Anonymous
07/27/2018 13:35
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.
Women need a REASON for sex. One reason is she wants a baby. Another is she wants to secure a new relationship. Beyond those 2 specific reasons, women do not often want sex.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 13:17
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.
Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.
I won't judge you either for baiting-and-switching your husband into marrying you. We should teach younger women to not fake a stronger sex drive than you actually will have once married. That will avoid the problem you described of married women doing it to make him happy. Should I stop doing stuff that makes HER happy (ie, listening to her day) if deep down I'd rather watch SportsCenter?
What makes you think she was faking it back then? You can't think of any possibilities that would naturally decrease a woman's sex drive? What if her husband gains 20 lbs?
Sorry men but no one thinks "dad box" is sexy.
It's not a question of "faking" sex drive. Many factors come together to change sex drive over the course of a relationship. Jobs, kids, physical issues, boredom, weight gain, on and on all affect libido. This is why there is a honeymoon phase vs. a 7 year itch. Your whole marriage is not going to be as wild and passionate as your first few years of dating. Unfortunately no one thinks it will happen to them....
So if this is going to be your argument... that you have changed, evolved, your interest has waned over time.... then this same argument must be allowed for monogamy. These 2 concepts (sexual frequency / sexual exclusivity) are inextricably linked. My interest in having regular sex has not, and will not, really change over time. If my partner becomes less interested in sex, you should expect I become less interested in monogamy.
Yep. This is why I will never marry again. It's a losing proposition in so many ways. To paraphrase Katherine Hepburn, men and women should just live next door to each other and "visit" sometimes.
Sex is so much hotter when you don't live together, plan a date, get dressed up, shave your legs, go out to whatever, go home and.... get it on!
Anonymous
07/27/2018 13:09
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"
I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?
Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?
I wouldn't care but the person in the first quote was lying anyways.
I don't know if she was lying or not, but me, 2x/week with DH. Still have an AP. Our frequency isn't great, but when we have it, it is good.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 13:01
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"
I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?
Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?
I wouldn't care but the person in the first quote was lying anyways.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 12:59
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Not sure how this ties in, exactly, but I'm the DH and have always been the higher drive part of the couple. However, when we were trying to conceive, my wife was on a mission and scheduled frequent sex for us around the time she was ovulating. When it was a scheduled chore, I definitely found it tedious. Since then, I've never really pushed for more frequent sex than she wants.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 12:42
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"
I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?
Haha, me too. I wonder if I’d care if she was fooling around if I was getting it twice a week?
Anonymous
07/27/2018 12:12
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.
Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.
I won't judge you either for baiting-and-switching your husband into marrying you. We should teach younger women to not fake a stronger sex drive than you actually will have once married. That will avoid the problem you described of married women doing it to make him happy. Should I stop doing stuff that makes HER happy (ie, listening to her day) if deep down I'd rather watch SportsCenter?
What makes you think she was faking it back then? You can't think of any possibilities that would naturally decrease a woman's sex drive? What if her husband gains 20 lbs?
Sorry men but no one thinks "dad box" is sexy.
It's not a question of "faking" sex drive. Many factors come together to change sex drive over the course of a relationship. Jobs, kids, physical issues, boredom, weight gain, on and on all affect libido. This is why there is a honeymoon phase vs. a 7 year itch. Your whole marriage is not going to be as wild and passionate as your first few years of dating. Unfortunately no one thinks it will happen to them....
So if this is going to be your argument... that you have changed, evolved, your interest has waned over time.... then this same argument must be allowed for monogamy. These 2 concepts (sexual frequency / sexual exclusivity) are inextricably linked. My interest in having regular sex has not, and will not, really change over time. If my partner becomes less interested in sex, you should expect I become less interested in monogamy.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 12:11
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"
I'm in the clear. My wife only wants to have sex once every month or two. Hooray?
Anonymous
07/27/2018 12:02
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
My point exactly. Kind of makes all of us DHs with supposedly "normal" married sex frequency go "hmmm...waitaminit!"
Anonymous
07/27/2018 11:58
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Yes, surprising she still has sex with DH 2 times a week while carrying on an affair. Perfect cover I guess.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 11:49
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.
Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.
I won't judge you either for baiting-and-switching your husband into marrying you. We should teach younger women to not fake a stronger sex drive than you actually will have once married. That will avoid the problem you described of married women doing it to make him happy. Should I stop doing stuff that makes HER happy (ie, listening to her day) if deep down I'd rather watch SportsCenter?
What makes you think she was faking it back then? You can't think of any possibilities that would naturally decrease a woman's sex drive? What if her husband gains 20 lbs?
Sorry men but no one thinks "dad box" is sexy.
It's not a question of "faking" sex drive. Many factors come together to change sex drive over the course of a relationship. Jobs, kids, physical issues, boredom, weight gain, on and on all affect libido. This is why there is a honeymoon phase vs. a 7 year itch. Your whole marriage is not going to be as wild and passionate as your first few years of dating. Unfortunately no one thinks it will happen to them....
Anonymous
07/27/2018 11:40
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.
Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.
I won't judge you either for baiting-and-switching your husband into marrying you. We should teach younger women to not fake a stronger sex drive than you actually will have once married. That will avoid the problem you described of married women doing it to make him happy. Should I stop doing stuff that makes HER happy (ie, listening to her day) if deep down I'd rather watch SportsCenter?
What makes you think she was faking it back then? You can't think of any possibilities that would naturally decrease a woman's sex drive? What if her husband gains 20 lbs?
Sorry men but no one thinks "dad box" is sexy.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 11:34
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:50yo man here. Perfect for me would be 3-4X per week. Perfect for her is 3-4X per year. (not a typo). We compromised to 2X per week.
Im not judging you but its occured to me that messages we send to single women, espcially college women is that no one should engage in sex unless you are certain you are getting an "enthusiastic yes" from her or else its not truly consensual. but for married women, its the exact opposite-just do it even if you don't want to. Because it makes HIM happy. We would never approve of that marriage to younger women just dating.
YES! ITA
Thank you for pointing it out.
Who are these men who don't care that their wives don't want to have sex but pressure them into it anyway?
If you weren't married it would be verging on rape.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 11:15
Subject: Perfect amount if sex?
Anonymous wrote:1-2 times per week with DH. When I am on work travel with my AP, it is 2-3 times per day.
...aaand, every guy here posting/lurking who has sex 1-2 times with his wife who travels for work is wondering if this is her. I know I am.
Anonymous
07/27/2018 09:47
Subject: Re:Perfect amount if sex?
Once a week is fine for me as long as it's really good which thankfully it is. Last night was excellent as the spooning really got me going. Thanks DH!