Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

Here's the thing. This issue was addressed directly on page one of this thread by a poster offering this bit of advice for new managers:

Never, ever engage in team gossip. You will have access to info about rosters, starters, tryouts sooner than anyone else. Keep confidential info confidential and release dates/rosters etc. to all families at the same time. When parents come to you to complain about playing time, coaching, roster size, etc., immediately direct them to the coaching staff. Engage other parents to help when you can - field set up, team photos, field marshal duty at tournaments, travel and tournaments, social/tailgate coordination (for between games at tournaments), etc.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/825968.page#top

This manager violated the team trust by providing both the gossip and failing to let the parent deal with the coach directly on their own terms.

The manager did not violate any team trust, no information about rosters, starters, tryouts, release dates, or other confidential team information was shared.

The manager also directed the parent to talk to the coach.

Your issue seems to be the manager shared something another parent told them. Why would you expect the manager to hold that in confidence? It isn’t team information, it’s one parent that is unhappy with something the coach did or didn’t do. It actually seems reasonable to share that with other parents who might share the same feeling. The manager is a parent too and not a club employee.

Yes, that is gossip. It was shared. Because a good manager should keep things that are essentially between a coach and another parent to them-self. This was not intended for other parents. The parent was directed to talk to the coach about the issue as the manager has no control over the situation. It is then up to the parent to escalate the issue to the coach or to the club if THEY so desire. The conversation should never have been shared with the other parents on the team at all. In fact to do so, simply creates greater divisiveness that the coach will not be able to control. Having parents talk about each other both on the sideline and here in an online forum goes a long way to taking a bad situation and making it more toxic.

The manager should have kept the conversation to herself and let the parent do what they needed to do on their own.

The parent can still do what they want on their own. Would this situation be different if the manager was just another parent and not “team manager”?

I fail to see how discussion on an anonymous forum with strangers is making that situation more toxic.

So your issue is parents gossip and talk to each other on the sideline. Sorry, that’s not going to change. People gossip, and there is a difference between, “Did you hear what Larla’s mom said? Omg! Can you believe she is so awful!? She needs to find a new team!” Versus “is anyone else concerned about the coach doing X? I was talking to Larla’s mom and she was frustrated too.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

Here's the thing. This issue was addressed directly on page one of this thread by a poster offering this bit of advice for new managers:

Never, ever engage in team gossip. You will have access to info about rosters, starters, tryouts sooner than anyone else. Keep confidential info confidential and release dates/rosters etc. to all families at the same time. When parents come to you to complain about playing time, coaching, roster size, etc., immediately direct them to the coaching staff. Engage other parents to help when you can - field set up, team photos, field marshal duty at tournaments, travel and tournaments, social/tailgate coordination (for between games at tournaments), etc.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/825968.page#top

This manager violated the team trust by providing both the gossip and failing to let the parent deal with the coach directly on their own terms.

The manager did not violate any team trust, no information about rosters, starters, tryouts, release dates, or other confidential team information was shared.

The manager also directed the parent to talk to the coach.

Your issue seems to be the manager shared something another parent told them. Why would you expect the manager to hold that in confidence? It isn’t team information, it’s one parent that is unhappy with something the coach did or didn’t do. It actually seems reasonable to share that with other parents who might share the same feeling. The manager is a parent too and not a club employee.

Yes, that is gossip. It was shared. Because a good manager should keep things that are essentially between a coach and another parent to them-self. This was not intended for other parents. The parent was directed to talk to the coach about the issue as the manager has no control over the situation. It is then up to the parent to escalate the issue to the coach or to the club if THEY so desire. The conversation should never have been shared with the other parents on the team at all. In fact to do so, simply creates greater divisiveness that the coach will not be able to control. Having parents talk about each other both on the sideline and here in an online forum goes a long way to taking a bad situation and making it more toxic.

The manager should have kept the conversation to herself and let the parent do what they needed to do on their own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

Here's the thing. This issue was addressed directly on page one of this thread by a poster offering this bit of advice for new managers:

Never, ever engage in team gossip. You will have access to info about rosters, starters, tryouts sooner than anyone else. Keep confidential info confidential and release dates/rosters etc. to all families at the same time. When parents come to you to complain about playing time, coaching, roster size, etc., immediately direct them to the coaching staff. Engage other parents to help when you can - field set up, team photos, field marshal duty at tournaments, travel and tournaments, social/tailgate coordination (for between games at tournaments), etc.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/825968.page#top

This manager violated the team trust by providing both the gossip and failing to let the parent deal with the coach directly on their own terms.

