a week maybe.

Anonymous wrote:

I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!

But doesn't the SAHP usually grocery shop? Do the laundry? Drop off the dry cleaning? I SAH with four kids, and I normally do all of that. Sometimes DH goes to the dry cleaner himself, and he is definitely willing to throw in a load of laundry or pick up something at the grocery store, but I think it's pretty common for the SAHP to take care of most household admin tasks.

Anonymous wrote:

I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!

But doesn't the SAHP usually grocery shop? Do the laundry? Drop off the dry cleaning? I SAH with four kids, and I normally do all of that. Sometimes DH goes to the dry cleaner himself, and he is definitely willing to throw in a load of laundry or pick up something at the grocery store, but I think it's pretty common for the SAHP to take care of most household admin tasks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many hours? From the second the kids are awake until they go to sleep. DH and I are both equally caring for them, cooking, cleaning, errands... There is no free time. I do go to dinner with my friends once a week and we have a date night once a week. This was what we wanted when we chose to have kids though. I LOVE being around my kids.

This is us too. There's a set of tasks that have to be completed every day (dressing kids, feeding kids, cleaning up after kids, etc.) and we just do the stuff that needs to be done until the kids are in bed.

When DW and I took our respective parental leaves it is true that the at home parent wanted a break from watching the child when the other got home. However, it was only a break from watching the child, the at home parent would do other stuff such as cooking dinner, folding laundry or whatever else until the tasks were done.

I am pretty sure if we referred to a SAHM as unemployed all h*ll would break lose here.

Your husband is a full time parent.

70 hours a week of commuting, work, parenting and household tasks isn't much. That is 10 hours a day.

Your husband sounds depressed and you don't appreciate what he does or brings to the home. You sound so resentful that he wants a break after you get home. Again if genders were reversed and a man was complaining that not only did his wife expect a break but he also was still having to cut the lawn and take out the garbage because his SAHM wife wasn't getting it done..

Sounds like you are living a pretty typical life ina home where one parent is the breadwinner and te other is a sahp. Millions of men could write your post!