Anonymous wrote:I feel like people somehow think someone sitting on the deck in their street clothes can't actively watch kids for safety. You guys get that in an emergency, even clothed people can jump in a pool and grab a kid, right?

The only save I ever made as a lifeguard was when I wasn't even on duty, and was wearing a sweatshirt.

My brother pulled a kid out of the lake; he was on the beach and ran in and grabbed one of our younger cousins. Lost his iPhone in the process, but do you think he let that slow him down? You can get a new phone, not a new cousin!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I don't agree that just living my life includes getting in pictures that I don't want to be in. I'm not overweight but have a somewhat unusual looking face due to a cleft palate repair. I honestly don't think about how my face looks all that much unless I see a picture of myself - I don't want to be in pictures, it makes me feel much, much worse than I otherwise would.

I hope that you will consider how much your nearest and dearest love you and want a picture of you. I hear that you may not like your face, but again those closest to you see you, not just a bunch of features,

/mother of child with cleft palate repair.

I don't agree that just living my life includes getting in pictures that I don't want to be in. I'm not overweight but have a somewhat unusual looking face due to a cleft palate repair. I honestly don't think about how my face looks all that much unless I see a picture of myself - I don't want to be in pictures, it makes me feel much, much worse than I otherwise would.


I hope that you will consider how much your nearest and dearest love you and want a picture of you. I hear that you may not like your face, but again those closest to you see you, not just a bunch of features,

/mother of child with cleft palate repair.

Anonymous wrote:

However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I don't agree that just living my life includes getting in pictures that I don't want to be in. I'm not overweight but have a somewhat unusual looking face due to a cleft palate repair. I honestly don't think about how my face looks all that much unless I see a picture of myself - I don't want to be in pictures, it makes me feel much, much worse than I otherwise would.

Anonymous wrote:I won't swim in public pools. In fact the idea of fecal matter from diapers, urine, dead skin cells, mucous floating in the water make me want to hurl. It's poop soup.

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry. As someone who is also much heavier than I used to be after having several kids -- though I was never thin, just normal weight -- I sympathize. However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I know you're trying not to draw attention to yourself, etc, but insisting on not getting in the pictures is worse than just gracefully being in them.

I look fat and horrible in all my recent pictures. I know it, my husband knows it, the only ones who don't know it are my kids who are too young to realize. But I know in a few years I would feel worse about not having any pictures with the kids when they're young -- or if, G-d forbid, anything happens to me -- than I would about being fat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much about the water, they want to watch you play with your kids.

How would you know what they want?

Agreed. Everyone would rather ‘lounge and chit chat.’ You do t havdvto get in the water- but DH is looking for help & your in laws would like to stop chit chatting with you. Can’t stand it when DH decides to not swim. It’s not about a personal preference it’s about zone coverage.
But we talk about it before and expectations are clear. He’s in that damned water with us, or no one is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not so much about the water, they want to watch you play with your kids.

How would you know what they want?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a different but somewhat similar issue. I recently gained weight due to some health issues and just don't like being in pictures. I'm trying to exercise and eat a healthy diet, but I've still not lost the weight. It's been a hard transition for me because I've always been thin. I've explained to my mother that it's hard for me to see pictures of myself at this weight, but every family get-together she pressures me in front of our extended family to get in the pictures. I get that I'll have to get comfortable with my new body if exercising and eating a healthy diet doesn't help, but I'm not there yet. Another reason I don't like her taking pictures is she has a tendency to display pictures that she looks good in even if everyone else looks terrible. As an example, my sister told my mom to select a picture from her wedding that had my mom, my dad, my sister and I in it, so my sister could have it enlarged and framed. Despite other pictures with us all looking at the camera, she picked one with me looking off to the side with my eyes partially closed because I wasn't ready for the picture because it was the best one of her. She has this on full display in her house. My sister and I laugh about it because this is typical. If she takes an unflattering picture of only me, she says she took it so she can display it as she wishes, and I need to get over it. We recently had another incident of her pressuring me in front of a room full of people to get in pictures. I finally snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone that she doesn't get to decide whether I get in the picture. Everyone's jaws dropped. I'm hoping this will be the end of the constant pressure because she'll be afraid I'll cause a scene. It wasn't my best moment, but if it gets her off my case I'll be thrilled.

I'm sorry. As someone who is also much heavier than I used to be after having several kids -- though I was never thin, just normal weight -- I sympathize. However, I will tell you what I have learned, which is that at some point you have to just live your life, which includes getting in the pictures. In 10 years you will feel worse about not being in any pictures than you will about being fat in the pictures. (In fact if you're lucky, you'll look back and laugh at your "fat" period ... if you're unlucky, like me, you'll look back and think "what was I worried about, I looked pretty good!")

I know you're trying not to draw attention to yourself, etc, but insisting on not getting in the pictures is worse than just gracefully being in them.

I look fat and horrible in all my recent pictures. I know it, my husband knows it, the only ones who don't know it are my kids who are too young to realize. But I know in a few years I would feel worse about not having any pictures with the kids when they're young -- or if, G-d forbid, anything happens to me -- than I would about being fat.

Anonymous wrote:I have a different but somewhat similar issue. I recently gained weight due to some health issues and just don't like being in pictures. I'm trying to exercise and eat a healthy diet, but I've still not lost the weight. It's been a hard transition for me because I've always been thin. I've explained to my mother that it's hard for me to see pictures of myself at this weight, but every family get-together she pressures me in front of our extended family to get in the pictures. I get that I'll have to get comfortable with my new body if exercising and eating a healthy diet doesn't help, but I'm not there yet. Another reason I don't like her taking pictures is she has a tendency to display pictures that she looks good in even if everyone else looks terrible. As an example, my sister told my mom to select a picture from her wedding that had my mom, my dad, my sister and I in it, so my sister could have it enlarged and framed. Despite other pictures with us all looking at the camera, she picked one with me looking off to the side with my eyes partially closed because I wasn't ready for the picture because it was the best one of her. She has this on full display in her house. My sister and I laugh about it because this is typical. If she takes an unflattering picture of only me, she says she took it so she can display it as she wishes, and I need to get over it. We recently had another incident of her pressuring me in front of a room full of people to get in pictures. I finally snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone that she doesn't get to decide whether I get in the picture. Everyone's jaws dropped. I'm hoping this will be the end of the constant pressure because she'll be afraid I'll cause a scene. It wasn't my best moment, but if it gets her off my case I'll be thrilled.