Anonymous
07/05/2019 08:04
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
So sorry, OP. Just make sure the family in CA are impeccable because your STBX seems like the type who would bring up your brother’s recreational pot use or that your sister has racy photos on her SM accounts. He’s going to attack your parenting however he can, including the housing you provide.
Anonymous
07/05/2019 07:24
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
OP, serious question: What was the agreement between you and your husband when he moved to Texas? Were you supposed to follow at the end of the schoo year, was he supposed to find housing and then you'd go, did you want to see if the new job worked out first?
I'm trying to understand how you stayed behind indefinitely with the kids in a $4k/month apartment while he moved to Texas. Why was the plan? He's telling you to move to Texas by next summer? Even that seems very far away.
I'm not criticizing, by the way. He doesn't sound like a nice person and you're in a tough spot. Understanding what the plan was originally will help us understand his (and your) thinking.
Good luck.
I'm trying to understand how you stayed behind indefinitely with the kids in a $4k/month apartment while he moved to Texas. Why was the plan? He's telling you to move to Texas by next summer? Even that seems very far away.
I'm not criticizing, by the way. He doesn't sound like a nice person and you're in a tough spot. Understanding what the plan was originally will help us understand his (and your) thinking.
Good luck.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 20:48
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My expert opinion is, you can do anything you want. Spoken another way from a rando guy on the internet, I'm sorry, I can't relate to the problems of someone who doesn't work and lives in a $4k a month apartment. I'm sure you will land on your feet and be just fine.
Wish all the randos on this thread snarking at OP for being an SAHM who's not at DH's side would focus on the fact the DH moved out of state and is issuing commands to his wife to move or be divorced. The marriage was clearly in deep trouble already if a husband was willing to move halfway across the country without his kids and wife, then from afar threaten divorce and throw around the fact he's a lawyer (translation: he'll screw her in court). You have no idea why the OP is a SAHM (seems she followed him through his career moves; it's hard to build your own career while doing that and raising kids). You have no idea if she's staying put in that apartment because she fears moving to Texas is nothing but moving to a place where she'll be quickly stranded with no family, no friends, no lawyer and a DH who controls everything and wants a divorce. That seems to be what she'd get if she leaves that apartment you so resent.
OP, get a lawyer who had experience in divorces that cross state lines. Your DH sounds controlling; do you suspect he would fight for custody and create s nasty custody battle that he figures you cannot win? He sounds like he's gearing up for a fight. Tell family you need money for a good and experienced lawyer NOW.
So OP is living the life right now. No husband around but he pays for her life style and it seems she is uninterested in do anything to be with him. I really doubt the husband just moved away without talking to OP. Sounds like he moved because of his job. OP did not like Texas and stayed here. I am sure the Op and husband have had many talks about this. OP is just trying to make everyone feel sorry for her. When she gets to court it will be a different story.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 20:31
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
I think you have to move with your DH, or file for a divorce. Why didn’t you go with him to Texas? You don’t have a job.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 18:55
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My expert opinion is, you can do anything you want. Spoken another way from a rando guy on the internet, I'm sorry, I can't relate to the problems of someone who doesn't work and lives in a $4k a month apartment. I'm sure you will land on your feet and be just fine.
Wish all the randos on this thread snarking at OP for being an SAHM who's not at DH's side would focus on the fact the DH moved out of state and is issuing commands to his wife to move or be divorced. The marriage was clearly in deep trouble already if a husband was willing to move halfway across the country without his kids and wife, then from afar threaten divorce and throw around the fact he's a lawyer (translation: he'll screw her in court). You have no idea why the OP is a SAHM (seems she followed him through his career moves; it's hard to build your own career while doing that and raising kids). You have no idea if she's staying put in that apartment because she fears moving to Texas is nothing but moving to a place where she'll be quickly stranded with no family, no friends, no lawyer and a DH who controls everything and wants a divorce. That seems to be what she'd get if she leaves that apartment you so resent.
OP, get a lawyer who had experience in divorces that cross state lines. Your DH sounds controlling; do you suspect he would fight for custody and create s nasty custody battle that he figures you cannot win? He sounds like he's gearing up for a fight. Tell family you need money for a good and experienced lawyer NOW.
