Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 13:40     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When someone isn't showing any inclination to be in your child's life, maybe it's best to let that be.


No. The child is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The child should not suffer because his father is an ass.


... or his mother a [ ] ...


A what? OP says they were a couple for a year and a half.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 13:38     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When someone isn't showing any inclination to be in your child's life, maybe it's best to let that be.


No. The child is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The child should not suffer because his father is an ass.


... or his mother a [ ] ...


She's not the one trying to walk away from her responsibilities.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 09:26     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


You won’t be able to just “put his name” on the birth certificate unless you are married or he agrees to sign an “acknowledgment of paternity” in the hospital. You’ll need to go to court after the child is born to file for support and ask for a DNA test to prove paternity to get him on the birth certificate. It’s a long process but he will eventually be required to pay support if the DNA test proves its his kid.

Not OP but this is interesting and good to know.


It also makes complete sense when you think about it. Otherwise I could have put anyone's name on my child's birth cert.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 09:09     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:Does his wife know?



+1
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 08:30     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Does his wife know?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 08:27     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When someone isn't showing any inclination to be in your child's life, maybe it's best to let that be.


No. The child is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The child should not suffer because his father is an ass.


... or his mother a [ ] ...
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2018 07:41     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When someone isn't showing any inclination to be in your child's life, maybe it's best to let that be.


No. The child is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The child should not suffer because his father is an ass.


The child will suffer anyway if the father is an ass, regardless of how much money the father pours in. I say this as someone who is divorced from a wealthy man who financially supports his child but is not interested in seeing her more than once a month. He doesn't go to her school events even when she asks him to. He didn't come to her birthday party this year. He pays, but he isn't there for her and there are times when I think it would have been easier to just let him fade out of her life when she was much younger.


That's your opinion. Your daughter may think seeing her father once a month is better than not seeing him at all. The guy is an ass, but your daughter may appreciate having her "asshole" dad than no dad at all.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 12:49     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No judgment please just need some advice.

My baby’s father denies the baby is his and even suggested I had been with multiple men and he can’t be sure it’s his. Do I have any rights legally? Can I claim child support? How do I do that anyway? I know with 100% certainty he is the father. Maybe after the DNA test he’ll want to be involved? Anyone in similar situations?


This was my husband 18 years ago. The baby could not be his. He also threatened to "make the baby motherless" if I filed for divorce. Since I was new to the country he said that if a disappeared no one would know it.


And you married him?!?


+1 I had the same thought.

Obviously, the abuse presented after the marriage and the birth of the baby. Unfortunately, some men do become abusive after a baby is born, perhaps out of jealousy that someone else is receiving the bulk of the partner's affection. Also, if OP came to this country on a "fiancé visa", she had a very short time to either get married or go back home. She may have not been able to spot the abusive tendencies if the relationship was young. That is a big problem with the fiancé visas. They tend to force couples to marry before they are ready.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 12:40     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


You won’t be able to just “put his name” on the birth certificate unless you are married or he agrees to sign an “acknowledgment of paternity” in the hospital. You’ll need to go to court after the child is born to file for support and ask for a DNA test to prove paternity to get him on the birth certificate. It’s a long process but he will eventually be required to pay support if the DNA test proves its his kid.

Not OP but this is interesting and good to know.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 12:35     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.


What does his income level matter in a child support case when its clear he's never co-habitated with the mother, the child isn't used to a 'certain level' of QOL because it never lived with his father, and the mother has no legal ties to the father?

Would child support really be calculated for the full breadth of his income level for a 'casual' sexual relationship?


Yes, that's generally how it works in most states. BTW I wasn't fear mongering, I'm a lawyer and that's what I would advise him to do if he truly does make that much money.



It wasn’t a “casual” sexual relationship. We were a couple for a year and half’.


Okay fair enough OP.

Lawyer PP - thanks, very interesting stuff.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 11:45     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


At that level of income it's almost a certainty he will sue for 50% custody. Cheaper to have 50% custody and have a full time nanny than give up primary custody.


What does his income level matter in a child support case when its clear he's never co-habitated with the mother, the child isn't used to a 'certain level' of QOL because it never lived with his father, and the mother has no legal ties to the father?

Would child support really be calculated for the full breadth of his income level for a 'casual' sexual relationship?


Yes, that's generally how it works in most states. BTW I wasn't fear mongering, I'm a lawyer and that's what I would advise him to do if he truly does make that much money.



It wasn’t a “casual” sexual relationship. We were a couple for a year and half’.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 11:44     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:OP, get the child support. It's for your child, not for you. He will always have the right to have custody whether or not you've asked for money. They are separate issues.

Get the money for your child.



Op here, and yes I know that hike support and custody are two separate matters
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 11:43     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


You won’t be able to just “put his name” on the birth certificate unless you are married or he agrees to sign an “acknowledgment of paternity” in the hospital. You’ll need to go to court after the child is born to file for support and ask for a DNA test to prove paternity to get him on the birth certificate. It’s a long process but he will eventually be required to pay support if the DNA test proves its his kid.


This. It may be a rather lengthy process but you will be raising your child for the next 18 years. He needs to support his child.

It doesn't sound as though you know each other very well and he may have legitimate doubts as to whether or not he is the father of your baby. Maybe he's in denial. Whatever. Have the court order the paternity test. Once that's settled he can either be in his own child's life or not but at least your child will have the benefit of paternal support payments.


We’ve know each other for a little over 2 years





Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 11:42     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


You won’t be able to just “put his name” on the birth certificate unless you are married or he agrees to sign an “acknowledgment of paternity” in the hospital. You’ll need to go to court after the child is born to file for support and ask for a DNA test to prove paternity to get him on the birth certificate. It’s a long process but he will eventually be required to pay support if the DNA test proves its his kid.



I did not know that, thank you for letting me know
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2018 11:42     Subject: Denies it’s his child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 6 months pregnant. He makes 6-7 figures every year and I am stuck with $72 k salary. I do need the help financially because I have horrible loans from grad school. I am in California. I do believe my child is entitled to be supported from me and the father. I do plan on putting his name in the birth certificate but he will take my last name. If he wants visitation that’s fine, I would want him to be in his child’s life. At the end of the day, I can’t make him though.


It's not his job to pay your student loans. It is his job to support his child. It is also your job to support your child. Don't get too hung up on his income because he might have student loans or other financial obligations that you are not aware of. Maybe he has other children that you aren't aware of.

Take care of yourself, Op. Have a healthy pregnancy, get paternity established through the courts and the rest will fall into place.



Op here, I never said it was his job to pay my student loans.