Again I say, 100 years ago it was probably normal for a girl to be married with at least 1 child by age 13 or 14.

When I was in high school (Fancy NE boarding school) a classmate of mine told me her mother was only 30 and had had her at 15. I was fascinated. She said it was great because her mom was young and fun. Now, as I raise elementary school kids in my 40s, I see her point.

Anonymous wrote:I love how, in typical dcum fashion, only one person out of the 50+ replies, actually answered the question (anyone on here have YOUR first child as a teen).

I think that was me. I noticed what you said too. Everyone knows someone. I wonder how many people trot out my name when this comes up in their circles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin had her 1st at 15, and is now 17 and pregnant with #2.

If you find that so shocking, prepare for your head to explode: My mother taught junior high back in the '70s & '80s. She had a 13-year-old student who was pregnant with her third child.

Ok, now that IS shocking by any metric. A third child at age 13?! That is some serious parental neglect or abuse right there. How was CPS not involved?

right? Holy Hell. Kid was having sex by 10 or 11?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin had her 1st at 15, and is now 17 and pregnant with #2.

If you find that so shocking, prepare for your head to explode: My mother taught junior high back in the '70s & '80s. She had a 13-year-old student who was pregnant with her third child.

Ok, now that IS shocking by any metric. A third child at age 13?! That is some serious parental neglect or abuse right there. How was CPS not involved?

Has to be a typo. She probably meant to type 18.

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s daughter had sex at 13. Luckily did not get pregnant. Her trauma was NOT from her family, though. Her parents are lovely people. Poor girl has been the victim of horrid bullying, though, and mom is pretty sure that self-esteem issues drove her to make such a poor decision. They are currently in therapy (I think they had been previously when the bullying was occurring).

Just tossing it out there that girls having sex at 13 are not necessarily the product of neglectful and/or abusive families.

Riiiiiiiiight.....

Lovely I'm sure. Sex at 13 doesn't exactly support the idea of 'lovely' parents. Wow. Maybe she wasn't physically or sexually abused but that's a pretty low bar for lovely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin had her 1st at 15, and is now 17 and pregnant with #2.

If you find that so shocking, prepare for your head to explode: My mother taught junior high back in the '70s & '80s. She had a 13-year-old student who was pregnant with her third child.

Ok, now that IS shocking by any metric. A third child at age 13?! That is some serious parental neglect or abuse right there. How was CPS not involved?

I got pregnant when I was 16 but I got an abortion. Which was the right decision.

I love how, in typical dcum fashion, only one person out of the 50+ replies, actually answered the question (anyone on here have YOUR first child as a teen).

This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After working one year in social services I can assure you that 14 year old girls do not get pregnant by 14 year old boys. If every single case I saw the dad was an older guy, usually 19-30. The parents of the girls don't seem shocked by the older boyfriend but then act schocked by the pregnancy. No one is prosecuted for rape unless the girls parents really push for it and I never saw that happen once in low income families. Im not saying we should "isolate" these girls but damn, it is shameful to have a baby or the dad of a baby of a teen mom. We need some societal standards. We need free IUDs for every single girl starting HS. all the social support in the world isn't helping these kids unless the parents are rich and step in to help.

I teenage girl who is dating and having babies by grown men is self isolating herself from regular HS age kids. She is living life as a grown up and taking on adult responsibilities. I don't think it's up to HS teenagers to support a girl in that situation. She needs to be around other girls her age who are in similar situations and she needs to be exposed to good younger mom role models. Same goes with teenage fathers. If there is a lack of support at home, then social services should get involved to oversee and guide these girls.

This might be one of the most privileged things I have ever read on DCUM.

100 years ago I thought it was common for young teenagers to get married and have children?

One of my very best friends had her first at 14, another with another man at 16 and then, 18 years later got married and ended up having three kids with her husband. Her younger kids are same age as mine (and I am 10 years younger than my friend.) She is one of the most wonderful, accomplished people I know. Her mom supported my friend and helped her finish HS, and then she, as a single mom, worked, finished college and went on to become a critical care nurse and researcher. Her older kids are amazing young women and are now married and moms themselves with great careers and her kids with her DH are the sweetest kids around.

She honestly grew up poor but could have been the cliche many hearing her 'history' of 5 kids by three different men. I wish I was half the person she is - she is my hero.

One of my good friends in high school shared a birthday with hr mom - the mom gave birth to my friend on the mom's 13th birthday. The dad was in the Marines, and they got married and had a second child two years later.

They were still together and happy up to 25 years later - I was a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding when we were about 25 or so, but then we lost touch (pre-email days - back when you had to write letters and call, and she was busy being a new wife, etc and I was terrible at writing letters). We're back in touch now (via facebook) and I think her parents split up but I can't quite tell.

I'm from a very rural, poor area and am turning 50 this year, and have many friends from home who are grandparents, and a few who are great grandparents - if you're 16 when you have a baby, and child is 16 when they have a baby, and grandchild is 16 when they have a baby, you could be 48 and a great grandparent.

Anonymous wrote:After working one year in social services I can assure you that 14 year old girls do not get pregnant by 14 year old boys. If every single case I saw the dad was an older guy, usually 19-30. The parents of the girls don't seem shocked by the older boyfriend but then act schocked by the pregnancy. No one is prosecuted for rape unless the girls parents really push for it and I never saw that happen once in low income families. Im not saying we should "isolate" these girls but damn, it is shameful to have a baby or the dad of a baby of a teen mom. We need some societal standards. We need free IUDs for every single girl starting HS. all the social support in the world isn't helping these kids unless the parents are rich and step in to help.

I teenage girl who is dating and having babies by grown men is self isolating herself from regular HS age kids. She is living life as a grown up and taking on adult responsibilities. I don't think it's up to HS teenagers to support a girl in that situation. She needs to be around other girls her age who are in similar situations and she needs to be exposed to good younger mom role models. Same goes with teenage fathers. If there is a lack of support at home, then social services should get involved to oversee and guide these girls.