Can you clarify ‘running hot water’?

I can’t imagine a 4 story home not having a geyser. Even small cheap apartments have geysers. Do you want a constantly running hot water tank, like in America? That would be so wasteful. Plus, come summer the last thing you’d care about is hot water.

I would move to India (just not Delhi) in a heartbeat. I lived there for a year and loved it.

You can’t expect everything to be like here, you have to adapt. This goes for anyplace in the world you would move to. As far as not having to do much, you are a guest. I would hope that if you decided to live there that you would pitch in and be a participating member of the family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but only if there was a maid and/or cook. Doing that stuff on my own for my child and myself in a foreign country would not be as worth it without American conveniences I’m familiar with. If someone else is shopping and cooking then I’d be packing my bags.

I don't get how OP's family is upper middle class. I thought India was the same as Latin America. Everyone who is upper middle class has a maid.

Op here. My husbands family has a lot of women who do not work so maybe they enjoy doing household work? They do not watch tv often or use the internet. I think they would be bored without things to do around the house. That's the impression I get.

Anonymous wrote:Yes but only if there was a maid and/or cook. Doing that stuff on my own for my child and myself in a foreign country would not be as worth it without American conveniences I’m familiar with. If someone else is shopping and cooking then I’d be packing my bags.

I don't get how OP's family is upper middle class. I thought India was the same as Latin America. Everyone who is upper middle class has a maid.

Yes but only if there was a maid and/or cook. Doing that stuff on my own for my child and myself in a foreign country would not be as worth it without American conveniences I’m familiar with. If someone else is shopping and cooking then I’d be packing my bags.

I'd compromise and visit more often.

Not unless I was being paid to work there and generously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is something my husband and I have discussed as he could possibly move there for work (we're not Indian). I lived in India for 8 months many years ago. I would be concerned about illnesses that are more common there, because your young child is more susceptible. I got very sick...food poisoning, but also a virus that was so bad I had to get tested for malaria. Saw my elderly neighbor die of another mosquito-borne illness while I was there. And pollution was terrible. I personally wouldn't do it, but if I had family there I would consider it. Also, I remember the lack of hot water...could you possibly buy them an instant/tankless water heater?

Op here. My husband says his uncle who lives across the street has running hot water so I can shower there until they get it installed here. After reading this forum I am leaning towards NOT staying in India. My son is having so much fun here. He doesn't have relatives where we live in the US. I have a very small family and my siblings do not have children or have a desire to have any in the future.

Go home and make new friends. Seek out people who have children your son’s age. Go to the park, sign up for mommy & me. It’s a much easier route to entertaining your child than living in India!

Op here. My son has lots of friends in the US but it's not the same as playing with family. We're moving out of state when we return to the US so I will have to make new friends. It's not difficult for me to make friends in the US because we no longer live in the DC area. That is one perk of moving away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is something my husband and I have discussed as he could possibly move there for work (we're not Indian). I lived in India for 8 months many years ago. I would be concerned about illnesses that are more common there, because your young child is more susceptible. I got very sick...food poisoning, but also a virus that was so bad I had to get tested for malaria. Saw my elderly neighbor die of another mosquito-borne illness while I was there. And pollution was terrible. I personally wouldn't do it, but if I had family there I would consider it. Also, I remember the lack of hot water...could you possibly buy them an instant/tankless water heater?

Op here. My husband says his uncle who lives across the street has running hot water so I can shower there until they get it installed here. After reading this forum I am leaning towards NOT staying in India. My son is having so much fun here. He doesn't have relatives where we live in the US. I have a very small family and my siblings do not have children or have a desire to have any in the future.

Go home and make new friends. Seek out people who have children your son’s age. Go to the park, sign up for mommy & me. It’s a much easier route to entertaining your child than living in India!

Anonymous wrote:This is something my husband and I have discussed as he could possibly move there for work (we're not Indian). I lived in India for 8 months many years ago. I would be concerned about illnesses that are more common there, because your young child is more susceptible. I got very sick...food poisoning, but also a virus that was so bad I had to get tested for malaria. Saw my elderly neighbor die of another mosquito-borne illness while I was there. And pollution was terrible. I personally wouldn't do it, but if I had family there I would consider it. Also, I remember the lack of hot water...could you possibly buy them an instant/tankless water heater?

Op here. My husband says his uncle who lives across the street has running hot water so I can shower there until they get it installed here. After reading this forum I am leaning towards NOT staying in India. My son is having so much fun here. He doesn't have relatives where we live in the US. I have a very small family and my siblings do not have children or have a desire to have any in the future.

Anonymous wrote:I bet more would be expected of you if you were there all the time versus just a visitor for a month. I think you guys should take extended visits instead for a month or two at a time.

As of now you're their guest. If you move in with them your experience would be totally different.

This is something my husband and I have discussed as he could possibly move there for work (we're not Indian). I lived in India for 8 months many years ago. I would be concerned about illnesses that are more common there, because your young child is more susceptible. I got very sick...food poisoning, but also a virus that was so bad I had to get tested for malaria. Saw my elderly neighbor die of another mosquito-borne illness while I was there. And pollution was terrible. I personally wouldn't do it, but if I had family there I would consider it. Also, I remember the lack of hot water...could you possibly buy them an instant/tankless water heater?

I = I’ll
N = Never
D = Do
I = It
A = Again

Ha. No. And I say this as an Indian-American who visited grandparents and extended family in India once a year as a child. Some things about India are nice, but for a few weeks, not a year. The quality of life there in general is shitty. And I would not subject a small child to the air quality there either - it’s very polluted.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2009/aug/30/india-punjab-children-uranium-pollution

Articles like this about water contamination in India would make it a no for me, especially with children or if I planned to have children.

I would do some serious research on the pollution in your area OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not do anything that would require me to live life with a small child without running hot and clean water.

OP didn't say she was without clean water. She said she was without running hot water. Big difference.

"Running hot and clean water" was my requirement. Clean cold water would not be enough for me.

Ok, enjoy living in the highly developed world, but you'll be missing out on some amazing experiences. Even in Europe there are some cold water flats, and it's much colder than India (where a hot shower isn't a necessity). OP may miss her hot shower, but there are huge benefits in terms of availability of family members, inexpensive childcare, amazing fruits and vegetables year round and fantastic places to visit.

None of this trumps clean hot water.

And with regards to cheap labor, many Americans are rightfully squeamish about paying indentured servant wages or having people live like slaves for their convenience.

Who said OP needs to pay “Slave wages?” That which would be illegal in India. Nothing wrong with hiring a good childcare worker and household help and paying a fair wage. It’s a win-win situation.