Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems so simple. You pay what you saved. Your child can take out loans for gap. Don’t mess up your retirement to pay for their college. Medical bills will unlikely go down. Pay off their loans later if you are in the financial position to do so.

I don’t think you should discourage child from going to the college he wants.

The gap is $40,000 or more per year. The student cannot take out that much in loans without the parents taking the loans on themselves.

Then be it. My parents didn’t pay for my college. I had a mix of scholarships and loans.

This is such an UMC problem, stressing about paying full price of college.

DH and I both had loans. We both paid off our loans shortly after getting married. We somehow survived. We can easily pay for our three children’s college, grad school, weddings, down payments and vacations.

I had Ivy League education debt. I would not recommend it for some second tier private school.

No undergraduate degree, Ivy or otherwise, is worth over $100,000 in loans.

OP's kid has other options that involve no loans, or limited loans. "So be it" is not sound financial advice.

My $100k debt was worth it 20 years ago. Granted that included grad school. Undergrad was mostly scholarships.

I would argue the college you attend is vastly important. I met many amazing people in Boston, my spouse especially. I made six figures at my first job. DH now earns 7 figures.

Apples and zebras. Grad school is a different animal altogether. I took out loans for law school and it was worth it at that time, in that context, for the job that I got right after graduating.

Six figures for undergrad alone (and OP's kid would be looking at $160K or so, which is the gap between what she can pay and what an elite school costs) is insane no matter what.

The data make it clear that the college you attend is not "vastly important" unless you come from poverty.

The data also make it clear that significant student debt hampers your ability to get ahead in adulthood - to marry, have children, save for retirement, buy a house. That is a fact.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dianahembree/2018/11/01/new-report-finds-student-debt-burden-has-disastrous-domino-effect-on-millions-of-americans/#2836da0112d1

Says the author who attends Green Mountain College.

We can agree to disagree. I personally think certain schools are worth the price - Stanford, MIT, Johns Hopkins, UChicago in addition to the Ivys. Is NYU worth it? Maybe. Boston College? Maybe. Maybe not.

My 40yo friend can’t pay off her loans from her crap private college. I’m sure she would say it isn’t worth the price.

Leaving aside your snarky remark about your personal opinion of her educational credentials, she is just the messenger. The piece is based on a study. It's not the only study on this topic; there are lots. It is a FACT that significant student debt is crippling and causes people fall behind, financially speaking.

https://www.meetsummer.org/share/Summer-Student-Debt-Crisis-Buried-in-Debt-Report-Nov-2018.pdf?_t=1541171524

Other sources for the same information:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/16/student-loan-debt-is-keeping-young-people-from-buying-homes-fed-study-finds.html

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2018/jun/student-loan-debt-has-negative-consequences-later-life-review-ioe-researchers-suggests

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/17/how-student-loans-are-making-some-people-abandon-their-dreams.html

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/what-student-debt-does-to-people-its-not-pretty-2018-11-14

I’m from NY where SUNY schools are decent but not like UVA level. Those friends who went public instead of Cornell, NYU, Tufts, Boston College, etc. had such a chip for many many years. I can’t think of anyone who didn’t go to Harvard or Yale to attend SUNY. I knew lots of kids who did not attend other very good universities like Amherst due to money.

I doubt OP wants her children to attend community college to save money in hopes to transfer as juniors.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems so simple. You pay what you saved. Your child can take out loans for gap. Don’t mess up your retirement to pay for their college. Medical bills will unlikely go down. Pay off their loans later if you are in the financial position to do so.

I don’t think you should discourage child from going to the college he wants.

The gap is $40,000 or more per year. The student cannot take out that much in loans without the parents taking the loans on themselves.

Then be it. My parents didn’t pay for my college. I had a mix of scholarships and loans.

This is such an UMC problem, stressing about paying full price of college.

DH and I both had loans. We both paid off our loans shortly after getting married. We somehow survived. We can easily pay for our three children’s college, grad school, weddings, down payments and vacations.

I had Ivy League education debt. I would not recommend it for some second tier private school.

No undergraduate degree, Ivy or otherwise, is worth over $100,000 in loans.

OP's kid has other options that involve no loans, or limited loans. "So be it" is not sound financial advice.

My $100k debt was worth it 20 years ago. Granted that included grad school. Undergrad was mostly scholarships.

I would argue the college you attend is vastly important. I met many amazing people in Boston, my spouse especially. I made six figures at my first job. DH now earns 7 figures.

Apples and zebras. Grad school is a different animal altogether. I took out loans for law school and it was worth it at that time, in that context, for the job that I got right after graduating.

Six figures for undergrad alone (and OP's kid would be looking at $160K or so, which is the gap between what she can pay and what an elite school costs) is insane no matter what.

The data make it clear that the college you attend is not "vastly important" unless you come from poverty.

The data also make it clear that significant student debt hampers your ability to get ahead in adulthood - to marry, have children, save for retirement, buy a house. That is a fact.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dianahembree/2018/11/01/new-report-finds-student-debt-burden-has-disastrous-domino-effect-on-millions-of-americans/#2836da0112d1

Says the author who attends Green Mountain College.

