Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 23:31     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate the term redshirt when used in this context. This isn’t about playing a college sport. It’s about developmental appropriate expectations in kindergarten and your child’s readiness.
I did however send my August birthday girl to kindergarten when she was 6, not 5. I’ve taught kindergarten for nearly 20 years, it was an easy choice. She is now in middle school and I’m even happier with my choice than I was when she was 5/6.


I'm interested in this. What about your experience as a kindergarten teacher made it an easy choice, and what benefits have you seen now that she is in middle school?


It was an easy choice because I know that 5 year old children are not developmentally ready for what kindergarten requires
Of them now. They are not meant to spend their days doing worksheets and drilling sight words or phonics or addition and subtraction facts with one adult to 25 small beings. They are meant to be free to explore their world with support and guidance. They need attention paid to their social emotional development. I knew that would not be my daughter’s experience in kindergarten and I chose to give her an extra year to grow. Not so that she could be better than the other kids but so that she could have a better, more meaningful experience and be more able to cope with the transition to the real world of big school.
As for the long term benefits, she is more emotionally mature than her friends. She is able to stay out of the drama and is a wonderful friend. She is a natural leader. Is some of this her natural personality? Probably. But I do believe that the year before going to kindergarten helped her grow into the person she is.


Disagree. You are sending a child to school, not preschool. It is where they are supposed to learn. They are not doing addition and subtraction in K, but learning numbers, letters, colors, reading, etc. If you had a good preschool or engaging parents, many kids go in knowing that. If you are worried about large classes, send them to a smaller private, like we did.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 23:29     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s not a clear-cut decision to hold a boy back! At most, it should be a clear-cut YES to send a girl on time and maybe slightly less clear for a boy, but only slightly. This is getting ridiculous. The only kids I knew who waited were girl twins that only barely made the cutoff (but wouldn’t have if they’d been born at term) and had mild SN. And a boy with an even earlier birthday that just “didn’t seem ready”— but that mom completely regretted holding him back.


That's a huge gender bias. I know I wouldn't want my child to be a 19 year old senior for the entire year dating 17-18 year old girls. You don't know what kids will be like later on so its a huge guessing game but most kids will rise to the challenge.
You have your ages wrong. An August birthday will only ever be 18 in high school, even if red shirted. They won't turn 19 until after college has started the next fall. They will be a 19 yo college freshman.


No, I have a September child, not August. If I held him back, he'd start college technically at 18, but turn 19 that September, a few weeks in. I don't want a 19 year old freshman. Or, like you said be 18 the entire senior year, which is bad as then they are adults, parents have no rights basically.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:48     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We sent our DD with a Labor Day birthday on time. It's been a tough K year. By chance, she ended up as the youngest in her class by 2 months. More than half of her class was 6 by Christmas, but she's not even 5.5 yet. She's a head shorter than most of the class and visibly younger.

She was in the principal's office every other day for the first month of school. She's still on a behavior plan. She does fine academically and during normal classroom work, but struggles with impulse control and transitions. She can't seem to keep her body to herself when Iining up. She's out classed socially on the playground and tends to get in trouble for doing annoying things, like continuing to chase someone after they've asked her to stop. And she doesn't fit in in the lunchroom, as she hasn't yet figured out how to do small talk. She tends to end up poking a neighbor or wiggling and falling out of her chair. It's all little stuff, but it adds up. I think she'd probably fit in better in a pre-k class for young 5s.

It will be interesting to see if her K teacher thinks she should move on to 1st. She's fine academically and during structured activities, but really struggles with transitions and unstructured time. A 1st grade teacher is going to have much less patience for the maturity stuff. By sending her on time I often feel like I've created a behavior problem out of a kid who would have been very successful if we just happened to live somewhere with Sept 1 cutoff.


That isn't fully normal for a 5 year old and maybe something else more is gong on?
No one has come up with anything except maturity, despite paying for private testing last summer. A lot of this stuff also dies down in a more preschool-like environment. She wasn't ready for so much sitting.

