Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

No, it's only racist if you only ask people who are not white where they are really from. If a white person answered they were from Pittsburgh, would you try to find out if their mother is from Germany or their father from Poland? If a person does not have an accent, why would you assume that the person's ethnicity is relevant and a conversation starter? I know many people like me who have absolutely no knowledge of their family ancestry or customs.

What people don't realize is that in the 1950's to 1970's there were many families and Asian Americans who suffered a lot of racism and abuse from anti-Japanese sentiment post-WWII. During that time, it was very common for Asian Americans to raise their children completely American and to hide their family ethnicity and culture. So I know households where it was forbidden to speak the original native language, they did not teach their children the native language and they did not pass on any of the cultural heritage. They wanted their children to be as American as possible to avoid racism and abuse. It was also common that Asian families hung prominent American flags outside their homes and proudly showed their patriotism for America to ensure they were "proud Americans" and not from Asia. Racial abuse--physical, social and emotional--was very common against Asians in that era. And there are many of us that a children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren who were completely sheltered from their cultural heritage and forbidden to learn about it. So, it can be a sensitive topic to try to pry into a heritage or cultural background that has been suppressed. I know many people including my family and friends who suffered some form of abuse for being Asian.

So you can try to pry into someone's cultural heritage, but if they're Asian, don't be surprised if they resist your efforts to try to pidgen-hole them as Asian just for your conversational kicks if they give you non-Asian answers. They may not identify or known much about their heritage.

Saturday school?

Originally. But I also spent a lot of time with my parents and their friends when I was in high school. Being the only one speaking English in a group speaking another language isn't fun. So I ended up learning conversational Chinese. I have about a high school level of speaking colloquial Mandarin, but don't know many technical words. And my accent comes and goes depending on how recently I've used it. After I've spent a week with my parents, my accent is much less evident.

Anonymous wrote:What I find interesting about people who get offended by the "where are you from?" question and subsequent doubts is that they feel the person asking is ignorant about what people of specific ethnicities or cultural backgrounds can look like.

But how can those people ever learn otherwise if they don't ask people?? They will learn and become less ignorant from people who engage them in conversations.

I'm from Brasil and I've frequently gotten the "no, you're too white to be Brasilian" reaction. Which leads to me telling them about how Brasil is melting pot of immigrants just like the US., something they might not otherwise learn had they not asked me about my background.

Ola!

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and have had white friends ask me where my family is originally from. I truly don't know (British? German?) but it has sparked interesting conversations. I liked hearing about my friend's family being Scandinavian and how her region all immigrated to a small town in Wisconsin. This isn't just something that white people ask brown people. I've lived overseas and travel a lot. I'd love to hear about where your family is from in Cambodia or India.

It's true that people do sometimes ask white people where their families are from. But the conversation will go something like this:

White person 1: "Where are you from?"
White person 2: "Wisconsin."
White person 1: "I know a lot of Scandinavian immigrants settled in Wisconsin. Does your family have Scandinavian heritage, too?"
White person 2: "I don't know. But our next-door neighbor sure loved her some lutefisk!"

They do not go like this:

White person: "Where are you from?"
Not-white person: "Wisconsin."
White person: "But where are you really from?"
Not-white person: "Wisconsin."
White person: "But where are you from originally?"
Not-white person: "Wisconsin. I was born in Milwaukee."

It's not just asking "where are you from" or asking where someone's family is from originally. It's the pushing back on the idea that a non-white person must really be from somewhere else. It just astounds me that people refuse to understand the difference or accept that it can be offensive. It's not offensive to you, white American person, because no one ever suggests that you aren't really from the US.

If you want to ask someone about their family history and heritage, ask them. Just don't ask them in a way that implies that they aren't really from the US after they tell you that they are.

I understand, but how often does that happen? Each person who asked 'where are you from' also asked 'no, but really where are you from?'?!

It happens a lot. A lot.

That's a very vague answer. But you're quick to call innocent people racist.
Only in America!

I get asked this frequently, even more now than earilier in life. My mother is NA and my father is a WASP but I look like my mother and have been asked if I am: NA, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Israeli, Irish, Sardinian, Italian, Portugeuse, Spanish, Greek, Argentine, Brazilian, Panamanian, and Filipino (that one really threw me).

People dont like hearing I was born and raised in the same town in Virginia. If I tell them I am NA they start their nit picking (what tribe? how were you raised? is that how you got into such a good college?). Elizabeth Warren isnt helping. People ask very intrusive and personal questions, even if we just met. So I don't play that game.

