Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

+1 This is the last chance you have to make sure your lessons about how to be an adult have worked. So way, way more hands off than high school, but not as hands off as your are after college graduation. There's a balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

Yes. They are adults. My kid is not some investment I expect a pay out on. He's an individual. I CHOOSE to pay his tuition. He chooses to use the money wisely (good grades) or not.

He gets one shot from me. I am not going to micro manage him or pay a second go around.

Time you let the "kids" figure it out and stop using money as a means to extend your control beyond its natural end point

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

Not that pp. But by the time they go off to college they really do need to do this stuff for themselves. You have absolutely zero control over whether or not they are doing their homework, going to study group, taking advantage of the tutoring center and/or professor's office hours. They are either self motivated to do this or they are not.

You sitting at home monitoring their grades and nagging them afar will accomplish nothing. I personally think that asking them about semester grades is o.k., as is asking them how they like their major and what their schedule is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, this is way too much, especially if you're considering tracking individual assignments and logging into your kid's portal! If you're paying for their college, I do think that gives you the right to ask about final grades though.

Well, if they're not doing the practice sets you can be pretty damn sure they're going to bomb midterms. Wouldn't you rather address that NOW before they fail a few courses first semester? Or if they're getting crummy p-set scores in math or stats, you could encourage a tutor.

As the mom of college grads, I'm astounded by this. They are adults. Are you planning to follow them to work to make sure they are keeping up?

Oh come on. College students aren't "real" adults. You are paying for their colllege and most likely their living expenses. It's ridiculous to compare monitoring your college student's grades with following them to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They aren't "adults" until they are paying their own way. I am pay more than $70k for one student and $50 for another. I damn well am gong to have access to their grades--tracking their assignments, no but knowing that they are on track and not throwing my money down the toilet. Absolutely.

I’d hate to be your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this snobbery, about being a laid back parent who wouldn't dream of checking on their kid's grades is really annoying. Truth is for the most part, the extent to whether parents are intensive or laid back about monitoring grades really depends on the grades. I have two daughters in high school. With the oldest I rarely ever look at her grades on parent portal. There's no reason to, she's never made a final grade below an A. With my younger ADHD daughter, I monitor her grades like a hawk. I'm pretty nervous about how she is going to handle college and I'm sure during that first year, I will be checking on her grades quite a bit. If she does well, then yeah I'll back off. Those of you who don't bother checking on your college student's grades probably have good reason to feel confident that your kid is making grades that you would consider acceptable, if you thought otherwise you would be checking as well.

What exactly do you plan to do if you pull up your freshman student's grades and see that they got a 55% on their Intro to Business midterm?

I think that by the time they are away at school that stuff is going to be out of your hands. She is either studying or not studying. She is either showing up to class and doing her homework or she is not showing up to class and doing her homework. She is either passing her classes or she's not.

You can't do it for them. Knowing about every little grade that they get is not necessary, it doesn't help and you won't be able to change a thing about it.

She is either going to have to put her nose to the grindstone, go to her guidance counselor and change her course of study or come home after she flunks out and attend community college for awhile or get a job.

Agree. You need to let these kids fail, because with all this hovering they'll never learn the valuable lessons that failure brings.

I remember my GPA slipping just below the threshold for my scholarship in college. My mom basically said I needed to fix it or else no more school for me. I called my counselor and teacher of the class that I got the lowest grade in and tried to work something out. She let me rewrite a paper over the summer and send it in for reconsideration. I did all of this BY MYSELF. I ended up getting the grade raised enough to keep the scholarship and learned that I better get my sh!t together if I wanted to stay in school. It never happened again.

Let go, people. You are NOT helping your kids by hovering this much.

Agree, but you should be letting kids get more independent and allow them mistakes long before college, and even high school. I see so many parents decide sports, talk to teachers, try to fix friendships FOR their kids. . Heck, our district now has a portal to track grades. I mean come on already. No wonder so many are labeled with disabilities. One month of daydreaming or struggling with a skill and the kid is medicated and tracked like a hawk. Kids make mistakes. A TON of them. Kids need to find themselves and their passions. No need to micromanage them. They need to learn to figure most out on their own BEFORE going off to college, while you are there if they need you. No different than a permit vs a license. They need to drive on the permit, with you there to guide them. More in the beginning and a lot less in the end. Once they have their license and go off they are ready. Would you let a teen get a license without practicing and put them right in rush hour traffic. That is what many parents do with collage.

