Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 19:04     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.


If you are there a few weeks, its a huge burden on your kids. You need to step up and take a cab or uber to the store, buy food and then cook. You should not wait around to be served 3 meals plus snacks a day. If anything, give the nanny the day off paid as there is no need for the nanny to be there every day if you are there.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 18:56     Subject: Meals when a guest
Rent a car if you don't have one, drive to the store and cook. Problem solved.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 18:50     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:Ahh this is how I want to spend my retirement. Being a mooch on my working children and not helping with grandchildren.

Get a rental car


hotel
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 18:43     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The nanny hates that you’re there. Just know that. Go out of your way to take over some of the dinner preparation, don’t expect her to cook for you, and do something with the kids. Make yourself useful not like another child that needs to be catered to.

I’m a nanny and finally had to point blank tell the kids dad that his dad was like having three additional kids around and gave examples. He expected me to prepare meals for him and got mad when I didn’t, accused me of locking him out of the house when the door was sticky from the heat and humidity, stepped in a peanut butter sandwich the toddler threw on the floor and knowingly walked around with it on his shoe ten minutes after the house cleaners left. It was really difficult having him around but the kids mom would just complain about it instead of saying something. I finally said something things improved somewhat. Don’t make the nanny have this conversation with her employers. You’re an adult. Take care of yourself and your family.


Sorry that your employer's father was a jerk, but: IDGAF if you want my ILs or parents around. When they're in town, they are free to do as they please in my house, assuming of course they behave in the normal courteous way I have always known them to behave. You, as the employee--nanny or housekeeper-- can like it or dislike it, but it won't change. Any more than me liking or disliking something my boss does is likely to change anything at my job just because it annoys me.


I’d guess you’ve had zero nannies, or else about 15 of them.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 17:00     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The nanny hates that you’re there. Just know that. Go out of your way to take over some of the dinner preparation, don’t expect her to cook for you, and do something with the kids. Make yourself useful not like another child that needs to be catered to.

I’m a nanny and finally had to point blank tell the kids dad that his dad was like having three additional kids around and gave examples. He expected me to prepare meals for him and got mad when I didn’t, accused me of locking him out of the house when the door was sticky from the heat and humidity, stepped in a peanut butter sandwich the toddler threw on the floor and knowingly walked around with it on his shoe ten minutes after the house cleaners left. It was really difficult having him around but the kids mom would just complain about it instead of saying something. I finally said something things improved somewhat. Don’t make the nanny have this conversation with her employers. You’re an adult. Take care of yourself and your family.


Sorry that your employer's father was a jerk, but: IDGAF if you want my ILs or parents around. When they're in town, they are free to do as they please in my house, assuming of course they behave in the normal courteous way I have always known them to behave. You, as the employee--nanny or housekeeper-- can like it or dislike it, but it won't change. Any more than me liking or disliking something my boss does is likely to change anything at my job just because it annoys me.


The nanny's job isn't to take care of FIL's needs beyond some basic courtesies. She has a job description agreed with the parents. Anything beyond should be negotiated in advance.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:54     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The nanny hates that you’re there. Just know that. Go out of your way to take over some of the dinner preparation, don’t expect her to cook for you, and do something with the kids. Make yourself useful not like another child that needs to be catered to.

I’m a nanny and finally had to point blank tell the kids dad that his dad was like having three additional kids around and gave examples. He expected me to prepare meals for him and got mad when I didn’t, accused me of locking him out of the house when the door was sticky from the heat and humidity, stepped in a peanut butter sandwich the toddler threw on the floor and knowingly walked around with it on his shoe ten minutes after the house cleaners left. It was really difficult having him around but the kids mom would just complain about it instead of saying something. I finally said something things improved somewhat. Don’t make the nanny have this conversation with her employers. You’re an adult. Take care of yourself and your family.


