Anonymous wrote:Teachers are getting fired left and right for refusing to call trans students by their names and saying "it's against my religion" (usually 'Christian') to call them their chosen trans name. OP sounds like she's headed toward that. You can't decide it's against your religion to call someone their name. Especially their legal, given name. SHE DIDN'T PICK THIS NAME.

"left and right"? So, many teachers are being fired for this? Funny, I haven't heard of a single teacher fired for refusing to call a student by his or her chosen name.

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to follow up for those who were curious. The rabbi said that it would be ok to call said student by name. Thanks for encouraging me to call. I feel better going into this with his blessing.

I've got to say, however, that I was really disgusted by all the negative and nasty comments. I don't think it was very nice to jump to conclusions about my character. I was simply trying to gain some perspective. Hopefully you'll think twice before slinging the nasty comments. Or not. Your choice. Thanks to those who showed empathy and gave my quandary some real thought. It was helpful to hear your comments.

New poster -

I want to suggest you reflect, especially as a kindergarten teacher. You did not present yourself as very open minded, willing to adapt, or kind / compassionate.
To quote you:

"I'm actually a little pissed off. I don't mind people naming their kids whatever they want, but this smacks of ignorance and disrespect.

I even feel weird writing the word. I don't feel comfortable saying that name outside of prayer. Considering calling her by her last name...Miss ______. WWYD?

How, pray tell, am I hurting her by calling her Miss ( add her last name)?
?I have rights too, you know.?"

She's a FIVE year old. You're a grown woman. Think about that. Come ON. You really wanted to belittle and dehumanize her. Get over yourself, or maybe consider a new career.

What secret about them is being disclosed for it to violate confidentiality? So there's a kids with this name. and?

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to follow up for those who were curious. The rabbi said that it would be ok to call said student by name. Thanks for encouraging me to call. I feel better going into this with his blessing.

I've got to say, however, that I was really disgusted by all the negative and nasty comments. I don't think it was very nice to jump to conclusions about my character. I was simply trying to gain some perspective. Hopefully you'll think twice before slinging the nasty comments. Or not. Your choice. Thanks to those who showed empathy and gave my quandary some real thought. It was helpful to hear your comments.

You are violating students confidentiality by putting their name on here given its an unusual name for a child.

Anonymous wrote:



It is related to the Phoenican "Adon" and Greek "Adonis", which means respectively "lord" and "beauty and desire".

I would not be certain that this child's name is a deliberate reference to the Hebrew God, and therefore somehow restricted.

That presupposes that whether it is restricted relates at all to whether it is a deliberate reference to a Hebrew deity. It seems very clear that it was not a deliberate reference, but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with whether OP can use the name because the namer's intent doesn't necessarily matter.

It is related to the Phoenican "Adon" and Greek "Adonis", which means respectively "lord" and "beauty and desire".

I would not be certain that this child's name is a deliberate reference to the Hebrew God, and therefore somehow restricted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can be angry. I have heard this as a name, particularly in African American / inner city, quite frequently - with absolutely zero connections to Judaism. Likely, this family did not know/connect it with the Jewish meaning, and thought it sounded beautiful.

It's not disrespectful if they chose it because they had a neighbor or cousin named it and thought it was beautiful.

Just as you have freedom of religion, they have freedom to not participate and not to know every single little rule and quirk of every other religion, especially one of multiple lesser known words for a deity.

+1

Yeah, it's hard because you want people to know that this is sacred to you. But, it's not common knowledge, as evidenced per this thread. And, she didn't name herself. You cannot disrespect her and dehumanize her and belittle her because you disagree with a choice her parents made. Your religion comes second. Her education and her as a PERSON come first.

I am Jewish and I basically agree with this. However if you really feel you won't be able to do this, I think you should ask your principal if they child can be transferred to another class. You absolutely can't call her "Miss last name", it would be mean to single out a five year old this way.

I wanted to follow up for those who were curious. The rabbi said that it would be ok to call said student by name. Thanks for encouraging me to call. I feel better going into this with his blessing.

I've got to say, however, that I was really disgusted by all the negative and nasty comments. I don't think it was very nice to jump to conclusions about my character. I was simply trying to gain some perspective. Hopefully you'll think twice before slinging the nasty comments. Or not. Your choice. Thanks to those who showed empathy and gave my quandary some real thought. It was helpful to hear your comments.

I'm Orthodox, OP, and wow, what a question. I'd have to ask my rabbi and then abide by his psak. First there's the issue of erasing it if it's written down, and second there's the issue of saying the name in vain, which is a serious prohibition. But it is possible that in this context there is no status of holiness--I asked my rabbi what to do with missionary literature that had YKVK in it and he said there was no status of kedusha in such context and I was safe to throw the whole thing in the garbage. So I have no clue. Ask a shayla and let us know!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just treat it like a homonym. This child is not God so it shouldn’t be a problem.

Exactly. (And for those who don't know, Adonai is Hebrew for "My Lord." It is NOT the name of God, which in the Jewish tradition is not to be pronounced, although I just learned from Wikipedia that "Adonai itself has come to be too holy to say for Orthodox Jews." see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_God_in_Judaism#Adonai)

And as others said, if you are having difficulty, discuss this with your rabbi, not with internet strangers.

True, but then I wouldn't have learned something new that I managed to miss in all my Catholic upbringing. Besides, I find the discussion interesting.
Thanks, OP.

I am not a Jew, but have many Jewish friends and have celebrated many holidays including Passover with them regularly.

My understanding was that the proscription was against the name of the Lord, e.g. the name that is mispronounced Jehovah (from the Tetragrammaton, YHWH). Adonai is one substitute that is used in place of the sacred name. While you are not supposed to use the name lightly, Adonai is not the actual name of G-d, but the substitute that is allowed for prayer. In this case, using the name as the proper name of a person does not reference the Lord and using it as the person's name is using the name with irreverence.

If you cannot bring yourself to use the child's name, you need to work with your school to transfer the child to a teacher who can teach her without causing a problem. If you cannot use her name, you should not be teaching her. Singling her out by addressing her differently than all other children in your class should not be an option. That would be a dereliction of your responsibilities as a teacher.

Does she have a nickname? Like Addy? Otherwise, I agree with the pp’s who say you need to be the bigger person here.

It is completely inappropriate to post a child's name like that. Quit. Problem solved.

I’m Jewish and had a student with that name. I called him by it because it’s his name. I felt a bit odd doing it, but did it nonetheless because it’s his name. Talk to your rabbi about it.

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are getting fired left and right for refusing to call trans students by their names and saying "it's against my religion" (usually 'Christian') to call them their chosen trans name. OP sounds like she's headed toward that. You can't decide it's against your religion to call someone their name. Especially their legal, given name. SHE DIDN'T PICK THIS NAME.

That's a flawed comparison. Christianity doesn't prohibit calling someone Michael or Michelle. It is far from clear that simply using someone's new name would legitimately constitute acceptance/approval for someone transitioning -- which would violate Christian rules under some interpretations.

In contrast, using the name itself violates Jewish law -- under some interpretations.