Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:18     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:So, is there any use suggesting to Op any alternatives - like start a beach find savings NOW (as in You and dh put aside, for example, $20/week you'd spend on Starbucks, eating lunch, happy hour, etc).

Or tell your family to reserve the beach house during off peak - like the last week of August when rates are reduced.

Or go to a closer/cheaper beach than on.

But op has already made up her mind that she simply doesn't want to vacay with her family and, if she is going to spend money, than it would be a trip with just her and dh to cozumel, right?!


Oh this is a good idea! OBX in September might be nice.

I’d love a lake house too.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:13     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:So, is there any use suggesting to Op any alternatives - like start a beach find savings NOW (as in You and dh put aside, for example, $20/week you'd spend on Starbucks, eating lunch, happy hour, etc).

Or tell your family to reserve the beach house during off peak - like the last week of August when rates are reduced.

Or go to a closer/cheaper beach than on.

But op has already made up her mind that she simply doesn't want to vacay with her family and, if she is going to spend money, than it would be a trip with just her and dh to cozumel, right?!


I would say, no. I wouldn't waste my time giving OP this kind of rational advice. She doesn't want to go out of her way to spend time with her family (and then complains that she hasn't spent much time with them in the past).
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:10     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.


So the title of your post is misleading. You left out a lot of details until the post got to pages 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for stringing us along


Well, that's the same thing OP is doing to her family, so it's not personal.


Oh please. No one asked you to read all the pages. I got into more details as I wanted to (a vent, as it is.)

But the basic question still remains the same: would you go on a vacation that you cannot afford just because it’s family?


Since you ask, I would never put myself in a position with two kids and not being able to afford $1500. That's not a lot of money to me for a week-long vacation. In fact, it seems dirt cheap.

In any case, the opportunity for your parents to spend time with all of their grandkids is probably rare, and for that reason, yes I would go.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:07     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We have made potentially unwise decisions in spending an ungodly amount of money for expensive trips, but only because we wanted to go on those trips very badly indeed, and had carefully assessed the financial risks. For us it was worth it. We went to Japan for two weeks to visit the kids' great-grandmother and visit their country of origin. Everything was terribly expensive there. The children loved it all.

I would never even consider what your parents are suggesting. Not worth going into debt for something as boring and meaningless as a beach house rental on the Outer Banks.


Thanks PP. I would TOTALLY go into debt for a trip to Europe/Japan...even a weekend trip to Bermuda if my husband suggests it. But I am very nervous to go into debt over a vacation that we will very likely hate.

We have two small children who are poor sleepers (we've tried, TRUST ME ON THIS) and still nap.


Oh dear god. Then don't be one of those incredibly annoying people who makes up a transparent excuse, and just say that you don't want to vacation with your 9 month old and a 2 year old and neither do they. Say you look forward to doing it in a few years.

Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:06     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
So, is there any use suggesting to Op any alternatives - like start a beach find savings NOW (as in You and dh put aside, for example, $20/week you'd spend on Starbucks, eating lunch, happy hour, etc).

Or tell your family to reserve the beach house during off peak - like the last week of August when rates are reduced.

Or go to a closer/cheaper beach than on.

But op has already made up her mind that she simply doesn't want to vacay with her family and, if she is going to spend money, than it would be a trip with just her and dh to cozumel, right?!
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:06     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:OP I'd definitely cite both cost and little kids when telling your family you can't go. Those seem to be your two reasons. Even if your parents offer to pay, they cant' change the ages of your children. Maybe you could go for 3 days? It wouldn't change the cost for your parents (if they pay for your portion anyway), but would make your life a bit more sane.



This is a good compromise, Op.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:05     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
For my wife, our son, and me: yes, I have, and satisfied that debt within 6 months. Well worth it!
For anyone else: absolutely not!
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:05     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.


So the title of your post is misleading. You left out a lot of details until the post got to pages 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for stringing us along


Well, that's the same thing OP is doing to her family, so it's not personal.


Oh please. No one asked you to read all the pages. I got into more details as I wanted to (a vent, as it is.)

But the basic question still remains the same: would you go on a vacation that you cannot afford just because it’s family?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 14:01     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)


Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt


Ehhh oops, we do not have a lot of debt. We are paying off a loan, which sucks. And we are simultaneously saving for a house and a car.

And we do not WANT to spend our money on this. It'll be $200 a night to NOT sleep. The 4 of us will sleep in the same room and that means we will get no sleep.


Then you should have known that immediately upon someone suggesting this vacation. Now you just seem flaky and rude to your family.


THIS IS WHY I POSTED! I already said above that we had said we were onboard and even suggested some homes. But in all fairness, we never thought this vacation would actually happen (we barely speak to each other as is). Now it looks like it might actually happen so we have to say no.


Yeah, OP, that's rude. You know you'll seem rude and flaky, so why did you even ask?


Oh, come on. Op didn't know what size house they could even afford until they started to look into it. The idea of sleeping with 2 babies in a small bedroom at a beach cottage for an entire week with a house full of other people sounds pretty miserable to me.

I think that some people have forgotten what midnight, 2am feedings and 4:30am wake ups are like with small children. Hint: It's not as easy as it looks.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:58     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
I hate the beach so I wouldn't go into debt for this.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:57     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.


OP here and it definitely is. Which is why we have entertained going. But now we realize how much it will truly cost and we cannot afford it. If we could, then we would go and make the best of it, and sacrifice sleep and whatever.

I do think it's odd that we have not spent more than a couple days together and my family doesn't really get along, and now all of a sudden we are committing to a week together?! Oh well!
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:57     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.


So the title of your post is misleading. You left out a lot of details until the post got to pages 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for stringing us along


Well, that's the same thing OP is doing to her family, so it's not personal.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:56     Subject: go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This seems like it should be a pretty cheap trip to me, no? Like under $200 a night per family (probably a lot under)


Cheap trip but OP stated they have a lot of debt


Ehhh oops, we do not have a lot of debt. We are paying off a loan, which sucks. And we are simultaneously saving for a house and a car.

And we do not WANT to spend our money on this. It'll be $200 a night to NOT sleep. The 4 of us will sleep in the same room and that means we will get no sleep.


Then you should have known that immediately upon someone suggesting this vacation. Now you just seem flaky and rude to your family.


THIS IS WHY I POSTED! I already said above that we had said we were onboard and even suggested some homes. But in all fairness, we never thought this vacation would actually happen (we barely speak to each other as is). Now it looks like it might actually happen so we have to say no.


Yeah, OP, that's rude. You know you'll seem rude and flaky, so why did you even ask?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:55     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.


So the title of your post is misleading. You left out a lot of details until the post got to pages 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for stringing us along
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2018 13:52     Subject: Re:go into debt for family beach vacation, or say no?
Anonymous wrote:no. never.

Why is this even a question ?

People in general need to quit living like they are uber wealthy because they see others live that way. It's stupid.



In this case, it doesn't really seem to be about the money. OP confessed she would gladly go into debt for a trip with just her and DH. She doesn't want to travel with her kids or spend time with her family.