Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Op here. I don’t know what to say to his denials. I have that woman’s big boobs from the photo plastered in my mind.

OP, what would you say if it was someone other than your DH? If you knew for a fact (which you do) that this person was lying to you? We can all give you advice but we are all different people with different personalities and beliefs. You have to do what feels right to you and right now, if you feel like you are in a state of shock, then perhaps you want to take a deep breath, take a step back and think. Is there somewhere you can go tonight and take the kids with you? If he is having a full on physical affair or if the sum total (so far) is that he's getting pics from some woman, letting him know that you aren't going to stand for either might wake him up to the fact that he's making choices that could have serious consequences. Just a suggestion. I don't like to see anyone (male or female) allow themselves to be treated without respect. I know you're probably scared and that's understandable but please breathe and don't rush into anything....

Anonymous wrote:“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

+1 I'm not going to become Inspector Gadget but I'm not putting up with it either.

“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Op here. I don’t know what to say to his denials. I have that woman’s big boobs from the photo plastered in my mind.

Why do the women in these photos always have big boobs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here who finds all these recommendations for extensive investigations or snooping to be exhausting? Who wants to live this way?

Either divorce him if the marriage sucks or accept that he like any other man may or may not have cheated. Let him know you saw what you saw, and you won't accept infidelity so if he is dumb enough to continue, the marriage will be over. If he loves you and wants to stay married, he will break off whatever he has done.

Life's too short to spend it investigating your spouse.

You're wrong. At this point she needs to find out what's going on. He won't tell her so she needs proof before she makes any type of decision. It could be a million things. Yes she should snoop, not stick her head in the sand. From there she can decide what she wants to do. No there's no accepting any man cheating, the man excuse card isn't going to fly.

No; it can’t be “anything.” The choice to lie now says everything.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here who finds all these recommendations for extensive investigations or snooping to be exhausting? Who wants to live this way?

Either divorce him if the marriage sucks or accept that he like any other man may or may not have cheated. Let him know you saw what you saw, and you won't accept infidelity so if he is dumb enough to continue, the marriage will be over. If he loves you and wants to stay married, he will break off whatever he has done.

Life's too short to spend it investigating your spouse.

You're wrong. At this point she needs to find out what's going on. He won't tell her so she needs proof before she makes any type of decision. It could be a million things. Yes she should snoop, not stick her head in the sand. From there she can decide what she wants to do. No there's no accepting any man cheating, the man excuse card isn't going to fly.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here who finds all these recommendations for extensive investigations or snooping to be exhausting? Who wants to live this way?

Either divorce him if the marriage sucks or accept that he like any other man may or may not have cheated. Let him know you saw what you saw, and you won't accept infidelity so if he is dumb enough to continue, the marriage will be over. If he loves you and wants to stay married, he will break off whatever he has done.

Life's too short to spend it investigating your spouse.

I agree with this. What good does it do to conclusively prove what you already know?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

You aren't stupid. You were in shock.

"Ok, if there's nothing in your phone, I'm sure it's ok for me to pull phone records."

NO she shouldn't start threatening him. Act nice as can be, but do everything on the sly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Op here. I don’t know what to say to his denials. I have that woman’s big boobs from the photo plastered in my mind.

You say nothing. You don’t need him to keep lying to you, do you? It’s time instead to think about what you want to do. A confession from him won’t help you decide if you want to attempt to rehab the marriage, move out, etc.

Am I the only one here who finds all these recommendations for extensive investigations or snooping to be exhausting? Who wants to live this way?

Either divorce him if the marriage sucks or accept that he like any other man may or may not have cheated. Let him know you saw what you saw, and you won't accept infidelity so if he is dumb enough to continue, the marriage will be over. If he loves you and wants to stay married, he will break off whatever he has done.

Life's too short to spend it investigating your spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

You aren't stupid. You were in shock.

"Ok, if there's nothing in your phone, I'm sure it's ok for me to pull phone records."

Do not tell him you are doing that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Op here. I don’t know what to say to his denials. I have that woman’s big boobs from the photo plastered in my mind.

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

You aren't stupid. You were in shock.

"Ok, if there's nothing in your phone, I'm sure it's ok for me to pull phone records."

Anonymous wrote:Now he’s on to you. I would do a 180 and fake apologize to him for snooping on his phone and say something like, “I know you’d never do something like that.” And then track EVERYTHING. He’s going to expect that you are pissed so be the opposite, it will allow you some time gather info.

Exactly. If she suspects his boss find out where she lives, her phone number to see any connection there.