“Mummy, that rapscallion MR/Mrs Bandersnoot will not pass me the Grey Poupon.”

I do Mr and Mrs Lastname because it's how I grew up unless the person prefers something else.

Anonymous wrote:I default to mr./ miss first name. But if a person says "call me x" I will respect that. I feel like it is rude to deny someone's wishes even if that is actually really difficult for me. I'm 35 with two kids and still default to mr/mrs lastname myself!

+1. I want my children to be respectful, a concept which often means different things to different people. We default to Mr./Ms. Last Name at first since formality
usually has less potential to cause offense initially than informality might, but we teach the kids to address each adult in accordance with the individual's wishes once known. I was raised with the belief that the cornerstone of good manners is treating others in a way that makes everyone you interact with feel comfortable, so we strive to honor people's individual preferences. IMHO, doing anything else would strike me as rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids should not be addressing any adults by first name only.

In your opinion. I find Mrs. So and So to be incredibly fusty, and Miss So and So to be southern and weird. I prefer to be called by my first name. How is using my name disrespectful?

I agree so much with both of these. I hate that my 3 year old calls a grown up “Lauren”. But, she doesn’t want Mrs Last Smith, and Miss Lauren is annoying and a mouthful.

It's really not once you get used to it. I grew up outside Philadelphia and never heard Ms. Firstname until I was a young adult and someone addressed me that way, and it was so weird to me! But then I moved down here and heard it a lot. And then when I had kids I could not fathom having the address adults by their first names, and no one seems to use last names. So everyone is Mr./Ms. Firstname and it's actually very easy. My newly 2 year old can say Ms. Lauren.

The hardest part is making my 5 year old understand, from a philosophical perspective, why adults are Ms./Mr.!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever that adult wants to be called. Phoebe, Mrs. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, whatever.

I hate the "Miss Phoebe" thing. We're not Southern, obviously.

I am a brown immigrant and I would say “Miss Phoebe”. It’s not just a Southern thing.

We have kids call us by our first name and I find it incredibly off putting that their parents allow that and even refer to us by our first name when talking with their kids. It’s like they think they are being so modern but it’s really tacky. Your kids are still kids. Stop thinking that treating them like your mature equal is going to make them into some well adjusted super adult.

I find this response so odd. If you want to be called “Ms First name” if “Ms last name,” just say so. If other people want to be called by their dfirst name, as I do, why do you care? To each her own.