White people problem!
"Boy-Mom Shit"!!

COSCO should have kicked you out.

This falls under the category of "sh--t happens" with little kids.

But agree with PPs that taking away summer daycare makes no sense. Here's a few things that the parenting books would tell you:

1. Don't set them up for failure. Don't take them to Costco at the end of the day or, if you do because you have no other option, realize it will be a sh-tshow and just accept that. Have realistic expectations.

2. Incentives work waaaay better than punishment. So if you were planning on buying cookies anyway for dessert, make it an incentive. "We can get the nice cookies IF you behave nicely." It helps if there are multiple incentives. I've done many target trips where various "incentives" (things that were basically on my list anyway) were put back on the shelves due to poor behavioral choices. I also have a son with an extensive collection of 99 cent matchbox cars from Giant, because they were great incentives.

3. Consequences need to be immediate, related, and proportionate. See above suggestion re putting back the treats and snacks. Riding in cart rather than walking along side, etc. I like the above suggestion about sitting in the car and listening to mommy's boring podcast rather than going home to play.

4. FInally, not related to your kids, but do not judge others. Pretty much everyone's kids are like this at some point. Remember this when you are the empty nester shopping in Costco, and see some poor parent with their kid shooting them with a finger gun. Smile and tell them "We've all had THOSE days!" We all feel silently judged and it's nice to have someone express empathy.

We all know the proper term nowadays is "off the call-ahead-seating"

This is kids sometimes. This is why when I see kids like this, I dont judge the parents, or get agitated. Sometimes its the other person, sometimes its you. Maybe they didnt have enough outdoor time and have extra energy, maybe there is some stressor I dont know about.

Rest knowing this: with almost total certainty, you are never going to see the people in that place, that saw your kids, again. And by the time you do, they will have forgotten.

-signed, a 41 year old male who, when I was as old as 7 or 8, would get UNDER the grocery cart on that wire rack and say "look I'm a big bag of dog food!" and ride around the store. If I wasn't an only child, I'm sure I would have been abandoned in the woods. I turned out OK I guess.

Anonymous wrote:When I go to a store that might take a while like grocery shopping and when I go during a time of day I anticipate might be rough I take a bag of snacks like goldfish or pretzels. Then he'll sit in the cart peacefully until the snack is finished and even if he wants to walk afterwards he's more peaceful since I've at least taken hunger out of the equation. I highly recommend it. Started doing that after my 3 year old had a meltdown at the store and as he was melting down we passed another kid close to the same age that was sitting nicely in the cart with a snack.

Entire countries full of children are able to shop without stuffing themselves full of junk food. Great parenting tactic.

Anonymous wrote:DS4 and DS3 decided to go absolutely apesh!t at Costco tonight...jumping in and out of the car, punching and kicking each other (yet not really in anger?), making shooting gun symbols with their hands and pointing them at me, shouting about how they were gonna get me, I was going to be kicked out of our family and sent to jail, sent to the moon, catapulted on top of a building.

I tried so hard to be strategic, keep younger one strapped into seat (he would wriggle free), have older one go sit on bench and collect himself and count to 10. Give older one a job like pushing the cart (He refused) _ I just absolutely couldn't contain them.

I had to walk thru parking lot with this sideshow occurring. I wound up giving them th3 silent treatment on the way home so I could collect my thoughts and focus on saf

Um. Why do your 3 and 4 yo know what shooting people is / kicking people out of families is / catapulting off of buildings is ??

Anonymous wrote:None of this sounds more than like high spirits to me. What is the big deal?

Hi Overly Permissive Parent Whose Kids Nobody Can Stand! Was wondering when you'd show up

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OT but, please use "out-of-control" instead of "off the reservation". I didn't know what you meant until I read your post, then I realized what an offensive turn of phrase it is, which I'm sure you didn't realize.

Not to mention that it didn’t even make sense in this context

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the term as a metaphor meaning "to deviate from what is expected or customary; to behave unexpectedly or independently."

I'm not arguing against any racist connotations, but it does seem to mean exactly what OP was saying.

When I go to a store that might take a while like grocery shopping and when I go during a time of day I anticipate might be rough I take a bag of snacks like goldfish or pretzels. Then he'll sit in the cart peacefully until the snack is finished and even if he wants to walk afterwards he's more peaceful since I've at least taken hunger out of the equation. I highly recommend it. Started doing that after my 3 year old had a meltdown at the store and as he was melting down we passed another kid close to the same age that was sitting nicely in the cart with a snack.

They are brats and it your fault as you have allowed them to be feral from the get go. Start being a parent and use discipline!

LOL! Our 4 and 3 years old did the same thing about two months ago and we are still traumatized. We have stopped family Costco trips for the time being! LOL! I feel you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is when you eat canned beans on toast for supper, and stale cereal without milk.

When they cross the line, you pack up and leave immediately. no "just one more chance," no negotiation. Every time, this is the immediate result.

They will stop very quickly.

This is bad advice. This works if you are somewhere that the kid thinks as fun. I'm not letting my kid derail grocery shopping. I imagine he would love it if all he had to do was act up a bit and get us to terminate every boring errand immediately.

What I do is go to the parking lot and make the kids sit buckled in their car seats for a timeout. Something like 5 minutes of silence. Any talking and the timer starts all over again. Nobody leaves the car until this is done. Then we try again. Sometimes I play the Economist the week ahead podcast - or something the kids find equally boring.

Whatever happens, I never reward bad behavior by going home to play. That’s stupid. If they think Costco is too boring to behave, they’re going to do something even more boring. Plus, when we get home they get extra chores.

I’ve had to do this exsactly twice. Yes, it sucked for me but parenting is about the long game. My kids know that if I ask them if they need practice behaving, they better listen. I only ask once and I make sure to do it in a very soft calm voice. I don’t yell. I don’t raise my voice and I absolutely never ask unless I’m willing to follow through.

Love it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OT but, please use "out-of-control" instead of "off the reservation". I didn't know what you meant until I read your post, then I realized what an offensive turn of phrase it is, which I'm sure you didn't realize.

Not to mention that it didn’t even make sense in this context

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your three and four year old acted up at Costco on the first really hot day of spring. Stop catastrophizing.

Yep. They acted up. Not the end of the world. Discipline and move on.

I love how people have really stupid comments to insert though. Like, who has desert on a Monday? Super helpful

but the off the reservation comments are on point. It really isn't something anyone should be saying anymore just as an FYI

Yes, but if you look back up thread, you'll see that she agreed once the offensiveness was explained to her, and she apologized. No need to keep piling on about that. Some people hear phrases their entire lives and don't realize the offensive origins of them. It happens.

Anonymous wrote:Your three and four year old acted up at Costco on the first really hot day of spring. Stop catastrophizing.

Yep. They acted up. Not the end of the world. Discipline and move on.

I love how people have really stupid comments to insert though. Like, who has desert on a Monday? Super helpful

but the off the reservation comments are on point. It really isn't something anyone should be saying anymore just as an FYI