Anonymous wrote:Why do people have kids? No logical reason these days. Just a deep-seated, evolutionarily adaptive instinct to procreate, and a desire to leave a biological legacy.

I'm a woman, but not a kid person. Never was. Nonetheless, I freaking adore my 7yo--awesome kid. Nothing logical about it.

Anonymous wrote:Troll

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

Anonymous wrote:OP reminds me of my dad. We, his four kids, were all happy when he died at age 66.

My own kids had their moments as teens but overall I have always enjoyed their company and enjoyed raising them. They are adults now and we are good friends.

Anonymous wrote:None. We are DINKS. Love it. We get to live 100% debt free. Will retire abroad at 51. Kids drain your bank account and savings. How many people in this region are overstretching on their mortgage payments just so they can send to their kids to the GOOD schools in MoCo rather than the ones in say Wheaton or Hyattsville? If you don't have kids you can give 0 craps about schools and having to overpay for a home. 'I don't want to die alone!' .....meh. Bad excuse. I actually DO want to die alone and in peace. Everyone thinks kids are fantastic. I've known families in this area who make close to $1 million per year who have given their kids every single opportunity in the book, yet the devolve into losers who sling drugs and end up robbing banks. There is no guarantee at all that if you have a kid that and raise them right with opportunity that they'll still turn out OK.

Too much risk. I love being a DINK with 0 debt and only have to worry about myself.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you raised them badly. GIGO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

Mow you know how ypur parents felt abput you. Sucks doesnt it? You should have stopped at one.

It's unfair to compare OP's experience with his kids. Remember, when OP was a kid, he probably didn't cost his parents beyond the food they fed him and boys were happy with a bicycle and didn't need all the Fortnite, Xbox BS that they have today. I can understand where OP is coming from because it's the truth. Children are a time and money suck and the only reason people can still choose to have them and not go crazy and bankrupt is to justify to themselves how much they love their kids, and how their kids will continue the bloodline. The concept of parental love is actually a 20th century ideal as parents never used to have kids deliberately but rather just had unprotected sex. That's how families ended up with 5,6,7,8 children. But those were also the days when children typically worked to support the family and younger siblings and occupied an adult's role through work and weren't economically useless like they are today. With the advent of birth control and women's autonomy over their reproductive decisions, people can choose to not have ANY children. Saves money and heartache.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been kind of surprised at how unenjoyable large parts of the having kids enterprise has been.

On an UMC income, you can often end up with precious little left over for any kind of enjoyment luxuries once you have coughed up for what is not expected for UMC kids -- music lessons, extensive SAT tutoring, test prep; daycare; sports lessons, daycamps, more tutors, driving lessons, orthodontics, etc. It's entirely possible to be UMC and still live in a tiny house and drive old cars while saving all your money for college.

It seems like the only way around that is to only have one child.

I also was simply not prepared for the fact that today expectations are that you will be "on" all the time with your kids, that you have to go over every homework assignment, stay at the music lesson with them, know all the kids' friends, be at the elementary school seemingly all the time volunteering, that you will use up all your leave some years just staying home with sick kids and volunteering at school with no time left over for a vacation. (In other words, parenting seems like a lot more fun in Europe than it does in the US what with maternity leave, generous summer vacations and a lot less parental input into the schools.)

I also didn't expect it would feel so damned lonely. If your kids are doing well at something -- music, athletics, school -- you may find that you are therefore surrounded by competimommies who want to race your musician against theirs, your athlete against theirs. Not a lot of real true friendship there. If your kid has issues, people will avoid you.

I've been amazed at how stressful parenting is in this environment, how lonely it is and how expensive it is. It is not at all what I envisioned. The kids are great but all the other stuff kinda sucks.

Can’t you fight back on some of this stuff and not just go along with it?

I’m not going to volunteerr much at a school and certainly won’t use my vacation time for it. Don’t want my kids in many activities because it’s a waste of time and money. I don’t make friends through my kids so competimommies shouldn’t be an issue. I have plenty of sick leave. Saving for college is really the only thing you mentioned I agree with. The rest is truly optional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

Mow you know how ypur parents felt abput you. Sucks doesnt it? You should have stopped at one.