Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:21     Subject: After meeting future niece
I *think* I see the issue. I should have put that she is being so hateful instead of just hateful. Same with disrespectful. I didn't proof read so I was so confused by comments. I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:19     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.


Why my whole family? That's what I'm struggling to understand?


I'll chime in and try to be kind. OP, I understand that your original post was made out of anger and frustration and being tired. That said, the words that you chose to use to describe a three year old girl - exhausted or not - are really despicable. It really showed your character when you so viscerally dislike a small child. It said nothing about your issues with discipline and everything was directed toward the little girl. You directed none of that same displaced anger toward perhaps the people that could provide discipline.

You stated that this was one of, if not the actual first meeting. So you've based all your impressions on one encounter. She's three. I can't tell you how embarrassed my child has made me when he was three. Mortified on a few occasions. And most of those who were on the receiving end were kind and basically said "oh I remember those times" and give me some support and understanding and some closer would offer constructive advice.

Your post shows none of that and you threatened to engage with your own sister during holidays because of this. If she were her biological child - would you feel differently? Would you treat your niece differently?

You sound hateful and more than that, your post screams that you aren't supportive of this union. And that's why people say family - because they assume that the gatherings would be with expanded family on these occasions.

Lastly, given you saying that you teach preschool - it's even more horrendous as one would assume you've seen the great swath of behaviors that come at that age and would be more sympathetic - to include the anxieties and complexities that come with such a huge transition for the little girl at such an early age. One would think that if you wanted to be kind and a great future Aunt that you would do things that will over time improve your relationship with her and also perhaps provide some loving guidance and words to your own sister.


And no, I've been around her every day for 2 weeks now. Not once has her dad disciplined her for yelling at me.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:18     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.


Why my whole family? That's what I'm struggling to understand?


I'll chime in and try to be kind. OP, I understand that your original post was made out of anger and frustration and being tired. That said, the words that you chose to use to describe a three year old girl - exhausted or not - are really despicable. It really showed your character when you so viscerally dislike a small child. It said nothing about your issues with discipline and everything was directed toward the little girl. You directed none of that same displaced anger toward perhaps the people that could provide discipline.

You stated that this was one of, if not the actual first meeting. So you've based all your impressions on one encounter. She's three. I can't tell you how embarrassed my child has made me when he was three. Mortified on a few occasions. And most of those who were on the receiving end were kind and basically said "oh I remember those times" and give me some support and understanding and some closer would offer constructive advice.

Your post shows none of that and you threatened to engage with your own sister during holidays because of this. If she were her biological child - would you feel differently? Would you treat your niece differently?

You sound hateful and more than that, your post screams that you aren't supportive of this union. And that's why people say family - because they assume that the gatherings would be with expanded family on these occasions.

Lastly, given you saying that you teach preschool - it's even more horrendous as one would assume you've seen the great swath of behaviors that come at that age and would be more sympathetic - to include the anxieties and complexities that come with such a huge transition for the little girl at such an early age. One would think that if you wanted to be kind and a great future Aunt that you would do things that will over time improve your relationship with her and also perhaps provide some loving guidance and words to your own sister.


Why are people getting the impression that I've been anything other than kind to my future niece? Yes, she is behaving hateful and disrespectful. That's describing her behavior, not her.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:17     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop pushing so hard.

You don't need a big party.

You just need to be nice and welcoming and let the pouty toddler come around.


I already had the party. I’m very nice to those kids.


You are fighting with little kids. Back away.


I'm upset with her parents. Once again, I'm stating that the problem is her dad and future step mom.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:15     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:She’s three, but you’re acting like you are.


Lmao this. WTF OP?
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:13     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.


Why my whole family? That's what I'm struggling to understand?


I'll chime in and try to be kind. OP, I understand that your original post was made out of anger and frustration and being tired. That said, the words that you chose to use to describe a three year old girl - exhausted or not - are really despicable. It really showed your character when you so viscerally dislike a small child. It said nothing about your issues with discipline and everything was directed toward the little girl. You directed none of that same displaced anger toward perhaps the people that could provide discipline.

You stated that this was one of, if not the actual first meeting. So you've based all your impressions on one encounter. She's three. I can't tell you how embarrassed my child has made me when he was three. Mortified on a few occasions. And most of those who were on the receiving end were kind and basically said "oh I remember those times" and give me some support and understanding and some closer would offer constructive advice.

Your post shows none of that and you threatened to engage with your own sister during holidays because of this. If she were her biological child - would you feel differently? Would you treat your niece differently?

You sound hateful and more than that, your post screams that you aren't supportive of this union. And that's why people say family - because they assume that the gatherings would be with expanded family on these occasions.

Lastly, given you saying that you teach preschool - it's even more horrendous as one would assume you've seen the great swath of behaviors that come at that age and would be more sympathetic - to include the anxieties and complexities that come with such a huge transition for the little girl at such an early age. One would think that if you wanted to be kind and a great future Aunt that you would do things that will over time improve your relationship with her and also perhaps provide some loving guidance and words to your own sister.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:12     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge a 3 year old. This is par for the course.


I'm not judging a 3 year old. It's not her fault that her parents don't discipline her.


You don't even know that to be true. For all you know she is deeply troubled and her parents did a fantastic job getting her to where she is.

OP, you should stay away from other people's children because they upset you too much.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:11     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop pushing so hard.

You don't need a big party.

You just need to be nice and welcoming and let the pouty toddler come around.


I already had the party. I’m very nice to those kids.


You are fighting with little kids. Back away.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:07     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you are basically completely incomprehensible. You seem like a drama queen. If you want actual advice then write a brand new post as if you had posted nothing previously explaining the entire situation. I can't follow this at all.


If I do, I will get shredded to pieces for creating a new post. I posted at 2 am when I was exhausted.


If it is even slightly more clear than this no one will complian. I was suggesting though that you just post here on this thread with a new, from scratch explanation. You will get nothing of value if we don't even understand what is happening.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 14:06     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.


Why my whole family? That's what I'm struggling to understand?


Because you seem like a drama-loving, pot-stirring, attention-seeking gal who probably just needs to give everyone a break already.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 13:57     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.


Why my whole family? That's what I'm struggling to understand?
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 13:56     Subject: After meeting future niece
OP, stop. Ask Jeff to delete this thread, honestly. No one gets it/is on your side here. I think it would be nicest if you just left your family alone for awhile.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 13:38     Subject: After meeting future niece
Anonymous wrote:OP you are basically completely incomprehensible. You seem like a drama queen. If you want actual advice then write a brand new post as if you had posted nothing previously explaining the entire situation. I can't follow this at all.


If I do, I will get shredded to pieces for creating a new post. I posted at 2 am when I was exhausted.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 13:33     Subject: Re:After meeting future niece
TBH OP you should cancel any future plans - Christmas or whatever that puts you together with this little girl.

Even your use of "little Larla" sounds mean girl. You just don't like the 3 yr old back but CRISE I wouldn't want you around my kid - even if said kid was unruly and difficult and ya know - 3.

Do them a favor and stay away.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2018 13:32     Subject: After meeting future niece
OP you are basically completely incomprehensible. You seem like a drama queen. If you want actual advice then write a brand new post as if you had posted nothing previously explaining the entire situation. I can't follow this at all.