Be careful how you ask questions. Just because you're curious doesn't mean it isn't rude.

What I find interesting about people who get offended by the "where are you from?" question and subsequent doubts is that they feel the person asking is ignorant about what people of specific ethnicities or cultural backgrounds can look like.

But how can those people ever learn otherwise if they don't ask people?? They will learn and become less ignorant from people who engage them in conversations.

I'm from Brasil and I've frequently gotten the "no, you're too white to be Brasilian" reaction. Which leads to me telling them about how Brasil is melting pot of immigrants just like the US., something they might not otherwise learn had they not asked me about my background.

Anonymous wrote:I am and sick and tired people asking where I am from, because when I tell them I am Hispanic they don't believe me. Eh why are you going to ask if you not going to believe it. Are all Hispanic suppose to look the same? If that is the case then all white people are Racist Trump supporters.

If you dated a Hispanic and he/she/it didn't look like a Hispanic do you think they are lying? What is so wrong with being darker Hispanic? FYI I am also educated not all Hispanics are uneducated

I don't believe is racism I just believe its dumb.

Wow. I work at the world bank and this question is asked all day long. No one has an issue with it, and even the white, or black or brown Americans openly say where they’ve lived, what languages they may speak, their homeland (so to speak).

OP—> This is not the city to get your knickers in a racist twist when someone asks where you’re from. Frankly no city in world is. I have been asked this when living or working or studying or vacationing in many many countries as people want to talk and connect and know you.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

So now it's racist to ask someone's heritage?

It's not. It's racist to act like someone who looks Asian isn't really from the US, but must be from somewhere else. If you want to know someone's heritage, you say, "What is your family's heritage?" not "But where are you really from?"

No one discussed is “acting like a racist” nor “acting you like aren’t really from the U.S”.

People want to know where you’re from. That involves three responses- where you were born & grew up (Bronx, Ny) , where you live now (DuPont circle), and where your parents /grandparents are from (Haiti).
You certainly can go be a jerk and keep repeating the Bronx or that you’re American BR never talk about your heritage or culture or foods you like or music you grew up with.
Maybe I’ll ask you about your favorite baseball team or Elvis Presley song or your favorite national park orbwhat sports you follow.

Maybe I’ll even ask you what you most love about America and why you (like to) live here.

I'm white and have had white friends ask me where my family is originally from. I truly don't know (British? German?) but it has sparked interesting conversations. I liked hearing about my friend's family being Scandinavian and how her region all immigrated to a small town in Wisconsin. This isn't just something that white people ask brown people. I've lived overseas and travel a lot. I'd love to hear about where your family is from in Cambodia or India.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone: “ Where are you from?”
Me: “I’m from Williamsburg”
S: “you have an accent. What country are you originally from?
Me: “I’m a fellow American, in this country we all have accents”
S: “But you look like from another country”
Me: “Our ancestors came from different countries. We all look different”

I would bucket you as a self-centered snob who goes out of your way to not anser questions on your heritage.
And I wouldn’t bother talking with you again. If we had to work together I would, but I’d still think you were a snob with a chip on your shoulder and a lot of misplaced anger.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Someone: “ Where are you from?”
Me: “I’m from Williamsburg”
S: “you have an accent. What country are you originally from?
Me: “I’m a fellow American, in this country we all have accents”
S: “But you look like from another country”
Me: “Our ancestors came from different countries. We all look different”

I would bucket you as a self-centered snob who goes out of your way to not anser questions on your heritage.
And I wouldn’t bother talking with you again. If we had to work together I would, but I’d still think you were a snob with a chip on your shoulder and a lot of misplaced anger.

Nobody actually gives a shit where you are from, they're just making conversation.

I read your post, OP, and you sound exactly like the person you are complaining about.
FWIW, people think I'm Russian. Russians walk by me like I'm not Russian or even Slavic, which I'm not. So been there, done that. People simply have an idea about you before they ask and they are very surprised to find that they are wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It's racist when the question is based on the assumption that someone isn't fully or truly American, despite being born here, because of how they look. That somehow, even if they are second- or third- or fourth-generation American, they are still foreign. It's not the first question ("Where are you from?") it's the pushback and the refusal to accept an answer that doesn't match the asker's preconceptions.

I understand, but how often does that happen? Each person who asked 'where are you from' also asked 'no, but really where are you from?'?!

It happens a lot. A lot.