Anonymous
04/25/2019 11:44
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
I used to get jealous when I saw my working mom friends take a day off while their kids went to daycare.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 11:24
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
I felt like this was one of the worst parts about being a WOHM. I liked work, and I liked home stuff, but when home bled into work (getting called by school or nanny during the day), or work bled into home (phone calls after hours), I felt stretched and overwhelmed.
I know that for some women, nursing a baby or making dinner while answering an emergent call from work feels like the epitome of doing it all, but my only thought when this happened was, “this sucks.”
Anonymous
04/25/2019 11:15
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.
That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.
DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:47
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.
I'm the PP who had business travel. 2 weeks in 3 years. That's it. And, yes, grandparents assisted for most of that.
So, fine. I wasn't "on call" for 2 out of 156 weeks.
That is two weeks more than I've had in the past 19 years, DP. But, your situation was one reason that dh and I decided that it would be good for me to SAH in the first place. It was not easy for us financially at first but after a point it started to pay off. Again, there is no one "right" way. What was hard for you when they were little probably became a lot easier for you as your kids got older. You now have a 2 career family and your kids are less work - there is definitely a benefit to doing things the way that you have done them.
My child is 3, so I wouldn't exactly call it "less work" just yet. But, yes, there's pros and cons to both approaches. I guess my whole point was that, at least in my experience and that of nearly all of my friends with children of similar age, one parent is the "on call" parent, whether that's a SAHP or not. With the exception of 2 weeks' worth of business travel for me, my DH has never once had to worry about leaving work early or being called out of a meeting to pick up DD. I don't have the same luxury.
But, since I've actually caught a break for 2 weeks in that regard, my opinion is irrelevant.
A week away from kid duty nearly every year means that you are not on kid duty ALL the time. I know that work travel is not like a vacation but, honestly, I used to feel a twinge of envy when I saw other moms getting away like that. They aren't little forever...
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:45
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.
That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:43
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:35
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.
I'm the PP who had business travel. 2 weeks in 3 years. That's it. And, yes, grandparents assisted for most of that.
So, fine. I wasn't "on call" for 2 out of 156 weeks.
That is two weeks more than I've had in the past 19 years, DP. But, your situation was one reason that dh and I decided that it would be good for me to SAH in the first place. It was not easy for us financially at first but after a point it started to pay off. Again, there is no one "right" way. What was hard for you when they were little probably became a lot easier for you as your kids got older. You now have a 2 career family and your kids are less work - there is definitely a benefit to doing things the way that you have done them.
My child is 3, so I wouldn't exactly call it "less work" just yet. But, yes, there's pros and cons to both approaches. I guess my whole point was that, at least in my experience and that of nearly all of my friends with children of similar age, one parent is the "on call" parent, whether that's a SAHP or not. With the exception of 2 weeks' worth of business travel for me, my DH has never once had to worry about leaving work early or being called out of a meeting to pick up DD. I don't have the same luxury.
But, since I've actually caught a break for 2 weeks in that regard, my opinion is irrelevant.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:20
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.
I'm the PP who had business travel. 2 weeks in 3 years. That's it. And, yes, grandparents assisted for most of that.
So, fine. I wasn't "on call" for 2 out of 156 weeks.
That is two weeks more than I've had in the past 19 years, DP. But, your situation was one reason that dh and I decided that it would be good for me to SAH in the first place. It was not easy for us financially at first but after a point it started to pay off. Again, there is no one "right" way. What was hard for you when they were little probably became a lot easier for you as your kids got older. You now have a 2 career family and your kids are less work - there is definitely a benefit to doing things the way that you have done them.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:13
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.
I'm the PP who had business travel. 2 weeks in 3 years. That's it. And, yes, grandparents assisted for most of that.
So, fine. I wasn't "on call" for 2 out of 156 weeks.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:13
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Three kids. 9-2:40 weekdays assuming everyone's in school.
Nobody has sports? Friends? Playdates?
Weird question. They all have friends. !! They all play sports but not all three at the same time.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:07
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 10:02
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 09:47
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Three kids. 9-2:40 weekdays assuming everyone's in school.
Nobody has sports? Friends? Playdates?
Anonymous
04/25/2019 09:43
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.
Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.
Anonymous
04/25/2019 09:07
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is true for almost everyone.
It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.
Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.