Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't that the same as when we were young? I'm in my 30s and that's how it was. There was internet back then too with easy access.

For those of us in our 40s and 50s it's a change.

I'm 49 and most of my friends had sex in high school.

I'm 51, and I would guess probably 50% had sex in high school?? However, what I think is different is the wantonness/the rampant oral sex/the casual hook ups. I don't recall that being the case in my day. There was some level of one nighters . . . but that was definitely NOT the norm/viewed as okay/cool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't that the same as when we were young? I'm in my 30s and that's how it was. There was internet back then too with easy access.

For those of us in our 40s and 50s it's a change.

I'm 49 and most of my friends had sex in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids are sitting around together smoking weed, drinking alcohol and casually giving each other oral sex. Op says that the parents are generally involved and cautious about supervising their kids, ensuring that their is a parent around, etc.

Yet, Caligula is routinely happening in back bedrooms or in the basement right under these parents' noses. Makes not a bit of sense to me, sorry.

I'm the 55yo PP. I had sex, including oral sex, in my bedroom in high school, with my parents and siblings in the house. Sometimes we'd drink wine or beer, too. Right under their noses! Shocking!

I'm 53 and that would never have flown in a million years at my parents' house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. I have a son at a Maryland public who is an athlete and part of the popular crowd. We talk about sex, drinking, drugs, etc. a few times a year. Last year, when he was a junior, he told me that he knew of only one or two kids who had actual sex, and a small handful that had oral sex. This is a crowd where the majority of kids go to parties every weekend and drink, with many smoking weed as well—it is not easy for me to understand why their parents don’t limit their part attendance. Hookups at those parties reportedly consist mostly of kissing and groping. There is a surprisingly large number of kids in long-term relationships, and when they are not at parties, they go on movie or dinner dates.

I’m thirty years older, and compared to kids at my HS, they drink the same, smoke more weed, have a significantly higher percentage of monogamous relationships, and much less sex. Of course, this group could just be an anomaly within their school and age group.

If they are going to drinking parties on a regular basis and hooking up they are having sex, too. They may not be proudly and freely open about it. But they are absolutely sexually active. Maybe BJs and hand jobs count as "kissing and groping"?

I’ve heard from teens and other moms of teens that movies.... are almost always an opportunity for fingering. If they’re going to the movies often, and seeing films they’re not that interested in.. it’s a good chance that’s what is happening.

Oh, I'm sure this is happening. I know the movies was a prime place for handjobs and getting fingered when I was in HS years ago.

A boy and girl (11/12) got kicked off of the school bus this past year at my daughter's school after getting caught fooling around.

Good grief. I went to movies all the time with friends when I was a teen and never once saw anyone do anything like that. Sometimes they would be making out a bit but actually getting it on? No way.

Most common place to have sex as a teenager.....wait for it....at home!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. I have a son at a Maryland public who is an athlete and part of the popular crowd. We talk about sex, drinking, drugs, etc. a few times a year. Last year, when he was a junior, he told me that he knew of only one or two kids who had actual sex, and a small handful that had oral sex. This is a crowd where the majority of kids go to parties every weekend and drink, with many smoking weed as well—it is not easy for me to understand why their parents don’t limit their part attendance. Hookups at those parties reportedly consist mostly of kissing and groping. There is a surprisingly large number of kids in long-term relationships, and when they are not at parties, they go on movie or dinner dates.

I’m thirty years older, and compared to kids at my HS, they drink the same, smoke more weed, have a significantly higher percentage of monogamous relationships, and much less sex. Of course, this group could just be an anomaly within their school and age group.

If they are going to drinking parties on a regular basis and hooking up they are having sex, too. They may not be proudly and freely open about it. But they are absolutely sexually active. Maybe BJs and hand jobs count as "kissing and groping"?

I’ve heard from teens and other moms of teens that movies.... are almost always an opportunity for fingering. If they’re going to the movies often, and seeing films they’re not that interested in.. it’s a good chance that’s what is happening.

Oh, I'm sure this is happening. I know the movies was a prime place for handjobs and getting fingered when I was in HS years ago.

A boy and girl (11/12) got kicked off of the school bus this past year at my daughter's school after getting caught fooling around.

Good grief. I went to movies all the time with friends when I was a teen and never once saw anyone do anything like that. Sometimes they would be making out a bit but actually getting it on? No way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't that the same as when we were young? I'm in my 30s and that's how it was. There was internet back then too with easy access.

For those of us in our 40s and 50s it's a change.

I'm 49 and most of my friends had sex in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't that the same as when we were young? I'm in my 30s and that's how it was. There was internet back then too with easy access.

For those of us in our 40s and 50s it's a change.

I'm 49 and most of my friends had sex in high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that your son's group of friends are like this. I do not think that you can over generalize and say that ALL kids are like this. They absolutely are not.

Personally, I think it's sad and pretty gross how these male/female friend groups casually exchange oral sex like it's a handshake, NBD at all. It's a very "Hollywood" thing to do and I think it's social media based peer pressure based. It's what the cool kids do.

It's good that your son is so open with you about this. You have a chance to talk with him about self respect, caring about other people and not doing anything that will be embarrassing for him when he's older. What feels good in the moment might wind up being a pretty gross memory with a lot of shame attached to it later on.

PP here. I've not seen shame associated with it so far. They seem to be enjoying themselves. I'm sure there are a few who have that feeling but plenty seem okay with it. Not my cup of tea but there's only so much you can monitor as a parent. 100 years ago they'd have been married and with a kid or few by 16-19.

These kids are sitting around together smoking weed, drinking alcohol and casually giving each other oral sex. Op says that the parents are generally involved and cautious about supervising their kids, ensuring that their is a parent around, etc.

Yet, Caligula is routinely happening in back bedrooms or in the basement right under these parents' noses. Makes not a bit of sense to me, sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't that the same as when we were young? I'm in my 30s and that's how it was. There was internet back then too with easy access.

For those of us in our 40s and 50s it's a change.

Anonymous wrote:Problem is for a lot of these kids is age of consent is 18 in a lot of states.

They get caught and they are sexual offenders.

Anonymous wrote:Problem is for a lot of these kids is age of consent is 18 in a lot of states.

They get caught and they are sexual offenders.

Anonymous wrote:Problem is for a lot of these kids is age of consent is 18 in a lot of states.

They get caught and they are sexual offenders.