Anonymous
08/15/2019 12:48
Subject: People still do this?
Since I had my daughter 5 years ago, I have carried all wieght in my stomach. I mean - DAILY I have people insisting, demanding, that I am pregnant. I have been TTC for 5 years now, and nothing - It's so annoying
Anonymous
08/15/2019 11:28
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A woman went up to my DD and said—oh you are going to have a baby brother or sister soon!” I told her no and I recently miscarried. Now DD is crying because she thought there was going to be a baby. People. Bite.yoyr. Tongue
Look. I’m sorry that you miscarried, but (assuming that you had an obvious baby bump) this woman was innocently excited for your family, and trying to say a nice thing. People get excited for others about babies. If this had happened to me, I would not be upset with the woman. Sure, it might have made me a little sad, but it would be clear to me that her intentions were nothing but good.
God. If we turn into a society in which we deny innocent and good-natured impulses in favor of always biting our tongues, we’re all going to end up just going about life alone and with our heads down.
Cut people a break sometimes, especially when they’re trying to create a small moment of joy for you or your kid.
You think that back in the good old days when people weren’t so sensitive that it was okay to walk up to a stranger and comment on their pregnancy? No way.
Why do you need to comment on people’s bodies? Why do you think that should be encouraged?
I’m the one you quoted. I’m not saying that the woman did the right thing. She shouldn’t have said what she said. But the reality is that her intentions were innocent, and she was just trying to be friendly. And I think that you have to cut people slack sometimes when that’s the case.
Also, the woman did not comment on the OP’s body. Not at all. She picked up a visual cue about something that indicated a pregnancy, and tried to make what she probably thought was a nice comment. It was not a comment on the OP’s body. And she meant no harm.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 11:24
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A woman went up to my DD and said—oh you are going to have a baby brother or sister soon!” I told her no and I recently miscarried. Now DD is crying because she thought there was going to be a baby. People. Bite.yoyr. Tongue
Look. I’m sorry that you miscarried, but (assuming that you had an obvious baby bump) this woman was innocently excited for your family, and trying to say a nice thing. People get excited for others about babies. If this had happened to me, I would not be upset with the woman. Sure, it might have made me a little sad, but it would be clear to me that her intentions were nothing but good.
God. If we turn into a society in which we deny innocent and good-natured impulses in favor of always biting our tongues, we’re all going to end up just going about life alone and with our heads down.
Cut people a break sometimes, especially when they’re trying to create a small moment of joy for you or your kid.
You think that back in the good old days when people weren’t so sensitive that it was okay to walk up to a stranger and comment on their pregnancy? No way.
Why do you need to comment on people’s bodies? Why do you think that should be encouraged?
Anonymous
08/15/2019 11:20
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:P.S. other cultures aren’t as touchy as us about these things and have different standards. So if the woman was not an American, that’s something else to consider.
I’ve worked as a midwife all over the world. Women do grieve baby losses. They are just silenced. And they tell me
I’m the poster you quoted. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was, there are different norms in other cultures with respect to the idea of approaching a stranger and commenting on what you assume is her pregnancy. I could see what happened to the OP happening to me in my husband’s home country. There are just different ideas about what is acceptable.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 10:17
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.
Shove off, vicious troll
Anonymous
08/15/2019 10:17
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:I’m the one with the hyst at age 30. What I don’t understand is why can’t others just find something else to talk about? Why does it have to be about what may or may not be happening in someone’s uterus? And why is it so upsetting if we ask others to sit be courteous?
Because people think they have some right to say whatever they want and they are inconvenienced otherwise. Entitlement of our culture
Anonymous
08/15/2019 10:15
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:P.S. other cultures aren’t as touchy as us about these things and have different standards. So if the woman was not an American, that’s something else to consider.
I’ve worked as a midwife all over the world. Women do grieve baby losses. They are just silenced. And they tell me
Anonymous
08/15/2019 10:14
Subject: People still do this?
These stories are cute, but you didn’t lose a baby.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 09:06
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Cut people a break sometimes, especially when they’re trying to create a small moment of joy for you or your kid.
Well that certainly backfired, didn't it?
??
Anonymous
08/15/2019 09:03
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Cut people a break sometimes, especially when they’re trying to create a small moment of joy for you or your kid.
Well that certainly backfired, didn't it?
Anonymous
08/15/2019 08:59
Subject: People still do this?
When I was (obviously) pregnant with my first, a small, middle-aged woman approached me outside of a grocery store entrance and, smiling kindly and without asking permission, gently placed her hands on my stomach and softly recited what I assume (hope?) was a prayer in a language that I didn’t understand.
It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.
And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.
It was a bit strange (and of course, inappropriate for her to have taken that liberty), but I tried not to let it upset me.
And my first-born is a delightful, healthy, sweet child, so maybe it was a nice little prayer.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 08:34
Subject: People still do this?
P.S. other cultures aren’t as touchy as us about these things and have different standards. So if the woman was not an American, that’s something else to consider.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 08:32
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:A woman went up to my DD and said—oh you are going to have a baby brother or sister soon!” I told her no and I recently miscarried. Now DD is crying because she thought there was going to be a baby. People. Bite.yoyr. Tongue
Look. I’m sorry that you miscarried, but (assuming that you had an obvious baby bump) this woman was innocently excited for your family, and trying to say a nice thing. People get excited for others about babies. If this had happened to me, I would not be upset with the woman. Sure, it might have made me a little sad, but it would be clear to me that her intentions were nothing but good.
God. If we turn into a society in which we deny innocent and good-natured impulses in favor of always biting our tongues, we’re all going to end up just going about life alone and with our heads down.
Cut people a break sometimes, especially when they’re trying to create a small moment of joy for you or your kid.
Anonymous
08/15/2019 08:22
Subject: People still do this?
I’m the one with the hyst at age 30. What I don’t understand is why can’t others just find something else to talk about? Why does it have to be about what may or may not be happening in someone’s uterus? And why is it so upsetting if we ask others to sit be courteous?
Anonymous
08/15/2019 00:07
Subject: People still do this?
Anonymous wrote:This is a rule. Never ever comment about someone being pregnant until they mention it. It doesn’t matter how pregnant they look.
Yes, exactly. Even if they are super obviously pregnant, even if it's awkward, just don't say anything.