Anonymous
Post 12/19/2018 08:30     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sure, fine, it worked out. But what if she hadn’t gotten in? Lotta eggs in one basket and could have been a big mess. Also it’s rare for kids that young to know absolutely what they want to study or do, or for that matter where they want to go to school. My first later realized his dream college from a young age wasn’t at all what he wanted when the time came.


This. If she hadn’t gotten in, she’d be stuck with an extracurricular that would do her little good at other top schools.

Figured out the school. It has always attracted artsy kids and would have no problems attracting film types. My guess is that the kid is stronger in this area than OP thinks.


Which school?


Is it Brown? Seems like a Brownie thing.


I also think it must be Brown.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2018 09:36     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
I know you want to sound "above it all" OP, but you sound snarky and jealous to me. Yes, some parents are smart. Don't fault them for being smarter than the average Joe.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 19:53     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
At the end of the day, what does the kid want?

I am walking that fine line with our kid right now

I have noticed moments when I am pushing more than she is. I am accepting that as my cue to step back.

When they get to college you will not be there to manipulate the situation.

That is the tricky position we parents find ourselves in.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 16:41     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sure, fine, it worked out. But what if she hadn’t gotten in? Lotta eggs in one basket and could have been a big mess. Also it’s rare for kids that young to know absolutely what they want to study or do, or for that matter where they want to go to school. My first later realized his dream college from a young age wasn’t at all what he wanted when the time came.


This. If she hadn’t gotten in, she’d be stuck with an extracurricular that would do her little good at other top schools.

Figured out the school. It has always attracted artsy kids and would have no problems attracting film types. My guess is that the kid is stronger in this area than OP thinks.


Which school?


Is it Brown? Seems like a Brownie thing.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 15:14     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sure, fine, it worked out. But what if she hadn’t gotten in? Lotta eggs in one basket and could have been a big mess. Also it’s rare for kids that young to know absolutely what they want to study or do, or for that matter where they want to go to school. My first later realized his dream college from a young age wasn’t at all what he wanted when the time came.


This. If she hadn’t gotten in, she’d be stuck with an extracurricular that would do her little good at other top schools.

Figured out the school. It has always attracted artsy kids and would have no problems attracting film types. My guess is that the kid is stronger in this area than OP thinks.


Which school?
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 14:14     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:Our neighbor is a bit obsessed with one particular top college for her DD, and has been for years. Starting the summer before her DD’s sophomore year in highschool, she signed her up for pre college summer courses at said school

If the girl didn't do the pre-summer courses at the school, what would she have done? I'd bet there would have been appropriate intellectual summer activities regardless. So the girl went to this one. Did she hate it? I'd say 'no' given she applied ED.

Anonymous wrote:, and continued to find what I now perceive to be smart ways to build a case of genuine interest. Finally, said school announced they were opening a new film department and the DD targeted her extracurricular towards demonstrating an interest in film and, you guessed it, she specifically targeted that major in her application essays.

Was the girl railroaded into film when she really wanted to be a math major? Or is this an interest she had and suddenly there was a natural fit? If the girl is legitimately interested in film, no harm here.


Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, this girl stood out for interest over the years and by applying to a new program for which the school wanted to build its reputation and fill its seats. Now, with results out this past week (she was accepted ED) I started looking at my neighbor as brilliant and wished my brain worked this way and that I had provided more strategic guidance to my DD who was going through the process at the same time. I am kicking myself. Am I the only one that didn’t get on this train early enough?

This story really comes down to what the daughter wants. OP, did she come across as a girl without a sense of what she wants to do? Or was she always interested in film and was thankful for Mom's help?
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 11:54     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t admission reps figure this out? If they stopped falling for the hype perhaps their schools would reflect an even more creative class of artsy types? Or whatever types they are seeking.


The smart ones at selective schools have figured this out to some extent. They discount all of the BS summer programs and service trips. But if the parent is conniving enough to play the long game it is hard to cut through the BS.


It’s the service trips that are so obvious. A true server would be volunteering at least biweekly for a year plus. But the 1-2 week summer service trips are obvious even to me
Signed
Mom


Schools aren't stupid. When they see some magical commitment to service emerge in a child's junior year in HS they know the motivation.


True, but people who can pay to send their kid to lots of service trips can also probably afford to pay full price for college. So while it may not convey altruism, wealth isn't a detriment to admission anywhere
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2018 11:48     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:There is helicopter parenting, and then there are the bulldozers. This is one of those Utah mine bulldozers that are the size of a house.

Pathetic actually. Good for the applicant, but sheesh.


It's tough out there! I see nothing wrong with parents helping their kids get into top schools.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 21:42     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
There is helicopter parenting, and then there are the bulldozers. This is one of those Utah mine bulldozers that are the size of a house.

Pathetic actually. Good for the applicant, but sheesh.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 21:07     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t admission reps figure this out? If they stopped falling for the hype perhaps their schools would reflect an even more creative class of artsy types? Or whatever types they are seeking.


The smart ones at selective schools have figured this out to some extent. They discount all of the BS summer programs and service trips. But if the parent is conniving enough to play the long game it is hard to cut through the BS.


It’s the service trips that are so obvious. A true server would be volunteering at least biweekly for a year plus. But the 1-2 week summer service trips are obvious even to me
Signed
Mom


Schools aren't stupid. When they see some magical commitment to service emerge in a child's junior year in HS they know the motivation.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 21:06     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:Which “top 10” school accepted an unhooked, unpackaged girl? All top stats? URM and/or full-pay ED? Sorry, had to ask since I’m so cynical nowadays.


An Ivy and I didn't say she wasn't unpackaged.....she packaged herself. Not URM and yes, full pay. 99 percentile on standardized test and top 10% of her class. We provided support when asked but let her drive the entire process from end to end. That might not be the right approach for every child but it was for ours and it all turned out just fine.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 20:19     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t admission reps figure this out? If they stopped falling for the hype perhaps their schools would reflect an even more creative class of artsy types? Or whatever types they are seeking.


The smart ones at selective schools have figured this out to some extent. They discount all of the BS summer programs and service trips. But if the parent is conniving enough to play the long game it is hard to cut through the BS.


It’s the service trips that are so obvious. A true server would be volunteering at least biweekly for a year plus. But the 1-2 week summer service trips are obvious even to me
Signed
Mom
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 19:50     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Yea, you probably could have done a little more, but some
Parents don’t do anything and their kids turn our find
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 19:46     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Which “top 10” school accepted an unhooked, unpackaged girl? All top stats? URM and/or full-pay ED? Sorry, had to ask since I’m so cynical nowadays.
Anonymous
Post 12/16/2018 19:25     Subject: Did I not do enough to help my DD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The parent in the OP's post manufactured her child's entire backstory to fit a narrative she thought would make her an attractive applicant. It is the most cynical and inauthentic approach to college admissions I've heard in recent memory. It has nothing to do with your signing up some random children for a week long course. And your writing is atrocious......did you go to UVA?


This makes zero sense in the current environment. Do you think this neighbor was the only person who heard about the new program? The top colleges are deluged with piles of "story" apps. They accept only the tiny group of applicants who have achieved something that suggests rare skill. An essay on one's interest in film doesn't cut it, nor do a few years of film-specific extracurriculars. The more likely story is that the neighbor's kid won some kind of award or otherwise has more going for her than OP thinks.


Sure, not every parent is a sociopathic helicopter parent attempting to compensate for some flaw in their child and a deficiency in their own history.