Sorry, but some of these kids struggle with these disabilities through adulthood. It’s called poor executive functioning. My son has it and while I don’t get involved in the day to Day with him, I do track his grades in high school and plan to have access in college....not to remind him of anything, but to be aware of any glaring problems before they worse.

He has poor executive function because of us. My child had it too. It is our fault. Immediate gratification. Micromanaging them so they don't have to, everyone gets a trophy, hovering, doing things for them instead of letting them fail. Not being patient and watching them learn it themselves. Stepping in for them, as young at 1yr old. And not to mention the screens. Tons of it all of the time. Once they hit middle school, they have no idea of failure, organization, study skills, proper socialization, etc... Schools are so focused on standardized testing and grades. Sitting in a class forever with 30 other kids. They should be teaching these kids how to think for themselves. Plan and study themselves. OT's, PT's. tutors, therapists, doctors, etc... are the new norm in most kids lives. I am ashamed. I would love a do over.

There is a reason why so many kids have anxiety, higher functioning disabilities, ADHD, ADD, poor fine motor skills, depression, sky high suicide rates. It is poor parenting. It truly is. We think we have done everything for them - and it is the worst thing we could do. We step in and fine tune things and then we high pressure them to be perfect. How can they be? We never give them a chance to grow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this snobbery, about being a laid back parent who wouldn't dream of checking on their kid's grades is really annoying. Truth is for the most part, the extent to whether parents are intensive or laid back about monitoring grades really depends on the grades. I have two daughters in high school. With the oldest I rarely ever look at her grades on parent portal. There's no reason to, she's never made a final grade below an A. With my younger ADHD daughter, I monitor her grades like a hawk. I'm pretty nervous about how she is going to handle college and I'm sure during that first year, I will be checking on her grades quite a bit. If she does well, then yeah I'll back off. Those of you who don't bother checking on your college student's grades probably have good reason to feel confident that your kid is making grades that you would consider acceptable, if you thought otherwise you would be checking as well.

What exactly do you plan to do if you pull up your freshman student's grades and see that they got a 55% on their Intro to Business midterm?

I think that by the time they are away at school that stuff is going to be out of your hands. She is either studying or not studying. She is either showing up to class and doing her homework or she is not showing up to class and doing her homework. She is either passing her classes or she's not.

You can't do it for them. Knowing about every little grade that they get is not necessary, it doesn't help and you won't be able to change a thing about it.

She is either going to have to put her nose to the grindstone, go to her guidance counselor and change her course of study or come home after she flunks out and attend community college for awhile or get a job.

Agree. You need to let these kids fail, because with all this hovering they'll never learn the valuable lessons that failure brings.

I remember my GPA slipping just below the threshold for my scholarship in college. My mom basically said I needed to fix it or else no more school for me. I called my counselor and teacher of the class that I got the lowest grade in and tried to work something out. She let me rewrite a paper over the summer and send it in for reconsideration. I did all of this BY MYSELF. I ended up getting the grade raised enough to keep the scholarship and learned that I better get my sh!t together if I wanted to stay in school. It never happened again.

Let go, people. You are NOT helping your kids by hovering this much.

Agree, but you should be letting kids get more independent and allow them mistakes long before college, and even high school. I see so many parents decide sports, talk to teachers, try to fix friendships FOR their kids. . Heck, our district now has a portal to track grades. I mean come on already. No wonder so many are labeled with disabilities. One month of daydreaming or struggling with a skill and the kid is medicated and tracked like a hawk. Kids make mistakes. A TON of them. Kids need to find themselves and their passions. No need to micromanage them. They need to learn to figure most out on their own BEFORE going off to college, while you are there if they need you. No different than a permit vs a license. They need to drive on the permit, with you there to guide them. More in the beginning and a lot less in the end. Once they have their license and go off they are ready. Would you let a teen get a license without practicing and put them right in rush hour traffic. That is what many parents do with collage.

