Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a SAHM, WOHM, and am now fully disabled so I am again staying at home. I just ignore people who feel that they need to shame other women for their life choices. Women need to learn to build other women up, not tear them down.

I am so sick of this "women need to build up other women"! Choices have consequences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to start a war about this but I'm really curious about something. Why does it bother you when SAHMs talk about what they do or express their frustrations? I was reading the "what surprised you about being a SAHM to young kids" thread and it was fairly reasonable and non-contentious for many pages. Mostly SAHMs and former SAHMs talking about the various pros and cons. But then a bunch of working moms had to come in and start shaming SAHMs for their choice.

Why does it bother you if SAHMs want to talk about their issues among themselves? Why do you feel the need to butt in to prove that you're better? "Well *I* have a flexible job that allows me to get home at 3:30 and I make 200k. My husband has the same except he makes 500k." I'm exaggerating but only slightly. Surely you realize that those are unicorn jobs? Great for you, I really mean that! But it's not relevant to the conversation or the OP's question. OP obviously doesn't have a situation like that or she'd mention it. She probably wouldn't be weighing whether to become a SAHM or not.

Why do you feel the need to butt in?

EVERY mother I know IS a "working" mother.
Please stop insulting parents who work very hard to raise their children.

Lol. No.

You work outside the home or you work inside the home. It's all work!

And yes, that means moms who work outside the home essentially have two full time jobs!

Any way you cut it, raising children is HARD WORK!

Agreed. SAHM are not working moms since they do not have A JOB. They are in fact hard working, but no, you do not work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to start a war about this but I'm really curious about something. Why does it bother you when SAHMs talk about what they do or express their frustrations? I was reading the "what surprised you about being a SAHM to young kids" thread and it was fairly reasonable and non-contentious for many pages. Mostly SAHMs and former SAHMs talking about the various pros and cons. But then a bunch of working moms had to come in and start shaming SAHMs for their choice.

Why does it bother you if SAHMs want to talk about their issues among themselves? Why do you feel the need to butt in to prove that you're better? "Well *I* have a flexible job that allows me to get home at 3:30 and I make 200k. My husband has the same except he makes 500k." I'm exaggerating but only slightly. Surely you realize that those are unicorn jobs? Great for you, I really mean that! But it's not relevant to the conversation or the OP's question. OP obviously doesn't have a situation like that or she'd mention it. She probably wouldn't be weighing whether to become a SAHM or not.

Why do you feel the need to butt in?

EVERY mother I know IS a "working" mother.
Please stop insulting parents who work very hard to raise their children.

Lol. No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to start a war about this but I'm really curious about something. Why does it bother you when SAHMs talk about what they do or express their frustrations? I was reading the "what surprised you about being a SAHM to young kids" thread and it was fairly reasonable and non-contentious for many pages. Mostly SAHMs and former SAHMs talking about the various pros and cons. But then a bunch of working moms had to come in and start shaming SAHMs for their choice.

Why does it bother you if SAHMs want to talk about their issues among themselves? Why do you feel the need to butt in to prove that you're better? "Well *I* have a flexible job that allows me to get home at 3:30 and I make 200k. My husband has the same except he makes 500k." I'm exaggerating but only slightly. Surely you realize that those are unicorn jobs? Great for you, I really mean that! But it's not relevant to the conversation or the OP's question. OP obviously doesn't have a situation like that or she'd mention it. She probably wouldn't be weighing whether to become a SAHM or not.

Why do you feel the need to butt in?

EVERY mother I know IS a "working" mother.
Please stop insulting parents who work very hard to raise their children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im always curious at how poorly SAHM moms seems to manage their time, especially when kids are in school. I think our "village" really benefits from both WOHM and SAHM moms in the mix but hands down, at all school, community events its always the SAHMs who are super late and not on top to things or complaining they have no time to help. WOHM moms, for better or worse, must have top notch time management skills and it shows with our kids too.

Eh more likely this is just related to childcare. Much easier to ask an existing nanny to work late to attend a community event than rely on a teenage babysitter you don't call upon often who may or may not show up on time, etc.

Hilarious that you assume all working moms have a nanny!