We can agree to disagree. I personally think certain schools are worth the price - Stanford, MIT, Johns Hopkins, UChicago in addition to the Ivys. Is NYU worth it? Maybe. Boston College? Maybe. Maybe not.

My 40yo friend can’t pay off her loans from her crap private college. I’m sure she would say it isn’t worth the price.

Leaving aside your snarky remark about your personal opinion of her educational credentials, she is just the messenger. The piece is based on a study. It's not the only study on this topic; there are lots. It is a FACT that significant student debt is crippling and causes people fall behind, financially speaking.

https://www.meetsummer.org/share/Summer-Student-Debt-Crisis-Buried-in-Debt-Report-Nov-2018.pdf?_t=1541171524

Other sources for the same information:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/16/student-loan-debt-is-keeping-young-people-from-buying-homes-fed-study-finds.html

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2018/jun/student-loan-debt-has-negative-consequences-later-life-review-ioe-researchers-suggests

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/17/how-student-loans-are-making-some-people-abandon-their-dreams.html

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/what-student-debt-does-to-people-its-not-pretty-2018-11-14

I’m from NY where SUNY schools are decent but not like UVA level. Those friends who went public instead of Cornell, NYU, Tufts, Boston College, etc. had such a chip for many many years. I can’t think of anyone who didn’t go to Harvard or Yale to attend SUNY. I knew lots of kids who did not attend other very good universities like Amherst due to money.

I doubt OP wants her children to attend community college to save money in hopes to transfer as juniors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems so simple. You pay what you saved. Your child can take out loans for gap. Don’t mess up your retirement to pay for their college. Medical bills will unlikely go down. Pay off their loans later if you are in the financial position to do so.

I don’t think you should discourage child from going to the college he wants.

The gap is $40,000 or more per year. The student cannot take out that much in loans without the parents taking the loans on themselves.

Then be it. My parents didn’t pay for my college. I had a mix of scholarships and loans.

This is such an UMC problem, stressing about paying full price of college.

DH and I both had loans. We both paid off our loans shortly after getting married. We somehow survived. We can easily pay for our three children’s college, grad school, weddings, down payments and vacations.

I had Ivy League education debt. I would not recommend it for some second tier private school.

No undergraduate degree, Ivy or otherwise, is worth over $100,000 in loans.

OP's kid has other options that involve no loans, or limited loans. "So be it" is not sound financial advice.

My $100k debt was worth it 20 years ago. Granted that included grad school. Undergrad was mostly scholarships.

I would argue the college you attend is vastly important. I met many amazing people in Boston, my spouse especially. I made six figures at my first job. DH now earns 7 figures.

Apples and zebras. Grad school is a different animal altogether. I took out loans for law school and it was worth it at that time, in that context, for the job that I got right after graduating.

Six figures for undergrad alone (and OP's kid would be looking at $160K or so, which is the gap between what she can pay and what an elite school costs) is insane no matter what.

The data make it clear that the college you attend is not "vastly important" unless you come from poverty.

The data also make it clear that significant student debt hampers your ability to get ahead in adulthood - to marry, have children, save for retirement, buy a house. That is a fact.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dianahembree/2018/11/01/new-report-finds-student-debt-burden-has-disastrous-domino-effect-on-millions-of-americans/#2836da0112d1

Says the author who attends Green Mountain College.

We can agree to disagree. I personally think certain schools are worth the price - Stanford, MIT, Johns Hopkins, UChicago in addition to the Ivys. Is NYU worth it? Maybe. Boston College? Maybe. Maybe not.

My 40yo friend can’t pay off her loans from her crap private college. I’m sure she would say it isn’t worth the price.

Leaving aside your snarky remark about your personal opinion of her educational credentials, she is just the messenger. The piece is based on a study. It's not the only study on this topic; there are lots. It is a FACT that significant student debt is crippling and causes people fall behind, financially speaking.

https://www.meetsummer.org/share/Summer-Student-Debt-Crisis-Buried-in-Debt-Report-Nov-2018.pdf?_t=1541171524

Other sources for the same information:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/16/student-loan-debt-is-keeping-young-people-from-buying-homes-fed-study-finds.html

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2018/jun/student-loan-debt-has-negative-consequences-later-life-review-ioe-researchers-suggests

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/17/how-student-loans-are-making-some-people-abandon-their-dreams.html

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/what-student-debt-does-to-people-its-not-pretty-2018-11-14

Anonymous wrote:Sell the rental! The ROI is trash, and betting on it appreciating is gambling.

Selling it allows you to to stay in the primary home and to cover the reach schools if they become an option.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you have about 16 months before your first starts school and five years before the second? Stop all retirement saving now and pad that 529 while you can. You may actually get some aid considering your spouse's high medical needs. Then do a cash out refinance or home equity loan to cover the gap.

OP is 58. This is terrible, terrible advice.

+1 OP should absolutely not stop saving for retirement. With a disabled spouse and sky high medical bills (that will not go down) they need MORE for retirement.

OP, I understand you say you can afford ~25k per year. But with your situation, you need to be considering community college only for the first two years and a state school for the last two. If your child can gather the scholarships/aid to attend a different school at the same cost as CC/State school then great.

