Anonymous
06/03/2019 15:46
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a HS magnet kid who is ADD. She won’t ever be a truly top student because we won’t medicate. I’d rather her be closer to average in the program without drugs than be exceptional with drugs.
As someone who was very, very intelligent and was not diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type as an adult... this is just so wrong. You are messing with HER LIFE and holding her back. Are you jealous of her potential? I don't understand why you would not give her the help she needs in to fulfill her potential.
I have a fine life but if I had been able to perform at the capacity that was my potential in high school and college, I would have contributed so much more to society. I was not diagnosed until after college. I was so burned out then from the struggles that I could not bring myself to go to grad school. We only have one chance at this life. We get one shot. Why make it harder for her? Medication is not magic. It still takes work.
You should put yourself in to therapy to figure out why you would hold your child back this way. Are you a stepparent? Are you jealous of your child? What is your deal?
+1
Anonymous
06/03/2019 15:46
Subject: Re:Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It is cruel to not at least have the child examined to see if this might help him. Do you also refuse to get his eyes examined or refuse to buy glasses?
Not remotely the same thing.
Actually, exact same thing.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 23:45
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:I have a HS magnet kid who is ADD. She won’t ever be a truly top student because we won’t medicate. I’d rather her be closer to average in the program without drugs than be exceptional with drugs.
As someone who was very, very intelligent and was not diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type as an adult... this is just so wrong. You are messing with HER LIFE and holding her back. Are you jealous of her potential? I don't understand why you would not give her the help she needs in to fulfill her potential.
I have a fine life but if I had been able to perform at the capacity that was my potential in high school and college, I would have contributed so much more to society. I was not diagnosed until after college. I was so burned out then from the struggles that I could not bring myself to go to grad school. We only have one chance at this life. We get one shot. Why make it harder for her? Medication is not magic. It still takes work.
You should put yourself in to therapy to figure out why you would hold your child back this way. Are you a stepparent? Are you jealous of your child? What is your deal?
Anonymous
06/02/2019 18:32
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound like a pharmaceutical sales person.
No, I'm someone who is really frustrated by fuzzy thinking on issues where the science is well understood. With stimulant medication, the good and the bad are well understood.
I'm not one to minimize the bad --- my kid has chosen to wean off of stimulant medication as he's gotten older because he hated the side effects -- difficulty sleeping and loss of appetite. Also, it seemed to aggravate his anxiety (or maybe laying in bed unable to sleep did that, but it ended up being the same thing - he was tired but unable to sleep and laying in bed for hours worrying about that). I tried stimulant medication to treat my ADHD but discontinued it because I didn't like how it makes me feel.
However, I also know how hard untreated ADHD is for kids. My kid used to get so stressed about school (as an elementary student) that he would cry and bang his head on the floor. After starting medication, his stress went down immediately and he started to enjoy school and do well. At that time, the benefits outweighed the side effects. Now they don't. That's always the calculation. But, we understand both the good and the bad pretty well.
Do you understand that the drugs have different effects on different individuals? If it was science, you wouldn’t have to experiment with each person.
Then why to drug trials for say, cancer medications, include more than one person? If "science" demands that everyone respond to a drug the same way that would be totally unnecessary.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 14:48
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
“I think you should take your head out of the sand, figure out what your kid needs at this point in time, and make that he gets it. As opposed to wishing and dreaming that something that makes you uncomfortable will somehow go away with time.
Like meds?”
There’s a pretty accepted list of best practices to help ADHD kids, including good quality sleep, regular exercise (especially before school), good diet, therapy, and meds when it interferes with the kid’s life. A hyperactive 10 y.o. in a traditional school program with a teacher who thinks there’s a problem is not likely to be feeling good about himself. My kid is combined and was miserable in that situation, even working with a therapist. Meds were the game changer. He can focus in school. And he doesn’t get criticized for being inattentive, doesn’t get in trouble for acting out, is doing much better socially, and can clearly articulate how his brain functions on and off the meds.
