Anonymous wrote:Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

Grow up OP.

Anonymous wrote:Our best friend is planning a 40th birthday trip to California Labor Day 2020. They’re renting a house and need a headcount ASAP. We really want to go- we love this group of friends and have been close since high school and have stayed close despite being spread out over the country, through deaths, divorces, and illness, all of which makes celebrating milestones like this even more special.

BUT—Our DS (our only kid) will be starting Kindergarten around that time. MCPS hasn’t announced 2020 start dates yet, but would presumably be Sept 8, the Tuesday after Labor Day. Grandparents could watch him while we’re gone. It would be a 4 or 5 day trip thurs or fri to mon.

Would you commit to go on this trip? Does your answer change if school starts Aug 31 vs Sept 8?

No. Just no.

Why don’t you just fly back on Monday?

Anonymous wrote:I would not be gone for the actual first day of school but if you are talking about leaving later that week or getting home the night before I would.

This.

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't miss the first day of kindergarten. It's a big milestone or your child (and for you).

+1,000,000! I can’t imagine missing this HUGE milestone for a friend’s 40th birthday! There will be other trips. But there will never be another first day of Kindergarten. I can’t believe you ar even considering this.

+1

We are always there for the first day and our kids are in high school now.

Anonymous wrote:Our best friend is planning a 40th birthday trip to California Labor Day 2020. They’re renting a house and need a headcount ASAP. We really want to go- we love this group of friends and have been close since high school and have stayed close despite being spread out over the country, through deaths, divorces, and illness, all of which makes celebrating milestones like this even more special.

BUT—Our DS (our only kid) will be starting Kindergarten around that time. MCPS hasn’t announced 2020 start dates yet, but would presumably be Sept 8, the Tuesday after Labor Day. Grandparents could watch him while we’re gone. It would be a 4 or 5 day trip thurs or fri to mon.

Would you commit to go on this trip? Does your answer change if school starts Aug 31 vs Sept 8?

I would be sad to not be there to drop off my DD to her first day of kindergarten at “big school” and especially her first day! Don’t you want the memory of walking her in her class, getting her settled into her seat, seeing the first moments of her starting school with her teacher, and seeing where she sits? It’s kind of a big change for them and it would be nice for you to be there to settle them in so that they have a nice transition. Of course your child will be fine and survive without it, I just think it would be nice for your child if you were excited and gave them a nice transition from home to school/pickup at least the first day! Also, it may hit you emotionally really much harder than you are expecting. I was surprised how hard it hit me when my last DD started kindergarten and since this is your one and only, I would assume something similar. Bottom line, I wouldn’t but that is just my 2 cents.

Yes. It sounds like you won't even miss the first day of school? You said the trip would be Thurs/ Friday to Monday. So if school starts the Tuesday after Labor Day, you would be back. And if it starts the Monday before, you would be there, too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it totally depends on how your school works. For us (in FCPS), there are several K playdates over the summer, and then an open house the Thursday or Friday before school begins where the kids get to meet their teacher, see their classroom, and meet other kids. If your school is like this, and you would be able to do the playdates and open house, I would absolutely go on the trip. You can pick out clothes and backpack and lunch for the first day before you leave, have your parents take a first day picture, and then Facetime after to see how it went.

I know I'm a bit weird when it comes to things like this, but I also recognize that kids don't remember one-off things like this if you make it to most things. And I would be very surprised if your child, a few years from now, even remembered that you weren't there for the first day (if you were there for all the lead-up).

I didn’t realize that parents were allowed to stay until snack that first day. I escorted to the classroom door, gave a kiss, promised to be back at noon and left. Twenty years later mine remembers I was the only parent who left although I made it to everything else until grade 4.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

According to some threads in the Maryland school forum we should know by October or November when they’ve set their calendar for next year.

I'd argue that the start of kindergarten is a bigger milestone than 40th birthday. I hope you can make this work, OP, because I get why it would be great to see these friends, but I feel they should not have put you in this situation and just suggested a weekend not so close to the start of school. Even one weekend later would be better, and it will still be warm. Yes, it might be the actual birthday or as close to the actual birthday as their first choice, but who cares?

Only did post Labor Day this because of the stupid Hogan rule, and that got overturned.
Look at previous school calendar years, and you should get a sense of when they are likely to start.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't miss the first week of school. My kid would be a tired mess with a lot of emotions to get out that week and it wouldn't be fair to him or the grandparents to leave them to deal with it.

First week of K (we have full day here) tends to be exhausting, even for kids who did extended day preschool or full day preschool.

+1.

+2. I would never miss the milestone of the first day, for one thing.

Even for my kids who had "junior K" preschool, that extended full day some days of the week, were absolutely exhausted and overstimulated the first week of full day K, inspiring meltdowns and acting out. I wouldn't want to put that on a grandparent.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it totally depends on how your school works. For us (in FCPS), there are several K playdates over the summer, and then an open house the Thursday or Friday before school begins where the kids get to meet their teacher, see their classroom, and meet other kids. If your school is like this, and you would be able to do the playdates and open house, I would absolutely go on the trip. You can pick out clothes and backpack and lunch for the first day before you leave, have your parents take a first day picture, and then Facetime after to see how it went.

I know I'm a bit weird when it comes to things like this, but I also recognize that kids don't remember one-off things like this if you make it to most things. And I would be very surprised if your child, a few years from now, even remembered that you weren't there for the first day (if you were there for all the lead-up).

I don't understand how she's missing the first day. She said she's going Friday to Labor Day. There is no way school will start any of those days

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't miss the first day of kindergarten. It's a big milestone or your child (and for you).

+1,000,000! I can’t imagine missing this HUGE milestone for a friend’s 40th birthday! There will be other trips. But there will never be another first day of Kindergarten. I can’t believe you ar even considering this.