As far as we can tell, this is her normal. She's always been at the trailing edge of normal for both language and social skills, but always improving. She's always been at the leading edge for physical activities. She was walking before 9 months. She could pedal a tricycle at 15 months. She could ride a two wheeled bike on a 5 mile trail ride with us at 4 yo. She could do a perfect dive off the diving board into the deep end by 4.5 yo. Maybe something will make itself apparent eventually, or not. We're working on figuring that out.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:47     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We sent our DD with a Labor Day birthday on time. It's been a tough K year. By chance, she ended up as the youngest in her class by 2 months. More than half of her class was 6 by Christmas, but she's not even 5.5 yet. She's a head shorter than most of the class and visibly younger.

She was in the principal's office every other day for the first month of school. She's still on a behavior plan. She does fine academically and during normal classroom work, but struggles with impulse control and transitions. She can't seem to keep her body to herself when Iining up. She's out classed socially on the playground and tends to get in trouble for doing annoying things, like continuing to chase someone after they've asked her to stop. And she doesn't fit in in the lunchroom, as she hasn't yet figured out how to do small talk. She tends to end up poking a neighbor or wiggling and falling out of her chair. It's all little stuff, but it adds up. I think she'd probably fit in better in a pre-k class for young 5s.

It will be interesting to see if her K teacher thinks she should move on to 1st. She's fine academically and during structured activities, but really struggles with transitions and unstructured time. A 1st grade teacher is going to have much less patience for the maturity stuff. By sending her on time I often feel like I've created a behavior problem out of a kid who would have been very successful if we just happened to live somewhere with Sept 1 cutoff.


That isn't fully normal for a 5 year old and maybe something else more is gong on?


Not abnormal for a young 5 in kindergarten.
—- K teacher
Ps: what is the teacher doing to support her with transitions and making friends? The best k teachers understand that this is just as important as the academics.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:41     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hate the term redshirt when used in this context. This isn’t about playing a college sport. It’s about developmental appropriate expectations in kindergarten and your child’s readiness.
I did however send my August birthday girl to kindergarten when she was 6, not 5. I’ve taught kindergarten for nearly 20 years, it was an easy choice. She is now in middle school and I’m even happier with my choice than I was when she was 5/6.


I'm interested in this. What about your experience as a kindergarten teacher made it an easy choice, and what benefits have you seen now that she is in middle school?


It was an easy choice because I know that 5 year old children are not developmentally ready for what kindergarten requires
Of them now. They are not meant to spend their days doing worksheets and drilling sight words or phonics or addition and subtraction facts with one adult to 25 small beings. They are meant to be free to explore their world with support and guidance. They need attention paid to their social emotional development. I knew that would not be my daughter’s experience in kindergarten and I chose to give her an extra year to grow. Not so that she could be better than the other kids but so that she could have a better, more meaningful experience and be more able to cope with the transition to the real world of big school.
As for the long term benefits, she is more emotionally mature than her friends. She is able to stay out of the drama and is a wonderful friend. She is a natural leader. Is some of this her natural personality? Probably. But I do believe that the year before going to kindergarten helped her grow into the person she is.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:26     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s not a clear-cut decision to hold a boy back! At most, it should be a clear-cut YES to send a girl on time and maybe slightly less clear for a boy, but only slightly. This is getting ridiculous. The only kids I knew who waited were girl twins that only barely made the cutoff (but wouldn’t have if they’d been born at term) and had mild SN. And a boy with an even earlier birthday that just “didn’t seem ready”— but that mom completely regretted holding him back.


That's a huge gender bias. I know I wouldn't want my child to be a 19 year old senior for the entire year dating 17-18 year old girls. You don't know what kids will be like later on so its a huge guessing game but most kids will rise to the challenge.
You have your ages wrong. An August birthday will only ever be 18 in high school, even if red shirted. They won't turn 19 until after college has started the next fall. They will be a 19 yo college freshman.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:25     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:We sent our DD with a Labor Day birthday on time. It's been a tough K year. By chance, she ended up as the youngest in her class by 2 months. More than half of her class was 6 by Christmas, but she's not even 5.5 yet. She's a head shorter than most of the class and visibly younger.

She was in the principal's office every other day for the first month of school. She's still on a behavior plan. She does fine academically and during normal classroom work, but struggles with impulse control and transitions. She can't seem to keep her body to herself when Iining up. She's out classed socially on the playground and tends to get in trouble for doing annoying things, like continuing to chase someone after they've asked her to stop. And she doesn't fit in in the lunchroom, as she hasn't yet figured out how to do small talk. She tends to end up poking a neighbor or wiggling and falling out of her chair. It's all little stuff, but it adds up. I think she'd probably fit in better in a pre-k class for young 5s.