He moved for his JOB, which OP does not have (and presumably does not want to get, since mentioned staying a SAHM.) How does she expect to pay the rent on her $4000/month apartment if no one in the family has a job?
Anonymous
07/04/2019 17:40
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
5 pages in—where’s OP?
Anonymous
07/04/2019 17:00
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My expert opinion is, you can do anything you want. Spoken another way from a rando guy on the internet, I'm sorry, I can't relate to the problems of someone who doesn't work and lives in a $4k a month apartment. I'm sure you will land on your feet and be just fine.
Wish all the randos on this thread snarking at OP for being an SAHM who's not at DH's side would focus on the fact the DH moved out of state and is issuing commands to his wife to move or be divorced. The marriage was clearly in deep trouble already if a husband was willing to move halfway across the country without his kids and wife, then from afar threaten divorce and throw around the fact he's a lawyer (translation: he'll screw her in court). You have no idea why the OP is a SAHM (seems she followed him through his career moves; it's hard to build your own career while doing that and raising kids). You have no idea if she's staying put in that apartment because she fears moving to Texas is nothing but moving to a place where she'll be quickly stranded with no family, no friends, no lawyer and a DH who controls everything and wants a divorce. That seems to be what she'd get if she leaves that apartment you so resent.
OP, get a lawyer who had experience in divorces that cross state lines. Your DH sounds controlling; do you suspect he would fight for custody and create s nasty custody battle that he figures you cannot win? He sounds like he's gearing up for a fight. Tell family you need money for a good and experienced lawyer NOW.
You are speculating as we don't know his side.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 17:00
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:Go month to month on your apartment.
You need to file for divorce NOW - before he has residency in Texas.
Do NOT move!!! Once you get a temporary separation agreement, you can request to move to California to get back on your feet. This may or may not work, but you will be better off here than in Texas.
Whose paying for the $4K APARTMENT.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 17:00
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:My expert opinion is, you can do anything you want. Spoken another way from a rando guy on the internet, I'm sorry, I can't relate to the problems of someone who doesn't work and lives in a $4k a month apartment. I'm sure you will land on your feet and be just fine.
Wish all the randos on this thread snarking at OP for being an SAHM who's not at DH's side would focus on the fact the DH moved out of state and is issuing commands to his wife to move or be divorced. The marriage was clearly in deep trouble already if a husband was willing to move halfway across the country without his kids and wife, then from afar threaten divorce and throw around the fact he's a lawyer (translation: he'll screw her in court). You have no idea why the OP is a SAHM (seems she followed him through his career moves; it's hard to build your own career while doing that and raising kids). You have no idea if she's staying put in that apartment because she fears moving to Texas is nothing but moving to a place where she'll be quickly stranded with no family, no friends, no lawyer and a DH who controls everything and wants a divorce. That seems to be what she'd get if she leaves that apartment you so resent.
OP, get a lawyer who had experience in divorces that cross state lines. Your DH sounds controlling; do you suspect he would fight for custody and create s nasty custody battle that he figures you cannot win? He sounds like he's gearing up for a fight. Tell family you need money for a good and experienced lawyer NOW.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 16:54
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Go month to month on your apartment.
You need to file for divorce NOW - before he has residency in Texas.
Do NOT move!!! Once you get a temporary separation agreement, you can request to move to California to get back on your feet. This may or may not work, but you will be better off here than in Texas.
You need to file for divorce NOW - before he has residency in Texas.
Do NOT move!!! Once you get a temporary separation agreement, you can request to move to California to get back on your feet. This may or may not work, but you will be better off here than in Texas.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 16:40
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Anonymous wrote:Texas is a community property state
But the support rules will vary.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 16:39
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
My expert opinion is, you can do anything you want. Spoken another way from a rando guy on the internet, I'm sorry, I can't relate to the problems of someone who doesn't work and lives in a $4k a month apartment. I'm sure you will land on your feet and be just fine.
Anonymous
07/04/2019 16:12
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Texas is a community property state
Anonymous
07/04/2019 16:08
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
Maybe the DH wants to scare wife from filing in CA— which is a community property state, correct? Where the courts would be more generous to the SAHM spouse?
Anonymous
07/04/2019 15:50
Subject: DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids
OP you need to file immediately. You need to get a judge involved and avoid a venue dispute with your ex. Even tho he has no right to proceed in TX, proving it is going to be annoying and expensive.