Anonymous
Post 03/11/2019 17:01     Subject: Re:RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:I think this post should be tagged for all eternity on DCUM. Perhaps the most self-absorbed thing I have ever read on this site.
Yes, this one should go down in the history books!
Anonymous
Post 03/11/2019 09:18     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your friend / spouse lost a brother and the kids lost an uncle and the grandma lost a son and you are begrudging them spending time together because the kids are missing your party?

Please leave them alone.

It’s not about this party - it’s about kids being used as tools to make someone happy. It’s not healthy.
My mom was depressed when I was a teenager. I missed a lot of parties to make her happy. In hindsight it was emotional abuse. I feel bad for the kids to be used like this.


What? I'm not understanding this. The kids aren't being "used" for anything. Visiting someone when they are down is what normal, caring people do. Sure, going to a party is always preferable to just about anything but the "right" thing to do is spend time with grandma when she is feeling down to help lighten her spirit. You've got it all wrong.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 12:24     Subject: Re:RSVP cancellation
I think this post should be tagged for all eternity on DCUM. Perhaps the most self-absorbed thing I have ever read on this site.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 11:15     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Yes, OP. Go ahead and say something, and be sure to tell the other people who let their kids hang around with yours what you did, too.

(Come on, everyone. This is obviously a troll.)
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 11:06     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Going to see your grieving grandma after losing your uncle is not about using people as an emotional crutch. People support each other, that is a good thing. Families bond together during times of grief.


Exactly!

OP sounds like a selfish person.

It’s actually the opposite of being selfish. I’m worried about the welfare of children.
1. There’s no goody bags – it doesn’t impact goody bag count.
2. We are over the package amount of attendees, so them not coming saves me money. If I was selfish I would be happy they’re not coming.
3. I am close to my family. And I’ve lost many people in my family. Three of my cousins died in their early 20s – 2 in car accidents and 1 to cancer. I have seen the grieving of a parent when they loose a child. And I’ve seen healthy examples of grieving as well as unhealthy coping.
4. There should be a balance between grieving and allowing your children to have fun. Their grandmother lives 10 minutes away from them, they could go over there before or after the party. This would allow the children to still have some normalcy in their lives.[b]
5. Happiness needs to come from within. Using other people for happiness is only a short term solution, and should not be a coping mechanism.


Ah, how astute of you to realize that attending your parent would by the k my way to have the kids have some normalcy in their lives.

Attending your party...
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 11:05     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Going to see your grieving grandma after losing your uncle is not about using people as an emotional crutch. People support each other, that is a good thing. Families bond together during times of grief.


Exactly!

OP sounds like a selfish person.

It’s actually the opposite of being selfish. I’m worried about the welfare of children.
1. There’s no goody bags – it doesn’t impact goody bag count.
2. We are over the package amount of attendees, so them not coming saves me money. If I was selfish I would be happy they’re not coming.
3. I am close to my family. And I’ve lost many people in my family. Three of my cousins died in their early 20s – 2 in car accidents and 1 to cancer. I have seen the grieving of a parent when they loose a child. And I’ve seen healthy examples of grieving as well as unhealthy coping.
4. There should be a balance between grieving and allowing your children to have fun. Their grandmother lives 10 minutes away from them, they could go over there before or after the party. This would allow the children to still have some normalcy in their lives.[b]
5. Happiness needs to come from within. Using other people for happiness is only a short term solution, and should not be a coping mechanism.


Ah, how astute of you to realize that attending your parent would by the k my way to have the kids have some normalcy in their lives.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 11:04     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my parents were ill my child might volunteer to skip a party. I think you need to give kids more credit.


As a parent you say you made a commitment to someone else and you honor that first.


This is a general rule but the exception would be that family comes first, even more so in times of need.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 09:50     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:Are you crazy?! Say nothing!


+1
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 08:17     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:If my parents were ill my child might volunteer to skip a party. I think you need to give kids more credit.


As a parent you say you made a commitment to someone else and you honor that first.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2019 07:56     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Anonymous wrote:My son’s birthday party is this afternoon. I just got a text from one of the families invited ( Family friends, our kids are the same age) that they aren’t coming... because they decided to visit grandma (local) because she’s depressed - her son, the kids’ uncle - died suddenly last month in her home. Seeing her grandkids makes her happy, so they’re skipping the party today.
I don’t think it’s healthy for the grandchildren to be used as emotional crutches, especially skipping a party where they would see friends they don’t get to see very often. I’m tempted to text back something to that effect but I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship.
Would you say anything?
We’ve got a lot of children coming to the party, so it’s not about the party itself. I just feel bad for the kids that they’re going to miss out on fun and instead have to cheer up grandma, in the house when their uncle died.


This post has bothered me a lot. You are upset because someone decided to visit the depressed grandmother who recently lost her son. Are you that self important that you do not realize that other people have problems in there life, and you might not be the first priority.

You remind me of my DD's 5th grade teacher who publicly called out DD for not getting a homework assignment done. Why did she not get it done? Um the day the assignment was given, I had surgery for metastatic cancer, and after school, she visited me. Teacher was aware of this.

It is the same thing.

Everyone is allowed to set their own priorities in life. They value the grandmother's well being over a party that is going to have many other kids.

And you do have the right to be a supercilious twit.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2019 13:28     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Lord, please tell me this is a fake post. Unbelievable to me that anyone would think in this warped way!
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 10:22     Subject: RSVP cancellation
If my parents were ill my child might volunteer to skip a party. I think you need to give kids more credit.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 10:08     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Your instinct may be completely right on. Or for all you know it's a made up excuse. Whatever the case, there's nothing you can do or say to change what the family will do.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 09:26     Subject: RSVP cancellation
Oh my GOD! Please please do text her and tell her you think she is a terrible mother and then report back.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2019 07:36     Subject: RSVP cancellation
At least they texted and told you they weren’t coming vs. just doing a no show