Anonymous
Post 06/03/2019 13:20     Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
It would bother me but you may have to deal with it. My step mother in law wanted to be called grandma which I don't like, since we already have 2 real grandmas. She's only like 10 years older than me and is not anyone's real grandma. I remind my kids frequently who are the real grandparents.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2019 22:17     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
You will always be her bio-Mom just suck it up.

I understand your frustration but be happy you are not in a drama filled three way.

Also wanting your kid to call her other might put your daughter in an awkward position if there are other kids calling the stepmom Mom.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2019 22:05     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised reading all of this because people are regularly told to call their in-laws “mom” and “dad” on here. It’s no different than stepparents.


I told my MIL no I would not call her mom. I loved her dearly and we were very close but she was not my mom.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2019 22:04     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:To the people protesting that kids only have one mom....have you never known anyone who was adopted? Families come in all shapes and sizes, and are formed in evolving ways.

Adults should flex to makes the changes optimal for the kids having to live through them, not to assuage the adults' egos.


My child is adopted and I'm a stepmom. My child has one mother. ME. Kids don't call their birthparents Mom. And, there is a huge difference in adoption and being a stepparent where the child has two parents.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2019 22:04     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
I’m surprised reading all of this because people are regularly told to call their in-laws “mom” and “dad” on here. It’s no different than stepparents.
Anonymous
Post 06/01/2019 21:59     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
To the people protesting that kids only have one mom....have you never known anyone who was adopted? Families come in all shapes and sizes, and are formed in evolving ways.

Adults should flex to makes the changes optimal for the kids having to live through them, not to assuage the adults' egos.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2019 15:02     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
My mother threw a fit about the fact that my kids call my step mother “Grandma” too. I told her she could pick a different name if she wanted, but I 100% wasn’t going to tell my stepmother’s only grandchildren (none of my siblings have kids (yet)) that they couldn’t call her Grandma (which my oldest picked out on her own). She’s actually the best grandparent to them on my side of the family, so it would seem particularly ridiculous to pretend blood somehow matters more than how my kids feel.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2019 00:08     Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
I wish we could adopt a Spanish word for godmother that is "madrina" and call stepmothers that in English. Not really a mother but mother sounding type.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2019 00:07     Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Worse case scenario if you won't be able to undo the child calling the stepmother mom, one way to look at it is that hopefully a child in heir heart will always know it is not their real mom, just like we call mom our MIL but we know that is not our mother. It is just word but the way it feels when we say it inside feels very very different.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2019 15:54     Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:My nephew told his mom that he calls his step mom “mama Liz” and her parents “grandpa joe and grandma Jane”. Apparently (according to him) she told him he’s not allowed to use those names anymore because they aren’t “real family”.

I get her perspective and the sensitivities about being “replaced” but don’t think it’s possible to replace a mother. My new SIL’s parents don’t have other children / grandchildren so it’s sad for them that their “bonus grandson” is being told they’re not family. Would you feel better (as others have suggested) if there were a term similar to - but not the same as - “mom” that would respect your special place but also allow your child to form those loving bonds with the bonus family members?


Your friend is selfish.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2019 12:31     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you can't win this I think you have to bite your tongue. Your daughter will just resent you and like cool stepmom even more if you interfere. My advice, let it go. Someday when your daughter is a mom she'll understand. But not before.


I am a mom (I posted way earlier on this thread). I have a son who calls his wonderful stepmother mom. It does not bother me. I’m so so thankful he has an awesome stepmom. Love multiplies not divides


Mods, is this kind of mature loving perspective allowed on DCUM?


Lol! That was a good one!
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2019 09:25     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you can't win this I think you have to bite your tongue. Your daughter will just resent you and like cool stepmom even more if you interfere. My advice, let it go. Someday when your daughter is a mom she'll understand. But not before.


I am a mom (I posted way earlier on this thread). I have a son who calls his wonderful stepmother mom. It does not bother me. I’m so so thankful he has an awesome stepmom. Love multiplies not divides


Mods, is this kind of mature loving perspective allowed on DCUM?
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2019 15:21     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
Anonymous wrote:OP you can't win this I think you have to bite your tongue. Your daughter will just resent you and like cool stepmom even more if you interfere. My advice, let it go. Someday when your daughter is a mom she'll understand. But not before.


I am a mom (I posted way earlier on this thread). I have a son who calls his wonderful stepmother mom. It does not bother me. I’m so so thankful he has an awesome stepmom. Love multiplies not divides
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 09:43     Subject: Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
OP you can't win this I think you have to bite your tongue. Your daughter will just resent you and like cool stepmom even more if you interfere. My advice, let it go. Someday when your daughter is a mom she'll understand. But not before.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 02:17     Subject: Re:Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”
My nephew told his mom that he calls his step mom “mama Liz” and her parents “grandpa joe and grandma Jane”. Apparently (according to him) she told him he’s not allowed to use those names anymore because they aren’t “real family”.

I get her perspective and the sensitivities about being “replaced” but don’t think it’s possible to replace a mother. My new SIL’s parents don’t have other children / grandchildren so it’s sad for them that their “bonus grandson” is being told they’re not family. Would you feel better (as others have suggested) if there were a term similar to - but not the same as - “mom” that would respect your special place but also allow your child to form those loving bonds with the bonus family members?