Anonymous wrote:Know a ivy-educated doctor with 4 going on 5 whose kids are always put-together, mom looks put together (not some fitness model, but slender and dresses fine), kids are clearly well-cared for and incredibly sweet. No nanny/local family but they manage. Great family.
I actually know several mom's with 4+ kids. Very common in my area. Many well-educated parents, a few that seem to be a little overwhelmed, but most seem to manage their households just fine.
DH is a doctor and I can think of a handful of female doctors with 4 kids. One is a surgeon with a stay at home husband. Another female surgeon we know works at an Ivy League hospital. Academic jobs are often salaried and you have more time for research and administrative work. Third doctor I can think of is very well put together and she got pregnant with first child when she was a teenager so she was in college with a baby. Every one of these female doctors come from good families. I’m fairly certain they all had some family help (time and/or money) during med school and residency.
Two kids seems more common for women able to juggle work and kids. You also need a spouse who does equal or more than you.
DH is a surgeon and works 60 hours per week. He has cut down from 70-80 hrs per week. We have 3 kids and I’m responsible for all drop offs, pick ups and sick days. DH would never cancel surgery for a snow day nor would he cancel clinic because school had a 2 hour delay because it was cold.
For a woman to be able to have 4 kids and an amazing career, you need the husband to be the default parent. Those reverse gender roles aren’t totally accepted yet.