Anonymous wrote:The thing that’s missing in people trying to defend OP is that this is unspeakably rude only with respect to schools DC has no intention of enrolling in. It seems highly unlikely that all of OP’s RD schools were ones they would actually consider attending over Harvard. If someone is legitimately still deciding between schools (because they are waiting to hear about aid or whatever), certainly that is their prerogative to keep applications in as many places as they want. Once they have ruled out a school, however, the benefit to their bragging rights, insight into DC’s strengths, etc, seems of such minute benefit to their DC in comparison to the real harm done to DC’s classmates, that it just seems selfish in the extreme.

Anonymous wrote:What's rich is seeing all of these posters gang up on OP when each and every one of them would gladly give up a kidney if they thought it would get their kid into Harvard.

Bottom line is, OP's kid got in and now they're all butt hurt because their kid got turned down. DCUM butt-hurt is masked by fake moral superiority as on full display here.

Anonymous wrote:What's rich is seeing all of these posters gang up on OP when each and every one of them would gladly give up a kidney if they thought it would get their kid into Harvard.

Bottom line is, OP's kid got in and now they're all butt hurt because their kid got turned down. DCUM butt-hurt is masked by fake moral superiority as on full display here.

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Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

Is your argument that applying to (or not withdrawing from) a bunch of other schools after getting in SCEA to HYPS is a good idea because then the DC can figure out where they stand? That is ridiculous. What would you even do with that information? How would that even work? If DC didn't get into the other schools, then that shows DC isn't strong and therefore DC should not accept the original SCEA offer?

Can you honestly not understand "How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process?" Because knowing the cost of college attendance is a valid concern and learning the strength of student at the cost of hurting fellow classmates is not.

You are a money grubbing leech with communist/socialist tendencies who has no problem snatching money from others to benefit their child or themselves, even if it means less financial aid for others, but still has the audacity to feel morally superior to somebody who seeks the best for their kid.

SO let me spell it out for you. Every dollar that your greedy hand snatches from a financial aid office is one dollar less for someone else. Do you ever say "Oh, let me stop there, and let others take some money?" Of course not, you will suck out as much as your dirty hand can and as much as they will give you. Why? because you don't care about anybody else. You are a selfish pig.

Now how does that feel for a value judgement. Don't judge others if you don't want to be harshly judged for your own actions and motivations.

LOL. It actually feels fine. Your judgment is ridiculous. It is also one that I would guess that you would be embarrassed and unwilling to share in person with another human being. Others have pointed out the real cost to your DC's fellow students by applying to numerous highly competitive colleges that your DC has no intention of intending.

You still have not explained what practical benefit would be gained from knowing which schools your kid got into that they have no intention of attending. If you want to go to Harvard, what does getting into Harvard and Princeton gain you?

I truly hope your apple has fallen far from the tree. Otherwise they are going to have a very unhappy next four years, regardless of where they attend.

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Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

Is your argument that applying to (or not withdrawing from) a bunch of other schools after getting in SCEA to HYPS is a good idea because then the DC can figure out where they stand? That is ridiculous. What would you even do with that information? How would that even work? If DC didn't get into the other schools, then that shows DC isn't strong and therefore DC should not accept the original SCEA offer?

Can you honestly not understand "How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process?" Because knowing the cost of college attendance is a valid concern and learning the strength of student at the cost of hurting fellow classmates is not.

You are a money grubbing leech with communist/socialist tendencies who has no problem snatching money from others to benefit their child or themselves, even if it means less financial aid for others, but still has the audacity to feel morally superior to somebody who seeks the best for their kid.

SO let me spell it out for you. Every dollar that your greedy hand snatches from a financial aid office is one dollar less for someone else. Do you ever say "Oh, let me stop there, and let others take some money?" Of course not, you will suck out as much as your dirty hand can and as much as they will give you. Why? because you don't care about anybody else. You are a selfish pig.