The manager did not violate any team trust, no information about rosters, starters, tryouts, release dates, or other confidential team information was shared.

The manager also directed the parent to talk to the coach.

Your issue seems to be the manager shared something another parent told them. Why would you expect the manager to hold that in confidence? It isn’t team information, it’s one parent that is unhappy with something the coach did or didn’t do. It actually seems reasonable to share that with other parents who might share the same feeling. The manager is a parent too and not a club employee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

Here's the thing. This issue was addressed directly on page one of this thread by a poster offering this bit of advice for new managers:

Never, ever engage in team gossip. You will have access to info about rosters, starters, tryouts sooner than anyone else. Keep confidential info confidential and release dates/rosters etc. to all families at the same time. When parents come to you to complain about playing time, coaching, roster size, etc., immediately direct them to the coaching staff. Engage other parents to help when you can - field set up, team photos, field marshal duty at tournaments, travel and tournaments, social/tailgate coordination (for between games at tournaments), etc.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/825968.page#top

This manager violated the team trust by providing both the gossip and failing to let the parent deal with the coach directly on their own terms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

The manager is simply acting as a gossip. Now your team knows, so don't share anything with her believing it will be kept in confidence. The manger didn't break any rules of confidentiality. The manager told the parent one thing and then did the other. And then on top of it the manager shared the entire episode with the entire team.

It isn't the managers responsibility to handle this parents complaint at all. The manager told the parent to deal with the coach directly (Which was the correct thing to do), implying that the manager would not get involved. The manager then went ahead and shared the conversation as well as the email with the coach when the parent was essentially told to handle the matter themselves. The parent may have been willing to drop the matter but the manager elevated the discussion when she implied that she would not do so.

It wouldn't matter if the parent had a change of heart because the manager robbed the parent of pursuing the matter on their own. But, simply because parents on the team do not happen to like the parent this breach of parent driven protocol is applauded simply because the parent is disliked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Here is the thing. If you put something in an email like that, you can't expect it to be private unless you mark it "confidential," and even then there is no guarantee. If the parent was so concerned about confidentiality, she should have had a conversation with the manager and told her it is in confidence. Even then, that is expecting way too much of the manager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of a soccer manager where one parent contacted her about getting some alternative coaching for the players and essentially complaining about the current coach's style. Something to the effect like, "the girls need be brought to the next level and I don't think Coach Larla is the one who can bring them there."

The manager responded by saying that she should reach out to the coach if she has any concerns about coaching. Then during a conversation with the coach, the manager mentioned the email and the coach asked her to forward it, which she did. When the parent found out, she was furious with the manager for breaking the confidence. Thing is, there is no assumed confidence in emails between parents and the manager. Besides, that parent is a complete pita and I would love to see her find another team. But this team is just too convenient for her logistically, and she is too selfish to make a sacrifice for her daughter. Pathetic woman!!

So the manger told the parent to reach out to the coach directly with these concerns and then the manager told the coach anyway?

The manager was right to say take it directly to the coach but was not in the right to also share the info with the coach after the fact. The coach has no claim to the email. The manager is not a club employee and as stated earlier in this thread volunteers for the team NOT the coach.

Actually, the manager does have every right to forward an email to the coach at her discretion. Especially in a situation where the parent clearly is trying to undermine the coach. It is not the manager's job to protect a parent from a coach finding out she wants to fire him. She was foolish to share that information with the manager. She is free to leave whenever she wants. And I and other parents on the team are very happy with the coach. This parent is a problem parent for many many reasons, and this is just one of them. She is a trouble maker, and the manager wanted to stop her in her tracks.

No they don't. The parent is a customer. The manager has no role in regards to whether parents are happy with the club or coach. The manager should simply encourage the parent to talk with the coach directly and remind the parent that the manager has no say in these matters. It is not the managers job or responsibility to be a nark. Can't have it both ways. You can't tell the parent to talk to the coach directly about it and then go behind the parents back and control the parents narrative on the subject.

The manager was totally in the wrong.

