Anonymous wrote:We have two kids, 7 and 9, so pretty self-sufficient. Our friends have four kids, all under 7 (6, 4, 3, 1). My DH wants to take a week-long vacation with them this summer. To me, it sounds like a child-centric nightmare. I can’t imagine truly bonding with our friends (DH’s goal) while tending to the needs of a gaggle of kids, particularly the 3 and 1 year-olds, on top of four other kids. Thought?

Tell DH you'll do it if the husbands take primary responsibility for the kids do you and other wife can socialize

Offer to stay behind and DH can take the kids.

Or, Dad's and kids only.

I now have 3 teenagers but remember how "vacations" with grandparents, adult relatives and cousins were anything but relaxing for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We only vacation with friends who have similar aged kids as ours (and same number of kids). Everyone pitches in and the kids can play together requiring minimal supervision. Even still, the mom of the youngest will often be left out of the fun b/c the nature of taking care of children.

This will be a hard no for me. I don't know what your H is thinking. Is the other family offering free lodging or some carrots? Even then I would not take it. It will be chaotic and stressful.

Oh, I want to add that we have a rule that the kids can't come out of their room till 8am They can start the ipad at 7am. So there are no 6am convos about unicorns. . .

and I just realized that I quoted someone else. Sorry PP!

I'd pass

Anonymous wrote:We only vacation with friends who have similar aged kids as ours (and same number of kids). Everyone pitches in and the kids can play together requiring minimal supervision. Even still, the mom of the youngest will often be left out of the fun b/c the nature of taking care of children.

This will be a hard no for me. I don't know what your H is thinking. Is the other family offering free lodging or some carrots? Even then I would not take it. It will be chaotic and stressful.

Oh, I want to add that we have a rule that the kids can't come out of their room till 8am They can start the ipad at 7am. So there are no 6am convos about unicorns. . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my worst nightmare.

Your worst nightmare is a vacation with children around, different ages, that may require some work?

Like, that is your worst nightmare?

Not like what happened to that Facebook lady's husband on vacation, on his treadmill?

Not your spouse drowning or a shark attack.

Not even having bacterial diarrhea during your whole vacation.

Just a vacation where everyone is healthy and safe, but not in the age brackets you prefer. Is your worst nightmare.

If this is the worst nightmare scenario you can come up with, you should try to get out more.

NP - Don't be an idiot. You obviously know it's an expression. People use it all the time. For example, my worst nightmare is pedantic twatwaffles on the internet.

For my sister (whose husband is a little useless), having DH and I there provides an opportunity to shirk some of her own kid responsibilities. I get it, having 4 kids hanging off her all the time is exhausting and she needs a break, but it’s frustrating to spend my time off having someone else’s kids dumped on me on and off the whole time or being the bad guy if I say no or want to drink my coffee without engaging in enthusiastic conversations about unicorns.


Understood.

But one day they'll be grown up, and you'll be old and maybe circling-the-drain, and would give anything to have that time back.

Sort of. Which is why I happily play good aunt for 2 days, and then get out of there. I can’t do unicorns at 6am every day of my vacation though (but do try to go there at least a little bit) - but those conversations aren’t nearly as endearing when it’s other people kids (even my nieces and nephews) as they were when they were my own. I was much more inclined to savor that.

Anonymous wrote:We only vacation with friends who have similar aged kids as ours (and same number of kids). Everyone pitches in and the kids can play together requiring minimal supervision. Even still, the mom of the youngest will often be left out of the fun b/c the nature of taking care of children.

This will be a hard no for me. I don't know what your H is thinking. Is the other family offering free lodging or some carrots? Even then I would not take it. It will be chaotic and stressful.

Agree. I've done multifamily, multikid vacations, and they're great if the ages and personalities of the kids overlap/mesh. It was one of our best vacations ever.

But this?

Their kids are likely to worship your kids, because big kids are the coolest. And that can be fun for a day or two, but at some point your kids are going to want to do their thing with their parents, not be good sports for some younger strangers. Even if you were willing to ruin your own vacation, don't ruin your kids'.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I max out after 2 days with my sister and her family in this situation (my kids are 7 and 9, hers are 9, 6, 3, and 3). Your kids are of an age where vacations can be relaxing and enjoyable. Theirs are not.

Unless your idea of vacation is doting on other people’s kids (which it doesn’t sound like it is, but might be for some) and you are highly tolerate of noise/crying/whining/not having uninterrupted conversations, I wouldn’t do it, unless you LOVED these people, DHs would be equal partners with kids and give you time off, and logistics were such that you’d get some private family time.

For my sister (whose husband is a little useless), having DH and I there provides an opportunity to shirk some of her own kid responsibilities. I get it, having 4 kids hanging off her all the time is exhausting and she needs a break, but it’s frustrating to spend my time off having someone else’s kids dumped on me on and off the whole time or being the bad guy if I say no or want to drink my coffee without engaging in enthusiastic conversations about unicorns.

Understood.

But one day they'll be grown up, and you'll be old and maybe circling-the-drain, and would give anything to have that time back.

My husband and I max out after 2 days with my sister and her family in this situation (my kids are 7 and 9, hers are 9, 6, 3, and 3). Your kids are of an age where vacations can be relaxing and enjoyable. Theirs are not.

Unless your idea of vacation is doting on other people’s kids (which it doesn’t sound like it is, but might be for some) and you are highly tolerate of noise/crying/whining/not having uninterrupted conversations, I wouldn’t do it, unless you LOVED these people, DHs would be equal partners with kids and give you time off, and logistics were such that you’d get some private family time.

For my sister (whose husband is a little useless), having DH and I there provides an opportunity to shirk some of her own kid responsibilities. I get it, having 4 kids hanging off her all the time is exhausting and she needs a break, but it’s frustrating to spend my time off having someone else’s kids dumped on me on and off the whole time or being the bad guy if I say no or want to drink my coffee without engaging in enthusiastic conversations about unicorns.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my worst nightmare.

Your worst nightmare is a vacation with children around, different ages, that may require some work?

Like, that is your worst nightmare?

Not like what happened to that Facebook lady's husband on vacation, on his treadmill?

Not your spouse drowning or a shark attack.

Not even having bacterial diarrhea during your whole vacation.

Just a vacation where everyone is healthy and safe, but not in the age brackets you prefer. Is your worst nightmare.

If this is the worst nightmare scenario you can come up with, you should try to get out more.

Go for it. My 2 weeks at the beach with 2 2-year olds felt like a full month. I was ready to come home, and had lost 2 pounds!
I called it my 2 2 2 2 vacation.

Seriously, they're only young once and you will really appreciate it when they get more self-sufficient.

I mean we do something similar every summer at the beach. It isn't a nightmare, but the kids are all chill and play together well. We basically spend the days at the beach or the pool just lying around. The kids are happy to spend hours swimming or playing on the beach with minimal interference from us. We just make sure they don't drown

We trade nights with other families so DH and I can go on a date night sans kids. During the day each adult gets a couple hours to do what they want. So last year I would go on a bike ride, shopping or just spend time reading while someone else watched my kids. Or my husband would go fishing, we just all trade off.

Tell DH that he and his buddy can agree to take all six of the kids for an entire Saturday. If he still thinks that sounds like a fun vacation then you will reconsider.

Yes, this sounds like a nightmare to me. This would be hard pass. Maybe in a few years when all the kids are older.