Rule 1 of tattoos: NEVER GET A SIGNIFICANT OTHERS NAME

Rule 2 of tattoos: See rule 1

OP: I can see how this would sting but he wants to keep it obviously. The three kids probably have a lot to do with it. We can’t ignore that we and the people we’re with had lives before us.

As to your question about why he hasn’t offered to get your name, see rule 1 above.

I find your story hard to believe. You married a guy who was 30 and already had 3 children and a tattoo with his ex-wife's name. You have been married for 10 years and now it bothers you. Nope, didn't happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has three kids with her, what good is it going to do to erase her name?

it would make op feel better not having her name tattooed to his body which she sees every time they have sex.

Oh, c’mon- after 10 years you’re closing your eyes trying to get there- not staring a tattooed bicep.

Anonymous wrote:They were together for a very long time and have 3 older kids. He got the tattoo when he was 19, he’s 40 now. He claims he just doesn’t know of anything that will cover it but has recently covered up 2 larger tattoos... he also never even mentioned getting my name, after 10 years together.

Does he still love her?

He’s weird if this is even true.

That's your partner now, nothing should come before you. I wouldn't want my wife looking at my ex name on me. It shouldn't even be a question, cover that shit. His body belongs to you now and yours to him, that's marriage respect it!

If he had the tattoo done after you were married that’s a problem. It’s old news, the past. You are his now ….future.

I’d let it go.

I find name and baby photo tattoos a ludicrous turnoff so would have to hide it during marital funtimes, but if he has unf*cked his other tattoos and not this one, it's likely related to the older kids/nostalgia. NBD

Anonymous wrote:They were together for a very long time and have 3 older kids. He got the tattoo when he was 19, he’s 40 now. He claims he just doesn’t know of anything that will cover it but has recently covered up 2 larger tattoos... he also never even mentioned getting my name, after 10 years together.

Does he still love her?

If he refuses to cover it, why can't he just get it removed completely?

Obviously covering it would be easier, but I had a tattoo removed recently that I got when I was twenty and I'm fifty now.
It took five sessions in total, but I wouldn't have cared if it took FIFTY -- I'm just so glad I never have to look at that classless thing ever again.

Parents, please do your best to warn your kids that a spur of the moment tattoo that they get when they're 18, 20, 22, etc, is not going to be the tattoo that they LIKE or WANT when they're 40, 50, 60+.

I can understand why this bothers you, OP. I'm wondering how you handled this, though. If I went on a date with someone who had an ex's name on their body, i would feel a certain way immediately. And in the next few dates, it would come up. And once we became serious, it definitely would be known that I was not ok with it. I don't think I could date someone for 10 years if they knew I was not OK with the tattoo, and they kept it anyway. How are you in this position? Are you just not telling him it's not OK? Because if that's the case, I don't know what to tell you. You put up with it for 10 years, so I can't fault him for not removing it now. If this has been an issue for years, why are you still with him? OP, if this is a dealbreaker, end it; if not, stop complaining and move on.