Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 16:08     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my fiance has paid for sex in the past; he let me know this when we were dating. (I asked him directly, and he was truthful; otherwise, I doubt he would willingly disclose.) It didn't bother me then and doesn't bother me now. It was when he was living abroad (in India and Europe). If it truly makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you will need to consider it a dealbreaker, but I wasn't giving up an awesome guy for that!

(BTW...I just graduated from an MBA program and many many male classmates would pay for sex while traveling personally or with the program to EU, South America, SE Asia, etc. .... all that to say, this is more common than you think and I am sure many of the women saying it is a dealbreaker don't know their husbands have done it.)


My DH also did an MBA program and most of the guys slept with prostitutes when they went on a study trip abroad as part of the program. My DH declined and told me about it. The classmate who arranged it...was cheated on by his wife and later divorced. I think there is some kind of dysfunction involved with men who do that and they are incapable
of having a healthy relationship.


For some men, being able to pay for sex when they really need it is the only reason that they are still married.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 12:10     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:The men who have used prostitutes are "off" in some other fundamental ways in my experience.


you really need help. Please seek therapy.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 11:35     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.


Well, if these were the main qualities you were looking for in a man you’ve found Mr Right. He’s attractive and he can pick up women. He knows how to pay for sex with women.
Enjoy that!


He certainly has other good qualities, but that was in reply to assuming he was a poor sexual partner. It just isn’t true in my experience.


If you want to use him for sex only, it does not matter if he has used prostitutes. Be careful and don't catch anything from him. You should probably see a therapist too if your aim is to be in a healthy relationship some day.


OP here - how have you gotten to that I need to see a therapist?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 07:54     Subject: Re:Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:Gross.
Sex should be with someone you love.
This must be a crass, grossly immature person and I would want nothing to do with them.
Stomach turning.


+ 1

Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 07:54     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:OP, my fiance has paid for sex in the past; he let me know this when we were dating. (I asked him directly, and he was truthful; otherwise, I doubt he would willingly disclose.) It didn't bother me then and doesn't bother me now. It was when he was living abroad (in India and Europe). If it truly makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you will need to consider it a dealbreaker, but I wasn't giving up an awesome guy for that!

(BTW...I just graduated from an MBA program and many many male classmates would pay for sex while traveling personally or with the program to EU, South America, SE Asia, etc. .... all that to say, this is more common than you think and I am sure many of the women saying it is a dealbreaker don't know their husbands have done it.)


My DH also did an MBA program and most of the guys slept with prostitutes when they went on a study trip abroad as part of the program. My DH declined and told me about it. The classmate who arranged it...was cheated on by his wife and later divorced. I think there is some kind of dysfunction involved with men who do that and they are incapable of having a healthy relationship.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 07:47     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:Don't most men pay for sex in their early years anyway? Movies, dinners, gifts, trips...
What's the difference?


Duggar men are posting here?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 07:46     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.


Well, if these were the main qualities you were looking for in a man you’ve found Mr Right. He’s attractive and he can pick up women. He knows how to pay for sex with women.
Enjoy that!


He certainly has other good qualities, but that was in reply to assuming he was a poor sexual partner. It just isn’t true in my experience.


If you want to use him for sex only, it does not matter if he has used prostitutes. Be careful and don't catch anything from him. You should probably see a therapist too if your aim is to be in a healthy relationship some day.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2019 07:37     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
The men who have used prostitutes are "off" in some other fundamental ways in my experience. However, it is not to say that OP does not have her own brand of dysfunction that would be ok with such a man. It is not as if op wants to be married to this guy or have kids with him.

BTW. If a guy shows you what he is... believe him.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 21:53     Subject: Re:Thoughts on legal sex work
My last boyfriend admitted to me that he paid for sex with a male prostitute. It was something really difficult for him to tell me, he had never told anyone before. It was a way for him to share all of himself to me, that he didn’t want to hide what he had been through, open up and be vulnerable, and talk about some tough situations growing up.

He is now my DH and amazingly loving and caring and affectionate and my best friend. You can’t always judge someone today for what they did in their youth.

How is this guy now? If he’s everything you’re looking for and more then I say that past mistake shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 07:56     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.


Well, if these were the main qualities you were looking for in a man you’ve found Mr Right. He’s attractive and he can pick up women. He knows how to pay for sex with women.
Enjoy that!


He certainly has other good qualities, but that was in reply to assuming he was a poor sexual partner. It just isn’t true in my experience.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 06:29     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.


Well, if these were the main qualities you were looking for in a man you’ve found Mr Right. He’s attractive and he can pick up women. He knows how to pay for sex with women.
Enjoy that!
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 06:26     Subject: Re:Thoughts on legal sex work
Gross.
Sex should be with someone you love.
This must be a crass, grossly immature person and I would want nothing to do with them.
Stomach turning.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 05:57     Subject: Re:Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NOPE, move on


I'm a woman. I wouldn't trust a man that was willing to sleep with prostitutes anywhere legal or not.

Lololololol. You're so naive.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2019 05:46     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.


Is he empathetic to you and other people? Do you admire his values? Is he close to family? Does he have good friends?

The two guys I know who used sex workers were definitely "off" in other ways ...
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2019 20:45     Subject: Thoughts on legal sex work
Anonymous wrote:What's he like in bed? The men I've slept with who were good in bed were really into caring about the woman's experience. I would tend to think a man who was willing to have totally transactional sex was a bad lover in general. The one boyfriend I had who didn't even like strippers was amazing in bed, and a super person.


Op here - he is actually really good in bed and attractive. Part of the reason I was shocked. He can certainly pick up woman.