Sorry that your employer's father was a jerk, but: IDGAF if you want my ILs or parents around. When they're in town, they are free to do as they please in my house, assuming of course they behave in the normal courteous way I have always known them to behave. You, as the employee--nanny or housekeeper-- can like it or dislike it, but it won't change. Any more than me liking or disliking something my boss does is likely to change anything at my job just because it annoys me.
do your bosses parents camp out in your office, barking at everyone, and making messes for you to clean up and expecting you to feed them? Didn’t think so. If they did, I GUARANTEE you’d say something.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:49     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:The nanny hates that you’re there. Just know that. Go out of your way to take over some of the dinner preparation, don’t expect her to cook for you, and do something with the kids. Make yourself useful not like another child that needs to be catered to.

I’m a nanny and finally had to point blank tell the kids dad that his dad was like having three additional kids around and gave examples. He expected me to prepare meals for him and got mad when I didn’t, accused me of locking him out of the house when the door was sticky from the heat and humidity, stepped in a peanut butter sandwich the toddler threw on the floor and knowingly walked around with it on his shoe ten minutes after the house cleaners left. It was really difficult having him around but the kids mom would just complain about it instead of saying something. I finally said something things improved somewhat. Don’t make the nanny have this conversation with her employers. You’re an adult. Take care of yourself and your family.


Sorry that your employer's father was a jerk, but: IDGAF if you want my ILs or parents around. When they're in town, they are free to do as they please in my house, assuming of course they behave in the normal courteous way I have always known them to behave. You, as the employee--nanny or housekeeper-- can like it or dislike it, but it won't change. Any more than me liking or disliking something my boss does is likely to change anything at my job just because it annoys me.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:44     Subject: Meals when a guest
OP sounds like my MIL. Everything has to be about her and on her schedule.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:35     Subject: Meals when a guest
Honestly, if you know about DCUM and can take buses and subways, then you know how to use uber. Take an uber to a grocery store and load up on supplies. This is not a vacation for any of you. It's time to see family. Be flexible, and make yourself useful.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:17     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.


I still think this is a troll. What grandparent would show up from overseas and post on DVUM?


Bored ones sitting in a big house in a rainy day searching “houseguest food” ??


Searching “how to make my daughter in law hate me”
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:05     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.


I still think this is a troll. What grandparent would show up from overseas and post on DVUM?


Bored ones sitting in a big house in a rainy day searching “houseguest food” ??
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:04     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.


I still think this is a troll. What grandparent would show up from overseas and post on DVUM?


Maybe she's using her son's home computer and saw that they visit this site?
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:03     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:Your son told you to go to the grocery store. If you don’t like the food situation, take it up with him. You’re adults, figure it out.
Look into instacart and galley foods. Instacart will deliver all your groceries to the door and galley delivers prepared fully cooked meals.
If you can post on DCUM, either of these services are just as easy to use.


What’s not to like? Live in another persons house and eat everything you want. Then make them buy you more food that only you will eat.

What is it? pay it Backwards day? This is not a cheap time to be living in the DMV and raising children...
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:01     Subject: Meals when a guest
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are coming from another country so yes it is for a few weeks. We don’t care to drive around here so we do busses and subways. I guess we just feel differently about who should pay for and provide food when hosting. We are not from around here, we just want to play with the grandkids. The nanny is lovely.


so it comes down to who pays, huh? Very telling, OP. So you're really just a cheap mooch. Ick. I'm sure your DIL is counting the days until you leave. Do you have eyes? Do you see that your son and his family are very, very busy?


What’s busy about going to work and getting the young kids to/from school? That’s life.
Or if they are also traveling for work and the kids are taking the SATs and AP tests in may plus travel sports plus Spring break that’s BUSY.

And sorry to report if you are staying for longer than a long weekend and sitting around their house eating all the food when no one is home you absolutely sHOULD go grocery shopping with your own wallet! And always replace what you ate up!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2019 16:00     Subject: Meals when a guest
OP what do you want to happen? Their kids need to be fed on time. Do you want your son to get home from work, cook for an hour (instead of eating the meal nanny made) and then eat with you after kids are asleep? Wouldn't you rather he spend time with you and his kids?