Anonymous wrote:I feel like if you can't deal with other people's basic dirt and germs you shouldn't be inviting other people into your home to begin with.

Uh yeah, this. I have a lifelong friend whose home was always shoeless and her home is now. Even when hosting events, they do not wear shoes. Most guests don't notice so you have half the party in shoes and half without. It looks ridiculous.

I just don't really understand the concept. Everything has germs - everything. Your credit card. Money. Your cell phone. Your car door handle. The elevator button. The work coffee machine. EVERYTHING. It's okay, you'll survive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.

Is too.

Kids’ friends always have to take shoes off because they run in and out.

My husband and I take ours off when we are home, but do t require adult guests. We also wear shoes when we host.

This is what we do. I ask young kids (under 16) to remove their shoes in the mudroom when they enter. Adults may if they wish, and we will provide slippers for their comfort. We always wear shoes when hosting (it's part of your outfit, after all). Wearing slippers at your own dinner party looks absurd. The PPs with shoe free homes must look assinine having formal events in their homes, with everyone running around in socks and slippers while dressed nicely. Talk about ruining the effect.

I don't know very many people who host formal events in their homes. Guess we're not as fancy as you

Ugh, not this AGAIN.

We're a no shoes in the house family, and we're usually barefoot. I've NEVER had this problem - everyone that has come into our home for a social visit notices that we are not wearing and our shoes are by the door, and takes off their shoes. We do not make contractors or other workers take off their shoes, as there may be liability issues. We don't have a cleaning crew now, but the one we used to use changed their shoes before they entered the house, which I really appreciated.

I feel like if you can't deal with other people's basic dirt and germs you shouldn't be inviting other people into your home to begin with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.

Is too.

Kids’ friends always have to take shoes off because they run in and out.

My husband and I take ours off when we are home, but do t require adult guests. We also wear shoes when we host.

This is what we do. I ask young kids (under 16) to remove their shoes in the mudroom when they enter. Adults may if they wish, and we will provide slippers for their comfort. We always wear shoes when hosting (it's part of your outfit, after all). Wearing slippers at your own dinner party looks absurd. The PPs with shoe free homes must look assinine having formal events in their homes, with everyone running around in socks and slippers while dressed nicely. Talk about ruining the effect.

Anonymous wrote:This “no shoes” trend seems weird to me. Why not require someone to change into a robe when entering your home? After all, clothes carry germs too and people will be sitting on your furniture?

Most US- born Americans I know don’t do the “no shoes” thing.

Another person raised white middle-class, and my parents were definitely shoes-indoors people, assuming the shoes were dry. When my friends and I went to one another houses, we'd ask the parents if we could take our shoes off, because it was seen as a sign of informality.

My parents were raised in households with help, so maybe that's why they grew up not worrying about how to minimize housework (my mom cleaned our house herself -- I guess my parents were downwardly mobile?). But our friends are shoes-on people (or at least not mandatory shoes off), so I think it's probably more age-related (we were all born in the 60s or early 70s)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am half European and half Asian. When i was a child, my European mother's family used to consider it the height of rudeness to remove shoes, but our close relatives got used to it. We never asked it of our older, more conservative family members.

I would hope that now it's a more accepted lifestyle. I married into an Asian family and we always politely request that guests remove their shoes, except for large indoor-outdoor parties where everyone stays in their shoes and we mop up afterward.

What? The Europeans I know and visit regularly (both in the U.S. and in Europe) ALWAYS remove their shoes in the house.

Please read my post.

This was not the case a few decades ago, and older generations still don't like it.

And having lived in various European countries most of my life (France, UK and Germany), I think I know more Europeans than you.

Doubtful. I don't know what kind of Europeans you hang out with, but they must not have very good manners. Most Europeans with nice, big homes are strictly shoes off.

NP here. I'm a European, married to one. We don't have guests remove shoes in the house, because it is considered rude. It has nothing to do with "nice, big homes", but if you feel that is a measuring stick, we both come from quite educated and well off families in two different countries. Children are asked to remove shoes, not adults--although close friends may, and are given house slippers. I'm German, FWIW, and my husband is Danish. We have also lived in France and the UK, and he has lived in Spain.

I lived in Japan as a child were removing one's shoes was obviously the norm. Nowhere else, though, in my experience.

It would strike me as extremely rude here in the US to request that an adult remove their shoes, unless you know them very well. I would likely just politely refuse to enter, depending on the situation.

Anonymous wrote:New poster here,
For those suggesting cleaning the floor after they leave, how do you clean the rug?
I had a neighbor over for lunch and she didn’t remove her shoes. I didn’t ask her to because it felt very awkward to. But I just couldn’t stand the fact that she walked all over our rug in the family room. We lay down on it very often. I still don’t know how to deal with this! Most people look at my feet and ask me if they need to remove their shoes but some don’t.

Vacuum. If there are insignificant marks or stains, a spray cleaner. Messes- spot bot machine. We get our carpets cleaned 2x per year, and send out rugs to be cleaned as needed.

I think asking is nicer than a sign, and I don't mind taking my shoes off. (I take my shoes off at home, but not for any cultural reason--I just prefer not to wear shoes.) But I hate it when people want me to take my shoes off and they don't have a place to sit down when removing or replacing shoes, or socks or slippers to offer. I don't want to walk around barefoot in someone else's house. If you are going to ask people to remove their shoes, you need to be prepared to make that comfortable for them.

I am not Asian but I have people remove their shoes. All my floors are hardwood, I do not want my floors scratched or dented by high heels. Also both my kids have asthma and environmental allergies, i need my floors spotless, I do not want anyone to track dirt, dust, pollen, pet dander into the house. I also have a crawling baby picking things off the floor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I check when I enter a house. If the shoes are by the door I take mine off. There are many shoeless houses and I think it should be basic politeness as a guest.

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I grew up in the midwest and pretty much never took my shoes off indoors when I was growing up. About the only exception was an older neighbor with white wall to wall carpeting.

That began to chance when I came to Washington and began to know people who were wealthier, had nice homes and did not grow up in a working class midwestern neighborhood. I try to be a good guest and take off my shoes without being told when I sense it is expected by the host. At home, I don't take my shoes off. I would probably find the noise to be somewhat uninviting. NBD.

From The Onion
Report: Friend’s Apartment Not Nice Enough To Be Asking People To Take Off Shoes
https://local.theonion.com/report-friend-s-apartment-not-nice-enough-to-be-asking-1823796252

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am half European and half Asian. When i was a child, my European mother's family used to consider it the height of rudeness to remove shoes, but our close relatives got used to it. We never asked it of our older, more conservative family members.

I would hope that now it's a more accepted lifestyle. I married into an Asian family and we always politely request that guests remove their shoes, except for large indoor-outdoor parties where everyone stays in their shoes and we mop up afterward.

What? The Europeans I know and visit regularly (both in the U.S. and in Europe) ALWAYS remove their shoes in the house.

Please read my post.

This was not the case a few decades ago, and older generations still don't like it.

And having lived in various European countries most of my life (France, UK and Germany), I think I know more Europeans than you.

Doubtful. I don't know what kind of Europeans you hang out with, but they must not have very good manners. Most Europeans with nice, big homes are strictly shoes off.

Anonymous wrote:We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.

Is too.

Kids’ friends always have to take shoes off because they run in and out.

My husband and I take ours off when we are home, but do t require adult guests. We also wear shoes when we host.

Anonymous wrote:I check when I enter a house. If the shoes are by the door I take mine off. There are many shoeless houses and I think it should be basic politeness as a guest.

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