At my school people did not start showing up at the library u til after 1pm, started to really become crowded after 6pm on Sunday.

Sometimes frats and sororities would have an enforced "study period" in the late afternoon or after dinner, but precious little studying occurs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

That is your usually. At my school, the library was packed on Sunday mornings by 10.

Does it reek of alcohol and are most of the kids still drunk from the night before? If not, that is not my definition of "hard partying".

Yeah, college is supposed to be the time of your life, bro!
Make it more obvious you went to a Tailgate State, sweetie.

Going to the library at 10am means nothing if your head resting on the book and you are sound asleep......unless, of course, you were one of those lucky ducks who learned via osmosis.

I don't care when they study as long as they are studying and giving themselves time to prepare. If they are doing everything last minute that'll come back to bite them and they will need to wise up fast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, sleeping in on the weekends is a given. I see no reason she should have to get up early on a Sunday to study, if she has the rest of the day/night free.

Well if you also know she did nothing academic Friday nights and all day on Saturdays it becomes very concerning.

She's in college. Why would any of you know whether your kid is doing anything "academic"??

Because we’re writing $30,000 checks twice a year. And she already expressed academic strain.

I still maintain that your level of surveillance on a college student is crazy. You're well within your right to set a line in the sand but she needs to face natural consequences or she will never learn.

Yeah this is beyond. You make it sound like an unwanted burden. Let your daughter life her life.

I was a straight A college student and some weekends I... didn’t even study at all. Gasp.

Libraries, for me, were conducive to napping. I'd find myself a little cubile, stack my books just so and put my head down.

I studied in my room or the SUB (student union building).

My DS played a sporting event on Saturday, for his college, they were back in their college town by 11pm. He slept in, till late, and was in the library maybe around 1pm? And stayed till 10pm, apart from eating. I know because he asked me to edit his paper(I am an expert in that subject and he only needed some commas...) But, this is sophomore year, he definitely had the same issue his freshman year, I think it was late October when he realized that this is not HS and there are no redos and then he got his act together. They have to learn on their own, and most do. So, maybe relax op and tell you DD that you know she will realize how important it is to study. And if she doesn't, there ins't much you can do, other than stop paying for it, which if she is flunking you should do.

Exam weeks, by 10 am. No exams/large projects due, like noon time on sundays.

Anonymous wrote:I remember college. My parents could afford to call me once a week, and I got a letter once a month unless it was a moth when I was going home for break.

Times have changed.

College tuition was $3,000 a year 30 years ago. Now private is $50,000!

In 1980 only 15% of adults had bachelors degrees. Now nearly 40% of millennials do!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

That is your usually. At my school, the library was packed on Sunday mornings by 10.

Does it reek of alcohol and are most of the kids still drunk from the night before? If not, that is not my definition of "hard partying".

Yeah, college is supposed to be the time of your life, bro!
Make it more obvious you went to a Tailgate State, sweetie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are gps apps used by tens of millions of families. It’s not stalking or tracking. It’s just an app. If I feel like checking where she’s at, I can. Big whoop. So can hundreds of her friends on Snapchat.

In this instance it’s allowing me to see she’s not being serious about getting more confident in her studies. If you feel overwhelmed (her words!) you have to outwork others around you. No Fri Sat studying and then sleeping in Sunday is being immature and lazy.

I almost always studied in my room, often on my bed in college.
If my parents had been tracking me, they would have seen me in my college dorm, but I studied a lot. I just didn’t like the library and didn’t like to waste time leaving my room.

The real issue is not that she is still in her rooom on Sunday morning, it’s that you don’t think she is studying enough. I intend to tell my children that my paying their tuition is contingent on them maintaining a certain GPA. If they fall below the minimum GPA, then they will need to take out student loans to cover tuition.

Agreed, I never studies in the library in either undergrad or frad school. I got straight As. The few times I went to the library specifically to check something out, everyone there “studying” seemed to be chatting and socializing.

I also agree— by college all you can do is say I will pay tuition if you get xyz GPA. Anything else is micromanaging on a crazy level.

Finally, you may know but in general, a student can only take out loans out in their name for very small amounts, around $5500 or so for freshman year. Anything beyond that almost always requires a parent to cosign. If you cosign its your credit on the line. I tell my kid, if you dont maintain your GPA, you will be leaving college and pursuing the life of a minimum wage worker. Because I am not putting my credit on the line and $5500 is a drop in the bucket for most school’s tuition etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

That is your usually. At my school, the library was packed on Sunday mornings by 10.

Does it reek of alcohol and are most of the kids still drunk from the night before? If not, that is not my definition of "hard partying".

I remember college. My parents could afford to call me once a week, and I got a letter once a month unless it was a moth when I was going home for break.

Anonymous wrote:These are gps apps used by tens of millions of families. It’s not stalking or tracking. It’s just an app. If I feel like checking where she’s at, I can. Big whoop. So can hundreds of her friends on Snapchat.

In this instance it’s allowing me to see she’s not being serious about getting more confident in her studies. If you feel overwhelmed (her words!) you have to outwork others around you. No Fri Sat studying and then sleeping in Sunday is being immature and lazy.

I almost always studied in my room, often on my bed in college.
If my parents had been tracking me, they would have seen me in my college dorm, but I studied a lot. I just didn’t like the library and didn’t like to waste time leaving my room.

The real issue is not that she is still in her rooom on Sunday morning, it’s that you don’t think she is studying enough. I intend to tell my children that my paying their tuition is contingent on them maintaining a certain GPA. If they fall below the minimum GPA, then they will need to take out student loans to cover tuition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to let go

Exactly. This is extreme helicoptering & will only drive her away.

This. But go ahead, keep using your phone to stalk and harass her because tuition. Let us know when she announces she’s pregnant by some low life.

Over 40% of kids who begin at a university never earn a degree. Millions of immature kids are in college just for social not academic pursuits. Parents like OP are getting taken to the cleaners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a “work hard, player harder” top public university. The best tables/areas in the popular study locations were totally full by 11am on Sunday. Even partying sorority girls were there by then. If your child is sleeping in and loafing around they’re being an immature bum.

I don't know how you would roll out of bed after a night of partying into the wee hours of the morning and then roll into the library by 10 or 11 the next day, prepared to study. That would be brutal.

Usually they sleep until noon on a Sunday and start studying around 2pm. They might stay up until 2am studying. That is plenty of studying.

That is your usually. At my school, the library was packed on Sunday mornings by 10.