Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I weirdly worry about the gene-pool from my DH's side of the family. They tend to drink a lot and are very dysfunctional with some diagnosed mental issues. Its all a hot toxic mess.

I worry procreating with him would mean risking my children inheriting genetic factors.

Is this a thing?

Yes, it is real. Those traits are heritable - they can be passed down genetically.

DH is an ashkenazi jew with all sorts of mental illnesses and developmental disabilities that run in his family. Our son is autistic and our daughter has a genetic disorder that pretty much only ashkenazis get.

In my case, I didn’t know his family history until after we got married because they all kept quiet about it. From time to time, I am angry about that.

This is covered in premarital counseling and by one’s OBGYN.

Premarital counseling? You write that as if it’s routine. The screening that is routine is pregnancy screening and that hits only a handful of common conditions unless one of the parents discloses a family history that suggests more is needed.

Ashkenazi genetic disorders and sickle cell anemia risks are commonly discussed very early on.

And many churches and temples have free oremartical counseling before the priest or rabbi does a ceremony. Weekend retreats are often included as well.

Yes. It's why I didn't have children biologically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I weirdly worry about the gene-pool from my DH's side of the family. They tend to drink a lot and are very dysfunctional with some diagnosed mental issues. Its all a hot toxic mess.

I worry procreating with him would mean risking my children inheriting genetic factors.

Is this a thing?

Yes, it is real. Those traits are heritable - they can be passed down genetically.

DH is an ashkenazi jew with all sorts of mental illnesses and developmental disabilities that run in his family. Our son is autistic and our daughter has a genetic disorder that pretty much only ashkenazis get.

In my case, I didn’t know his family history until after we got married because they all kept quiet about it. From time to time, I am angry about that.

This is covered in premarital counseling and by one’s OBGYN.

Premarital counseling? You write that as if it’s routine. The screening that is routine is pregnancy screening and that hits only a handful of common conditions unless one of the parents discloses a family history that suggests more is needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of weird-ass eugenics in this thread.

The cream of the joke is that these women worried about "bad genes" will turn around and spend $30,000 on IVF when they realize they waited too long to conceive without scientific intervention.

Funny, I wasn't going to say it, because I knew I'd get flamed, but people should be worried about when they reproduce just as much as with whom they're reproducing. For example, 40 year old fathers pass along twice as many genetic mutations as 20 year old fathers, and they're often much more serious (stuff linked to schizophrenia and autism).

**Cue all the posters who run in here hollering about how they didn't meet their husband until they were 37.**

Get help, women hater

I know MANY families with autistic and schizophrenic children that had fathers under 35.

Anonymous wrote:This discussion will be moot once the DNA companies share their databases with Tinder and all the other dating apps.

There is already a company that does this. They have a dating app using your genes to find a match. Voluntary of course.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of weird-ass eugenics in this thread.

The cream of the joke is that these women worried about "bad genes" will turn around and spend $30,000 on IVF when they realize they waited too long to conceive without scientific intervention.

Funny, I wasn't going to say it, because I knew I'd get flamed, but people should be worried about when they reproduce just as much as with whom they're reproducing. For example, 40 year old fathers pass along twice as many genetic mutations as 20 year old fathers, and they're often much more serious (stuff linked to schizophrenia and autism).

**Cue all the posters who run in here hollering about how they didn't meet their husband until they were 37.**

Get help, women hater

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I weirdly worry about the gene-pool from my DH's side of the family. They tend to drink a lot and are very dysfunctional with some diagnosed mental issues. Its all a hot toxic mess.

I worry procreating with him would mean risking my children inheriting genetic factors.

Is this a thing?

Yes, it is real. Those traits are heritable - they can be passed down genetically.

DH is an ashkenazi jew with all sorts of mental illnesses and developmental disabilities that run in his family. Our son is autistic and our daughter has a genetic disorder that pretty much only ashkenazis get.

In my case, I didn’t know his family history until after we got married because they all kept quiet about it. From time to time, I am angry about that.

This is covered in premarital counseling and by one’s OBGYN.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of weird-ass eugenics in this thread.

The cream of the joke is that these women worried about "bad genes" will turn around and spend $30,000 on IVF when they realize they waited too long to conceive without scientific intervention.

Funny, I wasn't going to say it, because I knew I'd get flamed, but people should be worried about when they reproduce just as much as with whom they're reproducing. For example, 40 year old fathers pass along twice as many genetic mutations as 20 year old fathers, and they're often much more serious (stuff linked to schizophrenia and autism).

**Cue all the posters who run in here hollering about how they didn't meet their husband until they were 37.**

My HS and college BF of 4 years eventually broke up with me in large part because of my mother’s extreme obesity and my father’s alcoholism, at his motherMs very strong and apparently years-long urging. I was SO betrayed and felt so wronged. My parents’ failings were not mine! I had overcome so much! I had resilience and strength!

25 years later, I get it. I really do. My life has been far harder than I would have predicted then, and my own mental health issues plus the damage of years of neglect and trauma is far, far worse than I let myself see then. (I’m glad I didn’t see it then.) One of my brothers is dead by suicide. I spent years caretaking my parents. I am nearly 50 and broke and now have obesity as well.

I am a really good person and very loving. But he has a wife now who grew up in a stable home with healthy, functional parents. They are financially secure. He chose better DNA and I actually can’t fault him, ultimately. I’m still hurt by it; I deserved better.

I chose poorly with my own DH as well. He has actual siociopatgy in his family, running rampant, and quite a strong streak of it himself. It’s far more terrifying to me than the alcoholism and obesity on my side.

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I weirdly worry about the gene-pool from my DH's side of the family. They tend to drink a lot and are very dysfunctional with some diagnosed mental issues. Its all a hot toxic mess.

I worry procreating with him would mean risking my children inheriting genetic factors.

Is this a thing?

Yes, it is real. Those traits are heritable - they can be passed down genetically.

DH is an ashkenazi jew with all sorts of mental illnesses and developmental disabilities that run in his family. Our son is autistic and our daughter has a genetic disorder that pretty much only ashkenazis get.

In my case, I didn’t know his family history until after we got married because they all kept quiet about it. From time to time, I am angry about that.

The genetic issues that pop up in my family are horrendous which is why a number of family members don’t have kids. We use DE and so glad we did.

Anonymous wrote:This discussion will be moot once the DNA companies share their databases with Tinder and all the other dating apps.

Not to mention the insurance companies and employers. All the more reason to avoid them.

This discussion will be moot once the DNA companies share their databases with Tinder and all the other dating apps.

My husband and I both have issues that run in our families. We are aware of these and are ready to intervene early if they pop up in our kids. We both did genetic testing before TTC, so we know that we arent carriers for anything life-threatening. You can't control everything so you'll have to rely on the strength of your relationship to pull you through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ADHD is not a disease. It is poorly defined even as a condition or disorder of any kind. I’d call it a fashionable way of being annoyed with people

I'd call you ignorant and possibly an idiot and/or a jerk.

+1.

“Fashionably annoyed” = Hillbilly who watches too much reality television.