Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 10:01     Subject: Re:Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
OP- he should know that she will eventually reach out again to restart the texting.
He should be ready to shut that down and tell you so.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 09:44     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he admitted the mistake, but the whole “you can check my phone when i’m not using it” offer is so insufficient. He needs to know how shaken up you are, *and* marriage counseling is in order. Get a professional to help sort out the What The Hell Happened Here and trust stuff.

Ideally, he would be the one to find a counselor with availability.


Nothing happened here.


Not true. OP's husband was flirting -- seriously flirting -- with an old friend. If I'd sent either of those texts I'd have already been in an affair. They were pretty sexual. He was on the path to an affair, emotional or sexual. Doesn't mean he'd do it -- there are lots of ways off the path -- but he was on the path. OP's husband needs to figure out WHY he was going outside of the marriage for a little thrill and possibly an affair.


Agree.

Best case scenario for OP is that her husband went to this reunion and the woman came onto him super aggressively and he was excited by the attention. Best case scenario is that he was responding to her advances rather than making advances of his own. Worst case scenario is that a lot more happened at the reunion and he is lying about it.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 09:41     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he admitted the mistake, but the whole “you can check my phone when i’m not using it” offer is so insufficient. He needs to know how shaken up you are, *and* marriage counseling is in order. Get a professional to help sort out the What The Hell Happened Here and trust stuff.

Ideally, he would be the one to find a counselor with availability.


Nothing happened here.


Not true. OP's husband was flirting -- seriously flirting -- with an old friend. If I'd sent either of those texts I'd have already been in an affair. They were pretty sexual. He was on the path to an affair, emotional or sexual. Doesn't mean he'd do it -- there are lots of ways off the path -- but he was on the path. OP's husband needs to figure out WHY he was going outside of the marriage for a little thrill and possibly an affair.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 09:37     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he admitted the mistake, but the whole “you can check my phone when i’m not using it” offer is so insufficient. He needs to know how shaken up you are, *and* marriage counseling is in order. Get a professional to help sort out the What The Hell Happened Here and trust stuff.

Ideally, he would be the one to find a counselor with availability.


Nothing happened here.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 09:10     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
I would insist he text her while you are sitting right there with him, that the inappropriate texts must stop, that it’s disrespectful to his wife, and that he is ending contact.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 08:32     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Ladies, when you deny your DH sex at home, remember that opportunities like thiIa are around every corner.


If only! I’ve been pushing my DH to have an affair for years so he’ll stop bugging me for sex, but he’s got no takers.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 08:27     Subject: Re:Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Keep an eye out for apps used to communicate that won't show up on phone bill, i-messages and FaceTime (also won't show up on phone bill), FB messages, emails, second phones, etc. You can have access to his phone, but he can also delete things from it and hide apps. Check browser history.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 08:21     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
I would be glad he admitted the mistake, but the whole “you can check my phone when i’m not using it” offer is so insufficient. He needs to know how shaken up you are, *and* marriage counseling is in order. Get a professional to help sort out the What The Hell Happened Here and trust stuff.

Ideally, he would be the one to find a counselor with availability.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 07:39     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH went to a reunion of the people he knew in elementary and middle school. Some had kept in touch on FB. So he flew out to his old town and stayed with relatives he hasn't seen in a while.

The reunion was at a restaurant and on FB he posted a picture that someone took of a bunch of them standing in front of a table. Anyway, a woman in the picture instead of looking at the camera is facing him and smiling. For whatever intuition, I looked her up and she posted a number of pictures, including one where he is sitting and she is behind him with her arms around his neck.

OK, by itself I'm not going to make a deal out of it but what happened next raised my eyebrows. DH was cutting the grass when the alarm on his phone kept ringing. When I turned it off, noticed his text messaging was open and it appears there has been a lot of traffic between the two. Nothing overtly sexual but teasing and double entendres. Here is an example:

Her: (picture of her in a bathing suit bending over) "having a hard day"?

Him:. Emojis, then "LOL, I need a cold shower"

DH is not the affair type. When we met, he was the guy who wouldn't know a woman was interested in him if she put a sign up saying, please ask me out. I do know that if I raised this he would be extremely embarrassed. Monitor and let it slide if the communication drops or say something?


Nothing overtly sexual?!?!?! What ?!?!?!



This is so disrespectful, I would be livid.

Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 07:33     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Ladies, when you deny your DH sex at home, remember that opportunities like thiIa are around every corner.


1. Where in the OP did it say she denied him sex?
2. I know you are just saying this to make yourself feel better that it will never happen to you BUUUUT people who are in sexually happy marriages still cheat.
3. Why you mad at Thila? Leave the poor lady alone
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2019 04:59     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Wow, he sure got a tad bit sloppy on this.

Yes, definitely have a talk w/him when things are calm & you both can afford the time to 100% focus on each other.
In other words, no distractions.

Try to be as diplomatic as possible + try hard not to sound accusatory in what you say to him.

Good luck to you both.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2019 21:49     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like your husband made a mistake - not a super serious one - admits it and is glad to take steps to coreect it/show you that you can trust him. So trust him - but verify with phone access - and be forgiving of his mistake. Sounds to me like you are lucky to have each other - don't screw it up by constantly bringing this up in the future.

THIS a good man is hard to find


People make mistakes. He admitted it. Forgiving means moving on.


Plus 1. If this is his worst mistake in a long marriage, you married a gem.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2019 21:43     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Ladies, when you deny your DH sex at home, remember that opportunities like thiIa are around every corner.


Michelle Duggar, is that you?
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2019 20:49     Subject: Confront DH about his antics or wait it out?
Anonymous wrote:Ladies, when you deny your DH sex at home, remember that opportunities like thiIa are around every corner.


Yea, that chick is a psycho who will happily ruin the guy’s life. The guy is the one who should be worried, not op.