Anonymous wrote:I understand that having two kids at home requires work but (1) she chose to have two kids and (2) people have been taking care of kids and cooking meals throughout history. My mother had 5 kids at home and did the cooking and cleaning. House was damn clean also.

I don't think the level of work has increased either. When I was a kid there was no meal delivery services, mircorwaves, etc. Things took a lot more work and yet somehow the moms of that era got a lot more done. These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

And throughout history, people were served the same exact food everyday, and were damn glad to have it. If op's dh wants some variety, he can start cooking or dialing himself, not kvetching at his six-weeks-post-partum wife.

Anonymous wrote:I understand that having two kids at home requires work but (1) she chose to have two kids and (2) people have been taking care of kids and cooking meals throughout history. My mother had 5 kids at home and did the cooking and cleaning. House was damn clean also.

I don't think the level of work has increased either. When I was a kid there was no meal delivery services, mircorwaves, etc. Things took a lot more work and yet somehow the moms of that era got a lot more done. These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

That's what the husband/partner SHOULD do. How is this not obvious? It should be 50/50 when the WOHP gets home. Why does one parent get a break in the evenings and the other parent is working all day?

Anonymous wrote:I understand that having two kids at home requires work but (1) she chose to have two kids and (2) people have been taking care of kids and cooking meals throughout history. My mother had 5 kids at home and did the cooking and cleaning. House was damn clean also.

I don't think the level of work has increased either. When I was a kid there was no meal delivery services, mircorwaves, etc. Things took a lot more work and yet somehow the moms of that era got a lot more done. These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

Actually, the level of work has increased because the expectations regarding parenting and keeping house have increased. The level of contact that parents are expected to have with their kids has increased tremendously. The level of cleanliness expected of a household has increased. Also, she is cooking. The issue is that apparently she is not cooking in an exciting enough way.

These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

Yes, that's right. Because why does he only get a break? I have both worked and taken care of little kids. Taking care of a newborn and toddler is a hell of a lot more exhausting than working in my office/traveling. No breaks, little adult conversation, drudgery and boredom. This is why we have to PAY PEOPLE for child care--because it is labor. Thus, they should split the labor at home. She labors at home and does her best to maximize her efficiency but when he comes out, they should split the labor.

after all, he chose to have two kids as well.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a sahm. If so, it is your job to take of the home, and well.

Uh, no. It's her job to take care of the kids and the house while he's at work. When he's home, it should be 50/50.

I understand that having two kids at home requires work but (1) she chose to have two kids and (2) people have been taking care of kids and cooking meals throughout history. My mother had 5 kids at home and did the cooking and cleaning. House was damn clean also.

I don't think the level of work has increased either. When I was a kid there was no meal delivery services, mircorwaves, etc. Things took a lot more work and yet somehow the moms of that era got a lot more done. These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

First of all, OP is not complaining about cookig--or about caring for a newborn and toddler by herself while her husband is on travel (and able, presumably, to eat what he pleases). Secondly, 'throughout history' women also died in childbirth, people lived with extended family, etc, there were no antibiotics and children labored...so let's not have some kind of comparison which is not useful. Good on your mom, but that's not the world we live in now.

Finally, the point is not that OP is unable to make dinner. it is that her husband--who travels frequently--is "bored" with dinner. He is damn well capable of coming up with a solution but it is the expectation that she's focused entirely on his needs and the complaint about her meal prep that is so insensitive.

I understand that having two kids at home requires work but (1) she chose to have two kids and (2) people have been taking care of kids and cooking meals throughout history. My mother had 5 kids at home and did the cooking and cleaning. House was damn clean also.

I don't think the level of work has increased either. When I was a kid there was no meal delivery services, mircorwaves, etc. Things took a lot more work and yet somehow the moms of that era got a lot more done. These days the SAHM want the husband to work then come home and start doing housework and taking care of the kids so they can get a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH said the same thing, so I showed him how to use Pinterest. He now has a recipe board of his own and twice a week I make something off of it. What I found is that, while I struggle for new (and easy) ideas, the cooking part isn’t hard if someone tells me what to cook. I don’t even usually use the recipe itself, just the meal pairing idea.

Example: we had chili lime cod with cilantro rice and grilled corn the other night. The fish cooked in the oven in 12 minutes. Rice was in the instant pot and cooked and depressurized in about 12 minutes. Corn on the grill was about 10 minutes. With prep and final assembly, dinner was done in less than 30 minutes. No longer than any of our typical meals, but not something that just came to me.

The pronoun above is wrong. It says “now twice a week I make something off of it.” It should say now “he makes something off of it. And it should say 3/4 times a week, not “twice.” But baby steps.

The Pinterest thing is a great idea. I enjoy cooking but I hate being the one who always has to figure out what to make!

Anonymous wrote:"So am I, dear! What's for dinner?"

That crap is for the birds. If he isn't happy with a dinner someone else made for him, he can either cook or starve.

Ingrate.

A guy who was grateful, even if bored at times.

My husband used to complain when I would make bulk chili when we had two under three and both working. Then I told him he could do the cooking. Guess what he cooked? Bulk chili! Mine was from scratch everything and tested great. His was OK. Now, we have ingredients for classic standbys and on Saturdays we might get fancy and try something new.

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a smartphone. Ubereats, doordaah, seamless, . . .

I would like doordahl that brings me delicious curried lentils.

Anonymous wrote:Is what DH told me today and DH travels for work 3-4 nights a week!!

We have a 6 week old and a 2 year old. Toddler has been sick for two weeks and thankfully has only passed a cold into the baby. . The easiest thing right now for me is to reorder my FreshDirect Cart and just make sure everyone is fed. I was livid and lost it. Told him he could do the shopping this week. He came back with berries. Thinking of going with kids to grandmas for some support and sanity.

If you are unhappy with dinner in our family and complain than guess what? Your job is to cook dinner the next night! Your DH is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. A toddler and a baby. How will this woman survive? Yes it's a lot of work. It's frustrating and exhausting. It's also a lot of fun and rewarding and soul-enriching. You know what else is a lot of work and frustrating and exhausting? Work. Minus the rewarding, soul-enriching part.

WTF? Does this have anything to do with the joy and logistics of cooking unique meals 7 nights a week.

Shut it.

*doordash*

Does he have a smartphone. Ubereats, doordaah, seamless, . . .

Oh. My. God. A toddler and a baby. How will this woman survive? Yes it's a lot of work. It's frustrating and exhausting. It's also a lot of fun and rewarding and soul-enriching. You know what else is a lot of work and frustrating and exhausting? Work. Minus the rewarding, soul-enriching part.