Now how does that feel for a value judgement. Don't judge others if you don't want to be harshly judged for your own actions and motivations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

There's really two discussions about self interest types going on here. Going back to the OPs post about the rejections, per the reasoning above that kid doesn't belong in Harvard because there is little possibility she will survive and thrive. I am rather amazed that a person would have such doubts about an offspring's performance that this type of validation is emotionally required. The specially if they are planning to major in STEM and other rigorous and/or popular majors. It is better not to rely on a single college's assessment of your child's strength and suitability, argument also does not take into consideration the relative rigor and grading policies between elite schools. It's not a valid basis for comparison.

College mismatch, specially overmatch at elite schools is a well recognized issue. I am not the OP, but it is something that parents and students should definitely consider, specially because most colleges have other priorities than making sure that every student they admit is able to successfully graduate in the major of their choice. Now how you do this is an entirely different issue, so I will leave it to others to shed light on that.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

Is your argument that applying to (or not withdrawing from) a bunch of other schools after getting in SCEA to HYPS is a good idea because then the DC can figure out where they stand? That is ridiculous. What would you even do with that information? How would that even work? If DC didn't get into the other schools, then that shows DC isn't strong and therefore DC should not accept the original SCEA offer?

Can you honestly not understand "How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process?" Because knowing the cost of college attendance is a valid concern and learning the strength of student at the cost of hurting fellow classmates is not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.

There's really two discussions about self interest types going on here. Going back to the OPs post about the rejections, per the reasoning above that kid doesn't belong in Harvard because there is little possibility she will survive and thrive. I am rather amazed that a person would have such doubts about an offspring's performance that this type of validation is emotionally required. The argument also does not take into consideration the relative rigor and grading policies between elite schools. It's not a valid basis for comparison.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious OP - why continue on with RDs at other institutions if you got in SCEA Harvard? It's expensive, time-consuming, nail-biting, an enormous hassle and a stressor on your kid. I don't get it.

I see nothing wrong with a successful senior benchmarking that success by applying to other Top Ivies.

That's the kid who will end up without close friends and other families for future recommendations and network. What people don't think about is greediness leads them to be viewed as selfish, inconsiderate and either not very smart about or blundering their social collateral. With all the early hooks, seldom would most view entry as the sign of a senior being successful purely on academic merit so what is that benchmark worth? What will be noted and remembered is the lack of character. Families who do this are forever remarked upon as lacking graciousness and not to be trusted. And in your case it didn't work so your DC's H success is not going to be attributed to merit at all on her part. The most successful families we know do not do this.

My kid got into HYPS this year SCEA. Never in a million years would DC apply to other schools for a benchmark. First, it could hurt DC's fellow classmate's chances to get into the other schools. Second, what more of a benchmark would DC need?

Our DC did too but did not pull other apps to top schools. People can and do whatever they want. Don't care if people are mad.

I'm not mad. I just think you and your DC are assholes if DC left the other apps for any other reason than because DC needed more money from other schools or DC was serious about attending the other schools or both.

First, Viability at multiple schools is a much better sign of applicant strength than getting admitted at one school, even if that school is Harvard, because kids are admitted for all kinds of weird social justice reasons now. In fact if you don't make it to any other school, any sane candidate should question whether "s/he will survive and thrive" at the school that admitted them, since other schools did not think that the candidate's credentials made the cut. There are many kids (specially URM's, first gens and athletes) that go for the best school that admits them and then land up at the bottom of their cohort and are forced to switch majors when they could have done pretty well in a competitive major at lower tier school.

Finding out where you really stand is not just for bragging rights. There is no clear and easily available information that an applicant can use to really assess his or her strength nationally before making a college choice. The SAT/ACT exams are a joke.


regarding the "I think you are assholes" comment, you are a self-righteous, virtue signaling moron. How are parents who angle for free money more virtuous than parents who want to test the strength of their kids against other kids in the application process. What about parents who shop around for financial aid, thus depriving lower SES students from bigger financial aid packages. I am sure you don't consider them Assholes. And you are an imbecile if you think that one kid pulling his or her app is going to radically change another kid's chances of getting in. You get in, if you make the cut, not because another kid pulled her app.