Sorry, but some of these kids struggle with these disabilities through adulthood. It’s called poor executive functioning. My son has it and while I don’t get involved in the day to Day with him, I do track his grades in high school and plan to have access in college....not to remind him of anything, but to be aware of any glaring problems before they worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this snobbery, about being a laid back parent who wouldn't dream of checking on their kid's grades is really annoying. Truth is for the most part, the extent to whether parents are intensive or laid back about monitoring grades really depends on the grades. I have two daughters in high school. With the oldest I rarely ever look at her grades on parent portal. There's no reason to, she's never made a final grade below an A. With my younger ADHD daughter, I monitor her grades like a hawk. I'm pretty nervous about how she is going to handle college and I'm sure during that first year, I will be checking on her grades quite a bit. If she does well, then yeah I'll back off. Those of you who don't bother checking on your college student's grades probably have good reason to feel confident that your kid is making grades that you would consider acceptable, if you thought otherwise you would be checking as well.

What exactly do you plan to do if you pull up your freshman student's grades and see that they got a 55% on their Intro to Business midterm?

I think that by the time they are away at school that stuff is going to be out of your hands. She is either studying or not studying. She is either showing up to class and doing her homework or she is not showing up to class and doing her homework. She is either passing her classes or she's not.

You can't do it for them. Knowing about every little grade that they get is not necessary, it doesn't help and you won't be able to change a thing about it.

She is either going to have to put her nose to the grindstone, go to her guidance counselor and change her course of study or come home after she flunks out and attend community college for awhile or get a job.

Agree. You need to let these kids fail, because with all this hovering they'll never learn the valuable lessons that failure brings.

I remember my GPA slipping just below the threshold for my scholarship in college. My mom basically said I needed to fix it or else no more school for me. I called my counselor and teacher of the class that I got the lowest grade in and tried to work something out. She let me rewrite a paper over the summer and send it in for reconsideration. I did all of this BY MYSELF. I ended up getting the grade raised enough to keep the scholarship and learned that I better get my sh!t together if I wanted to stay in school. It never happened again.

Let go, people. You are NOT helping your kids by hovering this much.

Agree, but you should be letting kids get more independent and allow them mistakes long before college, and even high school. I see so many parents decide sports, talk to teachers, try to fix friendships FOR their kids. . Heck, our district now has a portal to track grades. I mean come on already. No wonder so many are labeled with disabilities. One month of daydreaming or struggling with a skill and the kid is medicated and tracked like a hawk. Kids make mistakes. A TON of them. Kids need to find themselves and their passions. No need to micromanage them. They need to learn to figure most out on their own BEFORE going off to college, while you are there if they need you. No different than a permit vs a license. They need to drive on the permit, with you there to guide them. More in the beginning and a lot less in the end. Once they have their license and go off they are ready. Would you let a teen get a license without practicing and put them right in rush hour traffic. That is what many parents do with collage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this snobbery, about being a laid back parent who wouldn't dream of checking on their kid's grades is really annoying. Truth is for the most part, the extent to whether parents are intensive or laid back about monitoring grades really depends on the grades. I have two daughters in high school. With the oldest I rarely ever look at her grades on parent portal. There's no reason to, she's never made a final grade below an A. With my younger ADHD daughter, I monitor her grades like a hawk. I'm pretty nervous about how she is going to handle college and I'm sure during that first year, I will be checking on her grades quite a bit. If she does well, then yeah I'll back off. Those of you who don't bother checking on your college student's grades probably have good reason to feel confident that your kid is making grades that you would consider acceptable, if you thought otherwise you would be checking as well.

What exactly do you plan to do if you pull up your freshman student's grades and see that they got a 55% on their Intro to Business midterm?

I think that by the time they are away at school that stuff is going to be out of your hands. She is either studying or not studying. She is either showing up to class and doing her homework or she is not showing up to class and doing her homework. She is either passing her classes or she's not.

You can't do it for them. Knowing about every little grade that they get is not necessary, it doesn't help and you won't be able to change a thing about it.

She is either going to have to put her nose to the grindstone, go to her guidance counselor and change her course of study or come home after she flunks out and attend community college for awhile or get a job.

Agree. You need to let these kids fail, because with all this hovering they'll never learn the valuable lessons that failure brings.

I remember my GPA slipping just below the threshold for my scholarship in college. My mom basically said I needed to fix it or else no more school for me. I called my counselor and teacher of the class that I got the lowest grade in and tried to work something out. She let me rewrite a paper over the summer and send it in for reconsideration. I did all of this BY MYSELF. I ended up getting the grade raised enough to keep the scholarship and learned that I better get my sh!t together if I wanted to stay in school. It never happened again.

Let go, people. You are NOT helping your kids by hovering this much.

Anonymous wrote:It's a FERPA violation to investigate your college kid's grades.