Anonymous wrote:Medical issues are basically the same as money issues. Don’t marry until everything is resolved, or else you are on the hook for everything the partner is tied to. You are 29, move on. The boyfriend needs time to heal before he can focus on the relationship. My brother had Lyme disease. It took years to figure out what was causing his health problems.

Anonymous wrote:I developed a chronic autoimmune disorder as an adult. It has completely changed who I am and what I can do. I would say get out. I already hate that I can't do and do what I want to, I don't want to drag another person along with me.

I would feel guilty for you staying. It would change your life like it has mine and I don't want that on my shoulders.

Different to me than if you were in a marriage. You aren't. You are dating and with life circumstances what they are, you aren't compatible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you're no longer useful to a woman, she'll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. You can never be weak or sick for even a minute, or she'll despise you and start thinking about how to get rid of you.

Guy here. Reader of the same forum and subscriber to that philosophy. Yep, that was my first thought when I saw this post. Demonstrates on the principle of that philosophy very clearly. Meanwhile, if the roles were reversed, most guys would stick by the girl no question.

Unless they can't have sex for an extended time then they split

Anonymous wrote:you know that long term lyme is fake

https://www.skepticalraptor.com/skepticalraptorblog.php/chronic-lyme-disease-scientific-evidence-supporting/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you're no longer useful to a woman, she'll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. You can never be weak or sick for even a minute, or she'll despise you and start thinking about how to get rid of you.

Guy here. Reader of the same forum and subscriber to that philosophy. Yep, that was my first thought when I saw this post. Demonstrates on the principle of that philosophy very clearly. Meanwhile, if the roles were reversed, most guys would stick by the girl no question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you're no longer useful to a woman, she'll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. You can never be weak or sick for even a minute, or she'll despise you and start thinking about how to get rid of you.

Guy here. Reader of the same forum and subscriber to that philosophy. Yep, that was my first thought when I saw this post. Demonstrates on the principle of that philosophy very clearly. Meanwhile, if the roles were reversed, most guys would stick by the girl no question.

Actually, husbands of wives with chronic illness divorce them at a far higher rate than do wives of husbands with chronic illness.

https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-11/fhcr-mls111009.php

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you're no longer useful to a woman, she'll throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. You can never be weak or sick for even a minute, or she'll despise you and start thinking about how to get rid of you.

Guy here. Reader of the same forum and subscriber to that philosophy. Yep, that was my first thought when I saw this post. Demonstrates on the principle of that philosophy very clearly. Meanwhile, if the roles were reversed, most guys would stick by the girl no question.

Anonymous wrote:NP here and I agree with PPs to get out, or the PP that said give yourself 6 months etc.

One thought I haven't seen expressed yet is WHY long term marriages can often shoulder through tough times.

I've been married over 20 years and we've had some tough times. What goes on in the pre-marriage and early years of marriage is this foundation-building of good times and positive experiences.

These experiences are like money in the bank. They are reserves. Then the sh*t hits the fan, and one person needs a big withdrawal, or both people are hit (maybe by their teenage kid) and need the withdrawal, but the reserves are there.

I remember one time when I had infant/toddlers and used to reminisce about a trip we took to Greece. Thank goodness for that trip to Greece, so long ago, before we were married.

I could go on re when DH had job trouble and got depressed, when our teen's health issue stressed me out so much it became questionable who was more sick...

But over time, before all that, my DH and I had built up reserves. That reserve gives you the strength and loyalty to persevere, vs. feeling cheated and used and trapped.

Look at it this way: It's not about you as an individual being shitty or whatever; it's simply about the circumstances. You two have not built up your relationship reserve yet. Therefore, you will feel trapped. He may also feel trapped into being loyal to you. It's a situation not set up to succeed.