Anonymous
Post 01/24/2019 08:46     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:Four of our five are college grads. The youngest is in college now. They all went to SEC schools. They all have great jobs. No one is living in my basement. And most importantly, none of them have a dime in student loans. Two of them got ROTC scholarships. Two of them received merit aid. I have a national merit scholar and we did no test prep at all. Ever. There was zero stress associated with the applying to college. Literally none. I read the dcum threads and just shake my head. Don’t look to dcum for college advice. Or really, any parenting advice. This site is more for comic relief than anything else.


Lol, what Utopia is this?

5 Perfect situations?

Anonymous
Post 01/23/2019 11:39     Subject: Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Check out College Confidential -- lots of info on merit aid schools and lots of happy parents and kids posting about their experiences at those schools.


College Confidential is an echo chamber of lonely state school parents who've been posting the same responses to each other for 10-15 years.



New poster and I agree with the first PP above to try CC.

Second poster sounds like a DCUM-ite who prefers the snark and meanness on DCUM. CC doesn't have that.

Give CC a try, OP--but not for a long time yet; wait until your kids are much closer to college age.


You are probably in the wrong forum then (Parents). The rest of CC are kids.

Anonymous
Post 01/23/2019 11:34     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I have found my tribe. Thanks for the reality check.


OP, we have the exact same mindset; however, I am heartsick that my kids feel so much pressure to get into a "name brand"/ top 30 school. It's not healthy, whether or not they achieve that goal. Nothing we say seems to penetrate. I'm not sure if it is the schools we chose for them or this area in general where both public and private schools can be very hard-charging. I don't know how old your kids are, but I wish we had considered that an "elite academic" reputation does not ensure the most positive wholistic experience, particularly with respect to high school choice.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2019 09:13     Subject: Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:K-12 is soooooo much more important.

Sidwell + UMich > being an irrelevant fish out of water after lucking into an Ivy


haha

sorry this made me laugh.

Sorry you spent a small fortune on Sidwell and then didn't get anything for your efforts (Ivy league).

The name on your college diploma matters 10000% more than k-12.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2019 18:16     Subject: Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Been a long time lurker on DCUM and I have to say the college talk is really starting to scare me. Do people really believe that of the over 2000 colleges in America you can only go to 30 or so places? ... We just don't believe that top schools are the only choice, its just not that serious. Are we alone in thinking this way?


Nobody thinks their kid's life is ruined if their kid doesn't get into a top 10 or 30 or whatever. But those top schools have very generous financial aid and are 100% full of the most talented students in the world. So, ethos which promotes dreaming big, connections for life and great dating pool. And no doors are closed with regard to best job offers. If the kid heads to a less prestigious school, the financial aid is shittier, there are many untalented kids there, there's more risk. The network and dating pool is hit or miss. Doors are absolutely closed. It's not THAT dramatic, but there are very distinct differences. Period.



Hahaha! I hope this is sarcasm. Sometimes it’s hard to tell on dcum.


It’s not sarcasm. I can think of many universities where your kid could instead come out an opioid addict instead of a scholar. No thanks.

Like Columbia? No thanks!
https://www.thedailybeast.com/drug-bust-nets-five-columbia-students



The Columbia kids were all in frats. There’s the problem. Not the Ivy League
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2019 18:15     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:My brother, full ride Ivy, is a d**k, no moral compass, not as bright as you'd think and a narcissist. Handed out biz cards to docs (unsolicited) over my father's deathbed. Still mentions alma mater, also unsolicited. He did marry within the cess•pool though, a full ride Wharton alum. She's a peach, too. So there's that.

If you must know. I am six years younger, financially secure and my moral cup runneth over. My alma mater is a 4 year city university, in tandem with a full time job, no debt, 200k salary at 27. Cared for my parents until the end, 24/7 with DH and DS support. DS is a kind and selfless young man and the real bright light.

Just thought I'd throw my sweeping generalization over the fence!

Your serve...


Don’t you think your brother would have been a dick if he went to VTech, Pitt, UMD or wherever?
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2019 15:21     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My brother, full ride Ivy, is a d**k, no moral compass, not as bright as you'd think and a narcissist. Handed out biz cards to docs (unsolicited) over my father's deathbed. Still mentions alma mater, also unsolicited. He did marry within the cess•pool though, a full ride Wharton alum. She's a peach, too. So there's that.