Like meds?”
There’s a pretty accepted list of best practices to help ADHD kids, including good quality sleep, regular exercise (especially before school), good diet, therapy, and meds when it interferes with the kid’s life. A hyperactive 10 y.o. in a traditional school program with a teacher who thinks there’s a problem is not likely to be feeling good about himself. My kid is combined and was miserable in that situation, even working with a therapist. Meds were the game changer. He can focus in school. And he doesn’t get criticized for being inattentive, doesn’t get in trouble for acting out, is doing much better socially, and can clearly articulate how his brain functions on and off the meds.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 14:22
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You sound like a pharmaceutical sales person.
No, I'm someone who is really frustrated by fuzzy thinking on issues where the science is well understood. With stimulant medication, the good and the bad are well understood.
I'm not one to minimize the bad --- my kid has chosen to wean off of stimulant medication as he's gotten older because he hated the side effects -- difficulty sleeping and loss of appetite. Also, it seemed to aggravate his anxiety (or maybe laying in bed unable to sleep did that, but it ended up being the same thing - he was tired but unable to sleep and laying in bed for hours worrying about that). I tried stimulant medication to treat my ADHD but discontinued it because I didn't like how it makes me feel.
However, I also know how hard untreated ADHD is for kids. My kid used to get so stressed about school (as an elementary student) that he would cry and bang his head on the floor. After starting medication, his stress went down immediately and he started to enjoy school and do well. At that time, the benefits outweighed the side effects. Now they don't. That's always the calculation. But, we understand both the good and the bad pretty well.
Do you understand that the drugs have different effects on different individuals? If it was science, you wouldn’t have to experiment with each person.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 13:38
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a HS magnet kid who is ADD. She won’t ever be a truly top student because we won’t medicate. I’d rather her be closer to average in the program without drugs than be exceptional with drugs.
In the words of my son’s psychiatrist, ADHD mds aren’t performance enhancing drugs. The primary driver for most families is their kid’s psychological well being and happiness, not school performance. When we started medication, my kid became much happier, more social, able to resist the urge to argue with everyone and able to not act in ways that were really alienating to peers.
If you think it’s about performing better at a magnet school, then I wonder if your daughter is misdiagnosed.
They really are. Adderall abuse is rampant at top colleges. Kids sell it all the time.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 13:35
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
OP, my ADHD kid is not medicated but we have invested in a lot of CBT therapy. Drugs are necessary for some I am sure, but he functions very well now. We were in the same place of kid going Ok but teachers pressuring us subtly to do the drugs. We were more comfortable with trying to teach him to manage his condition first, and have been happy with the results but the kid has to want to try for CBT to work, I am told. Our son was frustrated with himself and worked hard at it.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 13:21
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:My DS12 has ADHD and hasn't been medicated. No, they don't outgrow it, but it presents differently depending on the developmental stages and environmental demands.
I could give a lot of examples, but mainly, when kids are younger, impulse control, emotional regulation, hyperactivity, compliance, etc. are bigger issues. There are more outward signs of a lack of self control.
Older kids may turn these problems inward and struggle with executive functioning, focus, social skills, or anxiety. Task persistence, organization, planning, attention to directions, social success, etc. Emotional regulation may get better or worse- for my DS12, he received cognitive therapy early and while his emotions are sometimes over the top, he is able to identify them quickly and calm down.
Also, this sentence reflects a significant misunderstanding of what's mean by executive function. Executive function issues are a biological/developmental issue, not a psychological response to stress. Also, they tend to present more severely in younger kids, not the reverse as you suggest.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 13:18
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:My DS12 has ADHD and hasn't been medicated. No, they don't outgrow it, but it presents differently depending on the developmental stages and environmental demands.
I could give a lot of examples, but mainly, when kids are younger, impulse control, emotional regulation, hyperactivity, compliance, etc. are bigger issues. There are more outward signs of a lack of self control.
