Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:However, despite being pro choice, I consider abortions by happy and economically stable families to be very very hard to stomach
I agree completely. The idea of aborting one of my children's siblings because I was irresponsible is disgusting to me. And I'm pro-choice.
Anonymous wrote:Mother of 4 here and I'd like to offer another perspective. Most are saying what would you do if you and your husband divorce and you are stuck as a single mother of 4?
But my question is what if he dies (or you die)? For whatever reason, people tend to leave death out of the equation, but that is exactly what happened to me. At the young age of 45, my husband died from a heart attack. Without warning I have been left to raise our 4 young children alone.
Our number 4 was also an unplanned pregnancy, and we too considered abortion. I love all of my children, but I can't say I would have chosen this path had I known I'd be on it alone.
So I say ask yourself the question of would you still go through with having #4 if your husband were to suddenly pass away, and vice versa for him.
Anonymous wrote:However, despite being pro choice, I consider abortions by happy and economically stable families to be very very hard to stomach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any advice from married couples who already have multiple kids on whether to keep or abort an unexpected pregnancy with a 4th child? (Outside of the pro-choice, pro-life discussion), If you decided to have an abortion, do you regret it and did it cause tension in your marriage? If you decided to have the kid, do you regret it and wish you had just stayed at one kid fewer? What was the impact and strain on a marriage? How is life with 4 kids and the health of a relationship?
I would look at the three children you have now and imagine if you had aborted one of them. Reflect on the pros and cons for you, as well as for the child you've chosen for this thought experiment.
Anonymous wrote:Any advice from married couples who already have multiple kids on whether to keep or abort an unexpected pregnancy with a 4th child? (Outside of the pro-choice, pro-life discussion), If you decided to have an abortion, do you regret it and did it cause tension in your marriage? If you decided to have the kid, do you regret it and wish you had just stayed at one kid fewer? What was the impact and strain on a marriage? How is life with 4 kids and the health of a relationship?
Anonymous wrote:Mother of 4 here and I'd like to offer another perspective. Most are saying what would you do if you and your husband divorce and you are stuck as a single mother of 4?
But my question is what if he dies (or you die)? For whatever reason, people tend to leave death out of the equation, but that is exactly what happened to me. At the young age of 45, my husband died from a heart attack. Without warning I have been left to raise our 4 young children alone.
Our number 4 was also an unplanned pregnancy, and we too considered abortion. I love all of my children, but I can't say I would have chosen this path had I known I'd be on it alone.
So I say ask yourself the question of would you still go through with having #4 if your husband were to suddenly pass away, and vice versa for him.
Anonymous wrote:Mother of 4 here and I'd like to offer another perspective. Most are saying what would you do if you and your husband divorce and you are stuck as a single mother of 4?
But my question is what if he dies (or you die)? For whatever reason, people tend to leave death out of the equation, but that is exactly what happened to me. At the young age of 45, my husband died from a heart attack. Without warning I have been left to raise our 4 young children alone.
Our number 4 was also an unplanned pregnancy, and we too considered abortion. I love all of my children, but I can't say I would have chosen this path had I known I'd be on it alone.
So I say ask yourself the question of would you still go through with having #4 if your husband were to suddenly pass away, and vice versa for him.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Unplanned as in birth control failure or unplanned as in you were being careless?
Why does it matter? Doesn't change the situation.
To answer OP's question-I aborted an unexpected pregnancy but I have less children than you currently have. The best I can say is make sure both of you are in agreement. I felt a bit pressured into it and it did breed some resentment. I was not 100% on board with it and do have some regrets. There is no taking it back. We ended up in counseling and that did help but we had a tough year or so. All is well now and though I do miss the idea of that child, in retrospect, I don't think my marriage would have survived another child. One thing that helps me is thinking.....do I want to be married with my current family size or divorced with one more. I do think it would have come to that.
Anonymous wrote:However, despite being pro choice, I consider abortions by happy and economically stable families to be very very hard to stomach