You need to have a serious conversation with your children about what you can afford. And they need to be more aware of what is going on in your family. It seems they don’t have a clue about how ill/costly the treatments are for the disabled spouse.

Anonymous wrote:You need to tell your kid you cannot afford the reach schools. Hard stop. Your budget for college is $30k. Your kid should now this. He/she needs to work within that budget or figure out how to pay the delta themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid gets to apply to prestigious alma mater institutions because lightning may strike and the money may turn up. If it doesn't, this is as good a time as any to learn to handle disappointment with grace.

Why in the world are you hoping that the college, by rejecting your kid, will do this job for you?

I agree. Before you make a schools list, run the net price calculator for each of the schools. If you cannot afford to pay for a given school, then cross it off the list.

There is no reason for him to apply to schools you cannot afford. None whatsoever.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems so simple. You pay what you saved. Your child can take out loans for gap. Don’t mess up your retirement to pay for their college. Medical bills will unlikely go down. Pay off their loans later if you are in the financial position to do so.

I don’t think you should discourage child from going to the college he wants.

The gap is $40,000 or more per year. The student cannot take out that much in loans without the parents taking the loans on themselves.

Then be it. My parents didn’t pay for my college. I had a mix of scholarships and loans.

This is such an UMC problem, stressing about paying full price of college.

DH and I both had loans. We both paid off our loans shortly after getting married. We somehow survived. We can easily pay for our three children’s college, grad school, weddings, down payments and vacations.

I had Ivy League education debt. I would not recommend it for some second tier private school.

No undergraduate degree, Ivy or otherwise, is worth over $100,000 in loans.

OP's kid has other options that involve no loans, or limited loans. "So be it" is not sound financial advice.

My $100k debt was worth it 20 years ago. Granted that included grad school. Undergrad was mostly scholarships.

I would argue the college you attend is vastly important. I met many amazing people in Boston, my spouse especially. I made six figures at my first job. DH now earns 7 figures.

Apples and zebras. Grad school is a different animal altogether. I took out loans for law school and it was worth it at that time, in that context, for the job that I got right after graduating.

Six figures for undergrad alone (and OP's kid would be looking at $160K or so, which is the gap between what she can pay and what an elite school costs) is insane no matter what.

The data make it clear that the college you attend is not "vastly important" unless you come from poverty.

The data also make it clear that significant student debt hampers your ability to get ahead in adulthood - to marry, have children, save for retirement, buy a house. That is a fact.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dianahembree/2018/11/01/new-report-finds-student-debt-burden-has-disastrous-domino-effect-on-millions-of-americans/#2836da0112d1

Says the author who attends Green Mountain College.

We can agree to disagree. I personally think certain schools are worth the price - Stanford, MIT, Johns Hopkins, UChicago in addition to the Ivys. Is NYU worth it? Maybe. Boston College? Maybe. Maybe not.

My 40yo friend can’t pay off her loans from her crap private college. I’m sure she would say it isn’t worth the price.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This seems so simple. You pay what you saved. Your child can take out loans for gap. Don’t mess up your retirement to pay for their college. Medical bills will unlikely go down. Pay off their loans later if you are in the financial position to do so.

I don’t think you should discourage child from going to the college he wants.

The gap is $40,000 or more per year. The student cannot take out that much in loans without the parents taking the loans on themselves.

Then be it. My parents didn’t pay for my college. I had a mix of scholarships and loans.

This is such an UMC problem, stressing about paying full price of college.

DH and I both had loans. We both paid off our loans shortly after getting married. We somehow survived. We can easily pay for our three children’s college, grad school, weddings, down payments and vacations.

I had Ivy League education debt. I would not recommend it for some second tier private school.

No undergraduate degree, Ivy or otherwise, is worth over $100,000 in loans.

OP's kid has other options that involve no loans, or limited loans. "So be it" is not sound financial advice.

My $100k debt was worth it 20 years ago. Granted that included grad school. Undergrad was mostly scholarships.

I would argue the college you attend is vastly important. I met many amazing people in Boston, my spouse especially. I made six figures at my first job. DH now earns 7 figures.

Apples and zebras. Grad school is a different animal altogether. I took out loans for law school and it was worth it at that time, in that context, for the job that I got right after graduating.

Six figures for undergrad alone (and OP's kid would be looking at $160K or so, which is the gap between what she can pay and what an elite school costs) is insane no matter what.

The data make it clear that the college you attend is not "vastly important" unless you come from poverty.

The data also make it clear that significant student debt hampers your ability to get ahead in adulthood - to marry, have children, save for retirement, buy a house. That is a fact.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/dianahembree/2018/11/01/new-report-finds-student-debt-burden-has-disastrous-domino-effect-on-millions-of-americans/#2836da0112d1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I read that right that you gave 6k in 529?

You can’t afford to pay for it. That is the answer. Don’t feel bad about it.

What kind of special education costs 35k?

They have a second house with $600k in equity. That is where the college savings are located.

Did she state that somewhere?

Well the she should sell the house if that was the purpose of the house. All financial issues solved.