Anonymous wrote:Oh I have one more question about pics. I photograph well and can figure out how to create the most flattering, yet accurate pics. But … IRL, nobody actually looks like an IG model when you're chewing food on a date, or having bright LED light shine on your 50-yr-old skin, etc.

Aren't guys who picked you >>>on the basis of your pics<<< going to be necessarily let down when they see that you're a human and not a filtered instagram photo? Even celebs look different from very close up.

How does this play out, I'm asking. Thanks

Never been an issue since I always use unfiltered, not photoshopped photos taken in natural light. The most I do to a photo is crop. My photos look like me and I am older than you and any words/descriptions are minimal. Never had any complaints after meeting in person. Also, I always do video chats before meeting to make sure the guy is not using 20 yr old photos or whatever.

Don’t filter or manipulate the photos. Just use photos that are flattering but are a true depiction of you. Any guy worth your while will be relieved that you look like your photos generally ( not 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier) and isn’t going to be expecting perfection from every angle or that your skin, hair, whatever looks exactly the same all the time as in that one photo...

Oh I have one more question about pics. I photograph well and can figure out how to create the most flattering, yet accurate pics. But … IRL, nobody actually looks like an IG model when you're chewing food on a date, or having bright LED light shine on your 50-yr-old skin, etc.

Aren't guys who picked you >>>on the basis of your pics<<< going to be necessarily let down when they see that you're a human and not a filtered instagram photo? Even celebs look different from very close up.

How does this play out, I'm asking. Thanks

OP back again — thank you for all the advice and the tutorials. I really don't know what I'm doing here, so the script suggestions and photo specifics were more useful than you realize.

I am encouraged to hear that at least some people understand what I'm after and that they think it's possible. Not easy or the most common scenario, but ….possible. I work erratic and demanding hours as an "emergency room physician" (something very similar, I'm trying not to out myself). It's interesting that many PPs assume that because I have only approx. 1 day a week to devote to romance, that means I'm seeking a f%*k buddy or superficial FWB.

I know, because I've lived it, that there's a middle point between f-buddy and hoping to get remarried/find step-dad for my teen. I will take the advice not to be overly specific. That hadn't occurred to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd maybe consider a professional matchmaker to find this specific a scenario. I haven't used one myself, but it seems like you want a particular arrangement, and don't have much free time to devote to dating a lot of people to find it. And online is largely a numbers game unless you get really lucky out of the gate.

As a guy, I imagine going to a matchmaker and saying, "I want a FWB for regular NSA sex" -- and they'd laugh and say "yeah you and every other guy in the world, but finding attractive women who are up for it is the problem".

NP. Did you read the thread? OP is a woman. I've a personal friend in a matchmaker and I know if OP takes this advice, she'll be set up in no time.

Yes, I know OP was a woman. My point was that the supply of women willing to provide NSA FWB sex is probably vastly smaller than the demand from men who want that. So if I go to the matchmaker, as a guy, he'll say, "get in line behind 300 other guys".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd maybe consider a professional matchmaker to find this specific a scenario. I haven't used one myself, but it seems like you want a particular arrangement, and don't have much free time to devote to dating a lot of people to find it. And online is largely a numbers game unless you get really lucky out of the gate.

As a guy, I imagine going to a matchmaker and saying, "I want a FWB for regular NSA sex" -- and they'd laugh and say "yeah you and every other guy in the world, but finding attractive women who are up for it is the problem".

NP. Did you read the thread? OP is a woman. I've a personal friend in a matchmaker and I know if OP takes this advice, she'll be set up in no time.

Anonymous wrote:I'd maybe consider a professional matchmaker to find this specific a scenario. I haven't used one myself, but it seems like you want a particular arrangement, and don't have much free time to devote to dating a lot of people to find it. And online is largely a numbers game unless you get really lucky out of the gate.

As a guy, I imagine going to a matchmaker and saying, "I want a FWB for regular NSA sex" -- and they'd laugh and say "yeah you and every other guy in the world, but finding attractive women who are up for it is the problem".

A couple o things: tell people what you want not just what you don't want. Understand that most people are not forthcoming (you should be though). There are two types of men to avoid: those that want to get together on day 1...they are often looking for a hookup, and those that drag it on...they may be married.

I've never done it, so no tips, just good luck to you, OP. (I mean that nicely, not snidely. Sometimes it's hard to tell in these posts.)

I'd maybe consider a professional matchmaker to find this specific a scenario. I haven't used one myself, but it seems like you want a particular arrangement, and don't have much free time to devote to dating a lot of people to find it. And online is largely a numbers game unless you get really lucky out of the gate.

Meet in person within 2 wks of online contact. If they cannot meet in person within 2 wks, they either want a penpal and/or don't have time for a real life relationship/FWB.