I still disagree. The manager can do as she pleases. Afterall, she is a volunteer and there is nothing in her job description that specifies she works for the parents. She is more of a liaison between coach and parents as well as financial manager and coordinator for the team. It is not the job of the manager to deal with crazy parents who should have long been kicked off the team. By exposing the parent's email to the coach, she is making it easier for the coach to decide what is best for the team...and that very well may be suggesting the parent find another team. That is really what needs to happen. The manager has no obligation to protect the player or parent, who happens to be a nutcase. You are only hearing about one of many many disruptive incidents that this parent has caused.

No it isn't her job to deal with crazy parents. All she needed to say was, talk to the coach. End of story. Just because you and the other parents happen to dislike the one parent you think it is ok. It isn't ok. Let the disgruntled parent and the coach sort it out. If you have problems with the parent yourself you may also feel free to talk with the coach. That is how it works.

The fact that the manager basically said, "not my job so go and talk to the coach" and then went and poked her nose in it anyways tells me she would do the same thing to you if you expressed a disagreement about the coach. The parent may be a pain in the ass but now the manager can't be trusted by parents. You understand this now right? The manager didn't side with the team, she sided with the coach. I certainly hope you don't over share with her after a difficult loss.

LOL, I think you are that parent afterall. You sound just like her. Why don't you just go find a new team!!

Just because someone is disagreeable does not mean that they are wrong. The team manager lied to the parent, she told the parent to do one thing and then did what she wanted to do anyway. And the fact that the manager apparently has gossiped about the matter with the entire team. That is real nice in and of itself. You have a real peach of a team manger.

As a team manager you cannot say "It's not my job to deal with crazy parents" and then go and do exactly that, all the while being a gossip to boot. These are things that are not he team mangers job.

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

If the parent wanted the coach to know directly the parent would have emailed the coach directly.

How is it possible for a group of adults, most of home have college degrees and work as professionals act like gossipy high school kids over this kind of stuff? If this was a work setting it would be handled very differently. Complainants are always to be directed to the person they have the grievance with. The team manager has no role or say in any portion of the outcome and should also have no role sharing anything with the coach unless the parent actually approaches the coach.

Perhaps the parent changed their mind after thinking it over. Perhaps they were planning to talk with the TD of the club. Perhaps there are other issues not shared with the manager that may have been valid but have now been tainted because the manager over stepped their bounds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of a soccer manager where one parent contacted her about getting some alternative coaching for the players and essentially complaining about the current coach's style. Something to the effect like, "the girls need be brought to the next level and I don't think Coach Larla is the one who can bring them there."

The manager responded by saying that she should reach out to the coach if she has any concerns about coaching. Then during a conversation with the coach, the manager mentioned the email and the coach asked her to forward it, which she did. When the parent found out, she was furious with the manager for breaking the confidence. Thing is, there is no assumed confidence in emails between parents and the manager. Besides, that parent is a complete pita and I would love to see her find another team. But this team is just too convenient for her logistically, and she is too selfish to make a sacrifice for her daughter. Pathetic woman!!

So the manger told the parent to reach out to the coach directly with these concerns and then the manager told the coach anyway?

The manager was right to say take it directly to the coach but was not in the right to also share the info with the coach after the fact. The coach has no claim to the email. The manager is not a club employee and as stated earlier in this thread volunteers for the team NOT the coach.

Actually, the manager does have every right to forward an email to the coach at her discretion. Especially in a situation where the parent clearly is trying to undermine the coach. It is not the manager's job to protect a parent from a coach finding out she wants to fire him. She was foolish to share that information with the manager. She is free to leave whenever she wants. And I and other parents on the team are very happy with the coach. This parent is a problem parent for many many reasons, and this is just one of them. She is a trouble maker, and the manager wanted to stop her in her tracks.

No they don't. The parent is a customer. The manager has no role in regards to whether parents are happy with the club or coach. The manager should simply encourage the parent to talk with the coach directly and remind the parent that the manager has no say in these matters. It is not the managers job or responsibility to be a nark. Can't have it both ways. You can't tell the parent to talk to the coach directly about it and then go behind the parents back and control the parents narrative on the subject.

The manager was totally in the wrong.