If you must know. I am six years younger, financially secure and my moral cup runneth over. My alma mater is a 4 year city university, in tandem with a full time job, no debt, 200k salary at 27. Cared for my parents until the end, 24/7 with DH and DS support. DS is a kind and selfless young man and the real bright light.

Just thought I'd throw my sweeping generalization over the fence!

Your serve...



This is not a post written by someone with a strong moral compass. A little self-awareness would serve you well.


+1 . And what is all of this "full ride" nonsense. Unless you're low income you're not getting a full ride.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2019 14:49     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Friends' DC (not URM) with a 1300 SAT and A/B AP-student....was waitlisted at VTech, and got into JMU and UPitt.
Anonymous
Post 01/22/2019 14:11     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My brother, full ride Ivy, is a d**k, no moral compass, not as bright as you'd think and a narcissist. Handed out biz cards to docs (unsolicited) over my father's deathbed. Still mentions alma mater, also unsolicited. He did marry within the cess•pool though, a full ride Wharton alum. She's a peach, too. So there's that.

If you must know. I am six years younger, financially secure and my moral cup runneth over. My alma mater is a 4 year city university, in tandem with a full time job, no debt, 200k salary at 27. Cared for my parents until the end, 24/7 with DH and DS support. DS is a kind and selfless young man and the real bright light.

Just thought I'd throw my sweeping generalization over the fence!

Your serve...



This is not a post written by someone with a strong moral compass. A little self-awareness would serve you well.


I understood her just fine. Are you her SIL?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 15:32     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:My brother, full ride Ivy, is a d**k, no moral compass, not as bright as you'd think and a narcissist. Handed out biz cards to docs (unsolicited) over my father's deathbed. Still mentions alma mater, also unsolicited. He did marry within the cess•pool though, a full ride Wharton alum. She's a peach, too. So there's that.

If you must know. I am six years younger, financially secure and my moral cup runneth over. My alma mater is a 4 year city university, in tandem with a full time job, no debt, 200k salary at 27. Cared for my parents until the end, 24/7 with DH and DS support. DS is a kind and selfless young man and the real bright light.

Just thought I'd throw my sweeping generalization over the fence!

Your serve...



This is not a post written by someone with a strong moral compass. A little self-awareness would serve you well.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2019 01:00     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just started a thread asking if anyone else has a kid applying to med school. Kid was late bloomer and is attending mediocre at best undergrad (NO where near top 30). Has two med school acceptances so far.


Congratulations!!!!


Thanks! Now it is five. Waiting to hear from five more.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 23:32     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are being an idiot.
First of all the bill will be at least 100k by the time your kid gets to college.
Second of all, when your kid earns a spot to one of the top universities in the country all on his own you’re not going to turn around and send him to state school.
Stop the stupid grandstanding.


Um. Plenty of people do. My daughter was accepted into two Ivys. She turned them both down for University of Florida. She graduated three years ago. Has a job making just under 100,000 a year. And ZERO student loan debt. I would say she is in much better shape than most young adults.


Hi Mom of Five!

One of the Ivy’s your DD turned down was Brown,right? And your DD is a National Merit Scholar who could have had her choice of any school in the country because it’s not like there are any other NMS out there??
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 21:35     Subject: Is it that serious?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Check out College Confidential -- lots of info on merit aid schools and lots of happy parents and kids posting about their experiences at those schools.


College Confidential is an echo chamber of lonely state school parents who've been posting the same responses to each other for 10-15 years.



New poster and I agree with the first PP above to try CC.

Second poster sounds like a DCUM-ite who prefers the snark and meanness on DCUM. CC doesn't have that.

Give CC a try, OP--but not for a long time yet; wait until your kids are much closer to college age.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 20:48     Subject: Re:Is it that serious?

No one on this site should be commenting on the academic job market without stating their bona fides. The difference between top ten placement and a tenure track job at a top 100 is hard to discern because these jobs are tight -- especially in the humanities and social sciences.

Whatever the differences in students between top and very good colleges, the differences in faculty are less pronounced. And the differences among the faculty are driven by research rather than teaching.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2019 20:45     Subject: Is it that serious?

Good thing you aren’t bitter . . . .