Anonymous wrote:OP again, thanks for the replies.
I wanted to clarify a couple of points.
1. The painting of my mom's kitchen was my sister's idea (we'll call her Larla). After my dad died we encouraged mom to update the house a bit. In doing so, mom had her cabinets refinished about 5 months ago. She was going to have the same guys paint but Larla said not to. That she would help paint and save some money. So the fact that she keeps bailing on mom because of the dog (that she already had when she promised to help) is a bit frustrating.
2. 4th of July. I totally get not wanting to take your dog to the party during the fireworks or leaving it alone at home. Larla lives 15 minutes from our other sister Darla so in theory, Larla could bring the dog to the party and then go home when fireworks start at 10.
3. These are not isolated incidents, only the most recent. For the past year she has called Darla and i to pick up things from Target or Whole Foods because she doesn't want to leave the dog alone on the weekends her husband works. She has given up many of the hobbies she used to enjoy (and still says she does enjoy) like golf, painting and yoga because her husband works odd shifts and sometimes is out of town and she refuses to ever leave the dog alone, leave it in the car (this was in the winter) while she shops or kennel it at home.

The dog is a GREAT dog. It does not chew things, is house broken and is great with other dogs/people. This is not a high needs rescue. They bought it from a breeder and it has a wonderful temperament.

Darla and i are worried because this is a big change from how Larla used to be. Instead of going out and doing things like she used to like, she is now almost a shut in with this dog. She calls us 'bored' and frustrated she can never leave the house when Larlo her husband is gone.
I get loving your pets, we have 2 dogs and i love them dearly. We do have to modify events or things we do but it seems extreme to never ever leave the dog alone either in a house, or kennel.
It is hard to describe, but it is like the dog is giving her anxiety. She constantly follows the dog around and not in a 'just checking out the new environment' sort of way. It is disrupting her life and on some level i know she knows it, but i have been hesitant to push because i know she loves the dog. I just fear her love for the dog is causing her to lose other things she loves.

Anonymous wrote:My sister and her husband have been married for 4 years. No kids (a bit by choice, a bit by not really ' trying' that hard according to her).
Her DH has wanted a dog forever. She finally caved and they got one.
Well, now she is over the top obsessed with this dog. Everything in her life revolves around this dog.
They have had it for just under a year so this isn't exactly a puppy.
She is changing summer plans, refusing to go to family things etc. all because she has to be with this dog. She is the crazy one but her DH goes along with it and doesn't really say much about it.
Some examples:
She and her DH are not coming to our other sister's 4th of July party (has been every year for 8 years) because She doesn't want to leave the dog at home and doesn't want it near kids or fireworks.
She bailed on helping my mom paint her kitchen as she promised because her husband was out of town with his brother and she didn't want to leave the dog along or bring it over
This weekend while we were out to lunch for 2 hours, she called and checked on the dog (with her neighbor) 3 times.

These are just a few examples.
It is starting to affect her mental health. She is always worried about the dog getting sick, getting into something etc. She follows the dog around constantly in new environments to ensure it won't eat something or do something. Again, this is a year old dog at this point and she is acting like it is a newborn.
They refuse to leave it alone ever so they split where it is at while they work between their neighbor's house and doggy daycare.

Do i say something, anything? I thought this would phase out as the dog aged and the newness wore off but it is getting more intense.

Anonymous wrote:Dogs are more work then children. Sounds completely normal

Anonymous wrote:OP again, thanks for the replies.
I wanted to clarify a couple of points.
1. The painting of my mom's kitchen was my sister's idea (we'll call her Larla). After my dad died we encouraged mom to update the house a bit. In doing so, mom had her cabinets refinished about 5 months ago. She was going to have the same guys paint but Larla said not to. That she would help paint and save some money. So the fact that she keeps bailing on mom because of the dog (that she already had when she promised to help) is a bit frustrating.
2. 4th of July. I totally get not wanting to take your dog to the party during the fireworks or leaving it alone at home. Larla lives 15 minutes from our other sister Darla so in theory, Larla could bring the dog to the party and then go home when fireworks start at 10.
3. These are not isolated incidents, only the most recent. For the past year she has called Darla and i to pick up things from Target or Whole Foods because she doesn't want to leave the dog alone on the weekends her husband works. She has given up many of the hobbies she used to enjoy (and still says she does enjoy) like golf, painting and yoga because her husband works odd shifts and sometimes is out of town and she refuses to ever leave the dog alone, leave it in the car (this was in the winter) while she shops or kennel it at home.

The dog is a GREAT dog. It does not chew things, is house broken and is great with other dogs/people. This is not a high needs rescue. They bought it from a breeder and it has a wonderful temperament.

Darla and i are worried because this is a big change from how Larla used to be. Instead of going out and doing things like she used to like, she is now almost a shut in with this dog. She calls us 'bored' and frustrated she can never leave the house when Larlo her husband is gone.
I get loving your pets, we have 2 dogs and i love them dearly. We do have to modify events or things we do but it seems extreme to never ever leave the dog alone either in a house, or kennel.
It is hard to describe, but it is like the dog is giving her anxiety. She constantly follows the dog around and not in a 'just checking out the new environment' sort of way. It is disrupting her life and on some level i know she knows it, but i have been hesitant to push because i know she loves the dog. I just fear her love for the dog is causing her to lose other things she loves.

Anonymous wrote:My step-FIL was exactly like your sister. I love dogs but I could not understand his comparison of his dog with my own child. Now I am older and I can see that for him (he never had biological kids) the dog was his ‘child’, his reason of life and a remedy against loneliness. I wish he would have focused his attention also on humans around him but he was looking for total unconditional love and perhaps absolute adoration. He estranged me few years ago but I saw how heartbroken he was when the dog passed away. Now he is living even more isolated (he estranged other relatives too) but when I think about it I feel only sadness. I wish he could open his heart also to the more challenging love that human relationships could offer.

Anonymous wrote:I do think it’s partially, “hey, I have responsibilities, too” thing that someone mentioned. I had kids later than almost all my friends and family, and I swear they used to treat me as if I didn’t have anything important to do because nothing could be as important as caring for young. Didn’t matter that I still had plenty of responsibilities. If you say something to your sister about this, she’s going to go ballistic. It’ll basically be continuing to delegitimize her life in her eyes, even if you don’t intend it to mean that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. It doesn't seem unhealthy.
2. You are judging her.
3. Don't say anything unless you want an argument.

+1

I don't get the "my dog is my kid" thing - because until and unless you have children, there is absolutely no comparison, either way. If you want to go on vacation, all you have to do is put a dog in a cage when and if you please. Not so children, obviously. So yah, no comparison and y'all sound nuts.