I still disagree. The manager can do as she pleases. Afterall, she is a volunteer and there is nothing in her job description that specifies she works for the parents. She is more of a liaison between coach and parents as well as financial manager and coordinator for the team. It is not the job of the manager to deal with crazy parents who should have long been kicked off the team. By exposing the parent's email to the coach, she is making it easier for the coach to decide what is best for the team...and that very well may be suggesting the parent find another team. That is really what needs to happen. The manager has no obligation to protect the player or parent, who happens to be a nutcase. You are only hearing about one of many many disruptive incidents that this parent has caused.

No it isn't her job to deal with crazy parents. All she needed to say was, talk to the coach. End of story. Just because you and the other parents happen to dislike the one parent you think it is ok. It isn't ok. Let the disgruntled parent and the coach sort it out. If you have problems with the parent yourself you may also feel free to talk with the coach. That is how it works.

The fact that the manager basically said, "not my job so go and talk to the coach" and then went and poked her nose in it anyways tells me she would do the same thing to you if you expressed a disagreement about the coach. The parent may be a pain in the ass but now the manager can't be trusted by parents. You understand this now right? The manager didn't side with the team, she sided with the coach. I certainly hope you don't over share with her after a difficult loss.

LOL, I think you are that parent afterall. You sound just like her. Why don't you just go find a new team!!

Anonymous wrote:If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

x10000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of a soccer manager where one parent contacted her about getting some alternative coaching for the players and essentially complaining about the current coach's style. Something to the effect like, "the girls need be brought to the next level and I don't think Coach Larla is the one who can bring them there."

The manager responded by saying that she should reach out to the coach if she has any concerns about coaching. Then during a conversation with the coach, the manager mentioned the email and the coach asked her to forward it, which she did. When the parent found out, she was furious with the manager for breaking the confidence. Thing is, there is no assumed confidence in emails between parents and the manager. Besides, that parent is a complete pita and I would love to see her find another team. But this team is just too convenient for her logistically, and she is too selfish to make a sacrifice for her daughter. Pathetic woman!!

So the manger told the parent to reach out to the coach directly with these concerns and then the manager told the coach anyway?

The manager was right to say take it directly to the coach but was not in the right to also share the info with the coach after the fact. The coach has no claim to the email. The manager is not a club employee and as stated earlier in this thread volunteers for the team NOT the coach.

Actually, the manager does have every right to forward an email to the coach at her discretion. Especially in a situation where the parent clearly is trying to undermine the coach. It is not the manager's job to protect a parent from a coach finding out she wants to fire him. She was foolish to share that information with the manager. She is free to leave whenever she wants. And I and other parents on the team are very happy with the coach. This parent is a problem parent for many many reasons, and this is just one of them. She is a trouble maker, and the manager wanted to stop her in her tracks.

No they don't. The parent is a customer. The manager has no role in regards to whether parents are happy with the club or coach. The manager should simply encourage the parent to talk with the coach directly and remind the parent that the manager has no say in these matters. It is not the managers job or responsibility to be a nark. Can't have it both ways. You can't tell the parent to talk to the coach directly about it and then go behind the parents back and control the parents narrative on the subject.

The manager was totally in the wrong.

I still disagree. The manager can do as she pleases. Afterall, she is a volunteer and there is nothing in her job description that specifies she works for the parents. She is more of a liaison between coach and parents as well as financial manager and coordinator for the team. It is not the job of the manager to deal with crazy parents who should have long been kicked off the team. By exposing the parent's email to the coach, she is making it easier for the coach to decide what is best for the team...and that very well may be suggesting the parent find another team. That is really what needs to happen. The manager has no obligation to protect the player or parent, who happens to be a nutcase. You are only hearing about one of many many disruptive incidents that this parent has caused.

No it isn't her job to deal with crazy parents. All she needed to say was, talk to the coach. End of story. Just because you and the other parents happen to dislike the one parent you think it is ok. It isn't ok. Let the disgruntled parent and the coach sort it out. If you have problems with the parent yourself you may also feel free to talk with the coach. That is how it works.

The fact that the manager basically said, "not my job so go and talk to the coach" and then went and poked her nose in it anyways tells me she would do the same thing to you if you expressed a disagreement about the coach. The parent may be a pain in the ass but now the manager can't be trusted by parents. You understand this now right? The manager didn't side with the team, she sided with the coach. I certainly hope you don't over share with her after a difficult loss.

If that parent didn’t want the manager to tell the coach she should have said so. If you are going to complain about the coach don’t be surprised when those complaints make it to the coach.