It will be interesting to see if her K teacher thinks she should move on to 1st. She's fine academically and during structured activities, but really struggles with transitions and unstructured time. A 1st grade teacher is going to have much less patience for the maturity stuff. By sending her on time I often feel like I've created a behavior problem out of a kid who would have been very successful if we just happened to live somewhere with Sept 1 cutoff.


That isn't fully normal for a 5 year old and maybe something else more is gong on?
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:23     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
We sent our DD with a Labor Day birthday on time. It's been a tough K year. By chance, she ended up as the youngest in her class by 2 months. More than half of her class was 6 by Christmas, but she's not even 5.5 yet. She's a head shorter than most of the class and visibly younger.

She was in the principal's office every other day for the first month of school. She's still on a behavior plan. She does fine academically and during normal classroom work, but struggles with impulse control and transitions. She can't seem to keep her body to herself when Iining up. She's out classed socially on the playground and tends to get in trouble for doing annoying things, like continuing to chase someone after they've asked her to stop. And she doesn't fit in in the lunchroom, as she hasn't yet figured out how to do small talk. She tends to end up poking a neighbor or wiggling and falling out of her chair. It's all little stuff, but it adds up. I think she'd probably fit in better in a pre-k class for young 5s.

It will be interesting to see if her K teacher thinks she should move on to 1st. She's fine academically and during structured activities, but really struggles with transitions and unstructured time. A 1st grade teacher is going to have much less patience for the maturity stuff. By sending her on time I often feel like I've created a behavior problem out of a kid who would have been very successful if we just happened to live somewhere with Sept 1 cutoff.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:17     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
My August DD went to school on time. She was four the week before school started. So glad we sent her on time because she’s doing great. Had she been my first I probably would have redshirted her out of fear. But for her, it would have been a bad idea.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:16     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
We’re in the process of making this decision too. We’ve applied to four private schools. Two suggested holding our daughter back and sending her to pre-k again, and two recommended moving her forward. Her birthday is two weeks before the cut-off. Her current teachers think she’s ready, so I’m leaning toward sending on time, but we’re having a hard time deciding.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:11     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s not a clear-cut decision to hold a boy back! At most, it should be a clear-cut YES to send a girl on time and maybe slightly less clear for a boy, but only slightly. This is getting ridiculous. The only kids I knew who waited were girl twins that only barely made the cutoff (but wouldn’t have if they’d been born at term) and had mild SN. And a boy with an even earlier birthday that just “didn’t seem ready”— but that mom completely regretted holding him back.


That's a huge gender bias. I know I wouldn't want my child to be a 19 year old senior for the entire year dating 17-18 year old girls. You don't know what kids will be like later on so its a huge guessing game but most kids will rise to the challenge.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:10     Subject: Re:Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
I have two children with September birthdays. Sent them on time. No issues whatsoever and we can’t imagine having held them back.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:08     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
And I hated being the youngest. Shrug.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 22:05     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
My parents did this to me 30+ years ago, in a district where the cut off is December 1.

I hated it. I never felt in sync with my classmates. I made friends in the class I should have been in. Then they all left for college. My senior year was miserable. I was annoyed to still be stuck in high school.

Academically I was bored all the way through with a couple exceptions in specials classes. I was top of my class in everything without really having to work for it, so I never really learned how to manage time or study properly, then felt overwhelmingly unprepared in college where everyone was smart, but many had way better study habits than me. I think my parents made the wrong call and it wasn’t based on me personally, it was based on my mother being an upper grade math teacher and her experience that kids who had stayed out an extra year were better able to handle upper level math.
Anonymous
Post 02/11/2019 21:42     Subject: Did you redshirt your August girl? Why or why not?
OP, it’s not a clear-cut decision to hold a boy back! At most, it should be a clear-cut YES to send a girl on time and maybe slightly less clear for a boy, but only slightly. This is getting ridiculous. The only kids I knew who waited were girl twins that only barely made the cutoff (but wouldn’t have if they’d been born at term) and had mild SN. And a boy with an even earlier birthday that just “didn’t seem ready”— but that mom completely regretted holding him back.