I didn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im always curious at how poorly SAHM moms seems to manage their time, especially when kids are in school. I think our "village" really benefits from both WOHM and SAHM moms in the mix but hands down, at all school, community events its always the SAHMs who are super late and not on top to things or complaining they have no time to help. WOHM moms, for better or worse, must have top notch time management skills and it shows with our kids too.

Eh more likely this is just related to childcare. Much easier to ask an existing nanny to work late to attend a community event than rely on a teenage babysitter you don't call upon often who may or may not show up on time, etc.

Hilarious that you assume all working moms have a nanny!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im always curious at how poorly SAHM moms seems to manage their time, especially when kids are in school. I think our "village" really benefits from both WOHM and SAHM moms in the mix but hands down, at all school, community events its always the SAHMs who are super late and not on top to things or complaining they have no time to help. WOHM moms, for better or worse, must have top notch time management skills and it shows with our kids too.

Eh more likely this is just related to childcare. Much easier to ask an existing nanny to work late to attend a community event than rely on a teenage babysitter you don't call upon often who may or may not show up on time, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to start a war about this but I'm really curious about something. Why does it bother you when SAHMs talk about what they do or express their frustrations? I was reading the "what surprised you about being a SAHM to young kids" thread and it was fairly reasonable and non-contentious for many pages. Mostly SAHMs and former SAHMs talking about the various pros and cons. But then a bunch of working moms had to come in and start shaming SAHMs for their choice.

Why does it bother you if SAHMs want to talk about their issues among themselves? Why do you feel the need to butt in to prove that you're better? "Well *I* have a flexible job that allows me to get home at 3:30 and I make 200k. My husband has the same except he makes 500k." I'm exaggerating but only slightly. Surely you realize that those are unicorn jobs? Great for you, I really mean that! But it's not relevant to the conversation or the OP's question. OP obviously doesn't have a situation like that or she'd mention it. She probably wouldn't be weighing whether to become a SAHM or not.

Why do you feel the need to butt in?

Anonymous wrote:Im always curious at how poorly SAHM moms seems to manage their time, especially when kids are in school. I think our "village" really benefits from both WOHM and SAHM moms in the mix but hands down, at all school, community events its always the SAHMs who are super late and not on top to things or complaining they have no time to help. WOHM moms, for better or worse, must have top notch time management skills and it shows with our kids too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a SAHM, WOHM, and am now fully disabled so I am again staying at home. I just ignore people who feel that they need to shame other women for their life choices. Women need to learn to build other women up, not tear them down.

I am so sick of this "women need to build up other women"! Choices have consequences.

Anonymous wrote:Generally it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when I hear SAHMs who have kids in preschool or other full-time educational settings and don't have unusual other commitments talk about how hard their lives are.

Yes, it's difficult taking care of young kids all day. No, it's not reasonable to draw an equivalency between working FT and having kids and staying at home while your kids are in school.

It's fine to say "hey, my life is easier than others and I'm grateful for that." The suffering Olympics is tiresome.

Anonymous wrote:I have been a SAHM, WOHM, and am now fully disabled so I am again staying at home. I just ignore people who feel that they need to shame other women for their life choices. Women need to learn to build other women up, not tear them down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only respond to posts shaming or criticizing working moms - as PP noted above, comments like "why do people even have kids if they don't want to raise rhem" really hurt. But I didn't even open that SAHM thread because from the title it clearly wasn't meant for me.

I also get irritates at the "I work from home 6 hours a day and make $200k" posts because that is obviously not a scalable solution. Or we'd all do it!

THIS

Especially when they act like you're an IDIOT for not doing the same thing! Like duh I'll just pop down to my boss's office and demand that 6 hour/200k gig. No problemo.

Anonymous wrote:I have no issues with SAHMs. What brothers me is families with 3 or more kids. Usually they can't afford them and don't have resources to meet their needs.

So the kids grow up in some form of neglect and end up using government resources like free lunches, free medical care, they get college grants because no way their parents can afford it ,etc. Because of the neglect they have issues, etc

So when my pastor says Christians must multiply and God will provide I want to remind him that it was not God but our taxes that paid for his kids' college and medical care.