You can be the most confident fat girl in the world and you'll still never get me, no matter how much you want me.

So, NO, it's not all about confidence. Quit lying to yourself

Men are as picky as they can get away with.

So the average woman is doing great.

Of course there are outliers-ugly women, ugly men, extremely shy women, extremely shy men, extremely good looking men and women, etc.

OP is speaking in generalities. And generally, OP is right.

There's a social confidence, a sexy confidence, that differs from professional confidence. As long as they are not mean, women who show confidence in their social connection with men can pretty much have what they want. Professional confidence makes me want to work with a woman, not necessarily sleep with her.
I have to admit, however, that I think it's hot when a woman swears at work.