^yup

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of a soccer manager where one parent contacted her about getting some alternative coaching for the players and essentially complaining about the current coach's style. Something to the effect like, "the girls need be brought to the next level and I don't think Coach Larla is the one who can bring them there."

The manager responded by saying that she should reach out to the coach if she has any concerns about coaching. Then during a conversation with the coach, the manager mentioned the email and the coach asked her to forward it, which she did. When the parent found out, she was furious with the manager for breaking the confidence. Thing is, there is no assumed confidence in emails between parents and the manager. Besides, that parent is a complete pita and I would love to see her find another team. But this team is just too convenient for her logistically, and she is too selfish to make a sacrifice for her daughter. Pathetic woman!!

So the manger told the parent to reach out to the coach directly with these concerns and then the manager told the coach anyway?

The manager was right to say take it directly to the coach but was not in the right to also share the info with the coach after the fact. The coach has no claim to the email. The manager is not a club employee and as stated earlier in this thread volunteers for the team NOT the coach.

Actually, the manager does have every right to forward an email to the coach at her discretion. Especially in a situation where the parent clearly is trying to undermine the coach. It is not the manager's job to protect a parent from a coach finding out she wants to fire him. She was foolish to share that information with the manager. She is free to leave whenever she wants. And I and other parents on the team are very happy with the coach. This parent is a problem parent for many many reasons, and this is just one of them. She is a trouble maker, and the manager wanted to stop her in her tracks.

No they don't. The parent is a customer. The manager has no role in regards to whether parents are happy with the club or coach. The manager should simply encourage the parent to talk with the coach directly and remind the parent that the manager has no say in these matters. It is not the managers job or responsibility to be a nark. Can't have it both ways. You can't tell the parent to talk to the coach directly about it and then go behind the parents back and control the parents narrative on the subject.

The manager was totally in the wrong.

Hey, I'll bet any money the PP here is on of "those" parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know of a soccer manager where one parent contacted her about getting some alternative coaching for the players and essentially complaining about the current coach's style. Something to the effect like, "the girls need be brought to the next level and I don't think Coach Larla is the one who can bring them there."

The manager responded by saying that she should reach out to the coach if she has any concerns about coaching. Then during a conversation with the coach, the manager mentioned the email and the coach asked her to forward it, which she did. When the parent found out, she was furious with the manager for breaking the confidence. Thing is, there is no assumed confidence in emails between parents and the manager. Besides, that parent is a complete pita and I would love to see her find another team. But this team is just too convenient for her logistically, and she is too selfish to make a sacrifice for her daughter. Pathetic woman!!

So the manger told the parent to reach out to the coach directly with these concerns and then the manager told the coach anyway?

The manager was right to say take it directly to the coach but was not in the right to also share the info with the coach after the fact. The coach has no claim to the email. The manager is not a club employee and as stated earlier in this thread volunteers for the team NOT the coach.

Actually, the manager does have every right to forward an email to the coach at her discretion. Especially in a situation where the parent clearly is trying to undermine the coach. It is not the manager's job to protect a parent from a coach finding out she wants to fire him. She was foolish to share that information with the manager. She is free to leave whenever she wants. And I and other parents on the team are very happy with the coach. This parent is a problem parent for many many reasons, and this is just one of them. She is a trouble maker, and the manager wanted to stop her in her tracks.

No they don't. The parent is a customer. The manager has no role in regards to whether parents are happy with the club or coach. The manager should simply encourage the parent to talk with the coach directly and remind the parent that the manager has no say in these matters. It is not the managers job or responsibility to be a nark. Can't have it both ways. You can't tell the parent to talk to the coach directly about it and then go behind the parents back and control the parents narrative on the subject.

The manager was totally in the wrong.

I still disagree. The manager can do as she pleases. Afterall, she is a volunteer and there is nothing in her job description that specifies she works for the parents. She is more of a liaison between coach and parents as well as financial manager and coordinator for the team. It is not the job of the manager to deal with crazy parents who should have long been kicked off the team. By exposing the parent's email to the coach, she is making it easier for the coach to decide what is best for the team...and that very well may be suggesting the parent find another team. That is really what needs to happen. The manager has no obligation to protect the player or parent, who happens to be a nutcase. You are only hearing about one of many many disruptive incidents that this parent has caused.