Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was in the same boat. Dying husband, spoiled rotten stepkids, who never called, never bothered to ask how their dad was doing. And they were no teenagers. The first thing I made sure was that there was never any contact between them and my daughter. Her halfsister is a junkie. Her halfbrother is constantly blaming anyone but himself, can't hold a job or a marriage.

So stand your ground. Keep losers away from your child.

So, divorced parents, dying father, step mom, new half sibling, and messed up even adult children? I guess divorce really has no impact on children.

Ugh, so we're all assuming that her deceased father was father of the year.

Guess, what, my father was dying and I didn't visit him until right before he died because he was horrible and abused my sister as a child And I wasn't nice to my stepmom because she wasn't nice to me. But, if I found out I had a sibling, I would likely reach out especially since my abusive father was out of the picture.

We don't the story at all, maybe the girl is awful, maybe she isn't, but she isn't harassing you by asking you how you are on social media. Ignore he if you want, but there is nothing legal to be done and be sure you're ready to explain to your son why you didn't let him see his sister.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was in the same boat. Dying husband, spoiled rotten stepkids, who never called, never bothered to ask how their dad was doing. And they were no teenagers. The first thing I made sure was that there was never any contact between them and my daughter. Her halfsister is a junkie. Her halfbrother is constantly blaming anyone but himself, can't hold a job or a marriage.

So stand your ground. Keep losers away from your child.

So, divorced parents, dying father, step mom, new half sibling, and messed up even adult children? I guess divorce really has no impact on children.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was in the same boat. Dying husband, spoiled rotten stepkids, who never called, never bothered to ask how their dad was doing. And they were no teenagers. The first thing I made sure was that there was never any contact between them and my daughter. Her halfsister is a junkie. Her halfbrother is constantly blaming anyone but himself, can't hold a job or a marriage.

So stand your ground. Keep losers away from your child.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel inclined to see her. Would it make a difference to you if she had behaved better in the past? For me, it wouldn't. It's not mean or anything it's just that I am very busy and I bet you are too being a single mother of a young child. My free time is extremely limited and I don't spend on people whose company I don't enjoy. I have cousins that are nice enough people but I don't keep in touch (neither do they FWIW) and that's fine because they live far away and we are all very busy.

Maybe SD is great, maybe she's not. Who knows, who cares. If you have other people whose company you enjoy spend your time with them.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, my DH passed away 3 years ago. In fact, for the majority of our short marriage (6 years) he was ill. He was a wonderful man, very kind, very patient, and very taken advantage of by his-then teenage daughter. The fits she threw when she found out he met someone, her behavior at our wedding and her reaction to the news about having a baby brother were just astonishing. She didn't visit her father once at the hospital. She behaved like a total brat at his funeral, was very disrespectful to his elderly parents. She never contacted me after the funeral. The only time I heard anything about her was when her mother called me to ask when the insurance $$ was coming.

I have since sold our house and moved with our son to another area. Last month she found me on social media. She keeps sending messages, I don't respond to them. I don't care for that woman. I don't know what she wants from me but it's certainly not a relationship. She could care less about her brother, she never did. I know she's a college drop out and has been living with her mother. She has her inheritance, DH made sure she was taken care of.

I know blocking her everywhere will solve the problem but I really don't want her to contact my son, at least not until he's 18. Is there anything legally I can do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is OP writing that step daughter is not a genocide survivor...well that kind of flippant and nasty attitude just tells us all we need to know. That young woman should stop contacting widow step monster.

No, that wasn't OP. I'm saying like it is. The stepdaughter is imposing on her father's widow and that's not cool. OP already said she's sold the house and moved away so how exactly is the half-sister supposed to see OP's son? I hate reading threads where people assume that the woman needs to bend over backwards for people who don't even appreciate her and no one wants to admit it, but really we only expect it because OP is a woman. If she were a guy, no one would be calling her names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her parents divorced when she was 5. We met when she was 14, married when she was 17. No one stole her father. The only thing she and her mother were concerned when he got sick was "are the child support checks coming?". She never visited him. The only time she'd call him was to ask for money. So "forgive me" if I am resentful and have a "kneejerk" reaction. My parents also divorced when I was young. But I never acted like that towards their new spouses and we had solid relationships. Even though my parents are long gone, I still talk to my stepmother and stepfather.

So here’s your cookie for being so awesome.

You realize that much of her reaction may have been due to her mother and HER reactions? Not everyone is as gifted as you are at having stable role models.

14 is tough, even when your dad isn’t meeting someone new, starting a new family, and then dying.

You sound more bitter and resentful that she got some money that I’m assuming you think should have gone to you and your son. You probably didn’t like her then because she was his first and he treated her that way.

If it’s nothing to you, then just tell her that you’re not interested in a relationship. She will find her half brother when he’s 18 like I did with mine.

Not bitter that she got money. My son is more than taken care of. I did like when I first met her. She had spunk. But she also had a mean streak; even her own mother said that.

Now I'm feeling sorry for the daughter. What a way to write off a kid.

Again: What do you want to hear? You don't like your stepdaughter, don't talk to her. But we're not going to tell you you're fabulous for making that decision.

I'm Team OP. OP has no obligation to her late DH's DD AT ALL. They never had a relationship and the girl is no one to her. It is no loss to OP to just pretend this person doesn't exist. And it is within OP's rights to deny the stepdaughter access to her own son given that she doesn't know what this person's intentions are. I wouldn't trust her, would you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So she was a teen when her divorced father met someone else, got married, had another child with the new wife, and was ill and died?

Excuse me, but that is COMPLETELY TRAUMATIZING for a teenager to go through. Normal teens with happy home lives can be impossible, but this???

I would forgive her and start afresh. Truly. You have no idea what she suffered during those years. You have no idea how that teen period affected her college years and young adulthood. She's probably scarred for life.

+1 although this perspective is probably too generous for the internet crowd

She wasn't a genocide survivor. Please don't throw around the term 'trauma' so easily. Life is complicated- her dad and mom split. She still had her needs taken care of so I don't know what her problem is. This "Woe is me" attitude is not working for many young people who like to think of themselves as troubled in this day and age.

Completely out of line.

Divorce is so common in this country ...do you honestly think it's traumatizing? Unless it involves abuse, the effects of divorce on children is overblown.