Older kids may turn these problems inward and struggle with executive functioning, focus, social skills, or anxiety. Task persistence, organization, planning, attention to directions, social success, etc. Emotional regulation may get better or worse- for my DS12, he received cognitive therapy early and while his emotions are sometimes over the top, he is able to identify them quickly and calm down.
This is objectively wrong based on multiple published longitudinal studies that include high resolution brain imaging, psychiatrist evaluations, parent and teacher interviews as well as the standard ADHD diagnostic survey tools. Many kids DON'T outgrow it. Some do. For those that do, their brains' physical structure comes to more closely resemble nn-ADHD kids than the kids who don't outgrow it (on a population level, there is a lot of variation at the individual level).
Anonymous
06/02/2019 08:21
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:My DS12 has ADHD and hasn't been medicated. No, they don't outgrow it, but it presents differently depending on the developmental stages and environmental demands.
I could give a lot of examples, but mainly, when kids are younger, impulse control, emotional regulation, hyperactivity, compliance, etc. are bigger issues. There are more outward signs of a lack of self control.
Older kids may turn these problems inward and struggle with executive functioning, focus, social skills, or anxiety. Task persistence, organization, planning, attention to directions, social success, etc. Emotional regulation may get better or worse- for my DS12, he received cognitive therapy early and while his emotions are sometimes over the top, he is able to identify them quickly and calm down.
OP, also, I don't unequivocally believe that kids don't grow out of it- I think however, there are a percentage of kids on the milder side (like mine) who learn to manage their symptoms to the point where they may not meet the definition of ADHD as they age. Also, I have read studies where extremely intelligent kids may develop out of sync or may be misdiagnosed due to extreme intensity combined with average executive functioning and processing abilities- it's another reason we took a "wait and see" approach to medication and re-visit the decision each year.
There are a lot of differing views on medication- my only bias is that I wouldn't give any ADHD medication without a full neuropsychology evaluation, including testing for suspected learning disabilities.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 07:58
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
My DS12 has ADHD and hasn't been medicated. No, they don't outgrow it, but it presents differently depending on the developmental stages and environmental demands.
I could give a lot of examples, but mainly, when kids are younger, impulse control, emotional regulation, hyperactivity, compliance, etc. are bigger issues. There are more outward signs of a lack of self control.
Older kids may turn these problems inward and struggle with executive functioning, focus, social skills, or anxiety. Task persistence, organization, planning, attention to directions, social success, etc. Emotional regulation may get better or worse- for my DS12, he received cognitive therapy early and while his emotions are sometimes over the top, he is able to identify them quickly and calm down.
I could give a lot of examples, but mainly, when kids are younger, impulse control, emotional regulation, hyperactivity, compliance, etc. are bigger issues. There are more outward signs of a lack of self control.
Older kids may turn these problems inward and struggle with executive functioning, focus, social skills, or anxiety. Task persistence, organization, planning, attention to directions, social success, etc. Emotional regulation may get better or worse- for my DS12, he received cognitive therapy early and while his emotions are sometimes over the top, he is able to identify them quickly and calm down.
Anonymous
06/02/2019 07:53
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You can’t outgrow ADHD. Speaking from personal experience.
Actually it appears that a certain percentage of kids do, per Dr. Shaw at NIH. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131015094030.htm
Wow, thank you for his! My kids actually participate in this study (Dr. Shaw is so awesome). They came on as control when they were 4, but youngest now seems to have a lot of indicators of ADHD.
Anonymous
06/01/2019 19:30
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Huh?
Anonymous
06/01/2019 19:23
Subject: Anyone not medicate for ADHD and child grew out of it?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No. But DH with ADHD who should have been medicated for it nearly burned the house down the other day because he "forgot " the burner was on when he put the paper towels on the stove.
I do wish he'd grow out of it though.
And I do wish DC would grow out of it every time he crosses the street without looking because he forgot.
Would you say scatterbrained?
No, I wouldn't call you scatterbrained for mocking a condition they have no control over. Maybe just a dullard or jerk.